Roses Are Red Puns (20) 1. Roses are red, violets are glorious, don’t ever surprise Oscar Pistorius. 2. Roses are red, wisterias are too, I’d love to go out with you. 3. Roses are red, pinks are as well, hand over your wallet or I’ll shoot you with my TEC-9. 4. Roses are red, here’s …
Random Jokes
Memorial Day Puns 1. I wanted to celebrate Memorial Day but all the good parties were grave affairs. 2. The cemetery was getting crowded so they had to start digging up plot twists. 3. We had a barbecue on Memorial Day. The hot dogs were to die for. 4. My friend got exhausted hosting the …
Dyslexia Puns 1. I tried to tell my dyslexic friend about eating disorders, but it just came out as “eating sorders”. 2. My dyslexic friend got really upset when I told him we were having alphabet soup for dinner. He hates consuming “soubet alph”. 3. I asked my dyslexic friend if he wanted to go …
Blow Up Doll Puns 1. I bought my girlfriend a blow up doll for her birthday. You could say she was in-flated with joy! 2. My friend got arrested for stealing blow up dolls. I guess he just couldn’t keep his hands to him-self. 3. I told my wife I bought a blow up doll …
Period Puns (25) I was going to make a period joke, but I decided to pass. The period at the end of a sentence isn’t always the crappiest period of the month. My period is like an unwelcome guest who arrives unexpectedly and overstays their welcome. Getting your period is a bloody mess. It’s like …
Labor Day Puns What do you call a lazy construction worker? A slacker! My friend got fired from the calendar factory. All he did was take a day off! I heard there was a big sale on Labor Day at the grocery store. Everything was 100% off! Why don’t cows ever get a day off? …
Diabetes Puns (10) I tried to make a cake for my friend with diabetes, but they said it was too sweet of me. The diabetic superhero goes by the name of Insulin Man. His sidekick is named Sugar Boy. My doctor told me to watch my sugar intake, so I fired my personal assistant named …
Chevy Puns (20) What do you call a Chevy that runs on water? A hydro-vette! Why don’t Chevys like going to the beach? Because they don’t want to get sand in their truck! Why did the Chevy go to the gym? It wanted to work on its truck! What did one Chevy say to another? …
Amish Puns 1. Why don’t Amish kids play video games? They prefer more analog entertainment. 2. Why don’t Amish people waterski? They don’t want to connect to the grid. 3. Why don’t Amish couples go to the movies? They prefer to Netflix and chill on the farm instead. 4. Did you hear about the Amish …
Big Forehead Puns (15) 1. I tried to read their forehead, but I couldn’t get past the first page. 2. They say people with big foreheads are smart, in that case, their forehead must be a genius. 3. I asked them to tell me what’s on their mind, and they pointed to their forehead. 4. …