Light Switch Puns 1. I heard two light switches got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent! 2. My friend couldn’t figure out why her light switch wasn’t working. I told her it’s because she needs to turn it on first! 3. Did you hear about the electrician who was found guilty …
Random Jokes
Tea Kettle Puns I bought a singing tea kettle, but it went flat after a few weeks. Now it just produces minor key-ttles. My tea kettle is very possessive. It gets mad if I use any other pots or pans. I guess it just wants all the at-ten-tion. I entered my tea kettle in a …
Hand Sanitizer Puns (20) I asked my friend if he had any hand sanitizer, he said “Sorry, my hands are clean at the moment!” My hands were looking rough, so I bought some extra smooth hand sanitizer to help soften them up. Did you hear about the germ that was obsessed with hand sanitizer? He …
Dish Soap Puns (15) I bet the dish soap company makes a clean profit. Working at the dish soap factory seems like a sudsy job to me. The greedy dish soap salesman tried to liquidate his assets before bankruptcy. My dish soap bottles identify as full even though they’re empty inside. Getting good grades in …
Laptop Puns 1. I bought a wireless keyboard and mouse for my laptop, but I don’t think it’s connected properly. There seems to be a missing USB link between them! 2. My laptop was feeling a bit slow, so I decided to install a solid-state drive. Let’s just say it’s booting up with a new …
Desktop Computer Puns (20) I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “how much for a drink?” The bartender replies, “for you, no charge.” Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds. I entered a contest for procrastinators. I plan to enter …
Hammer Puns I used to work in construction, but I got fired for nailing it constantly. My boss said I needed to hammer out the issues. My friend got frustrated trying to put together his new furniture and started hitting it with a hammer. I guess you could say he assembled it improperly. Did you …
Ladder Puns 1. I wanted to climb to the top, but the ladder of success was missing a few rungs. 2. My friend was climbing a ladder and yelled, “Hey, catch!” I missed and he fell off. Now he’s giving me the cold shoulder. 3. Did you hear about the angry ladder? It was up …
Carpet Puns I was going to get a new carpet, but decided to rug sweep the idea under the table instead. My new carpet has a plush texture. You could say it’s very down to earth. I spilled wine on my light gray carpet. Now it’s maroon. The carpet store had a sale on all …
Scissors Puns (15) 1. I entered a scissor cutting contest but it ended up being a huge ripoff. All the judges did was cut me out of the competition. 2. My friend got frustrated trying to cut wrapping paper with some cheap scissors. I told him not to worry about it and just keep trying …