Foot Puns 1. I wanted to get my toenails painted, but the salon was closed. What a missed oppor-toe-nity! 2. My friend got athlete’s foot from wearing borrowed bowling shoes. I told him he needs to treat it and not just brush it off like dandruff, otherwise it’ll spread like wildfire. He said “Toe-tally!” 3. …
Thomas Moore
Millennials Puns 1. What do you call a millennial who loves gardening? A plant millennial. 2. Why don’t millennials like talking on the phone? They’d rather text message. 3. What do you call a millennial who works at Starbucks? A barista. 4. Why do millennials love brunch so much? Because it’s not breakfast and it’s …
Cloud Puns 1. I wanted to make a cloud costume, but I couldn’t find the linings. 2. The cumulus cloud was feeling rather gloomy so he went to see a therapist. The therapist told him to lighten up a bit. 3. Why was the little cirrus cloud so sad? She felt all stratusfied. 4. What …
Grass Puns 1. I’m so glad I mowed the lawn yesterday, the grass was completely overgrown. You could say it was… high on pot. 2. My friend got busted for having marijuana in his backyard. His defense was that it was just overgrown grass, but the cops didn’t buy it. They could tell it was …
Literature Puns What do you call an author who used to be a doctor? A bookworm! What do you call an author who writes children’s books? An auteur for kids! Did you hear about the writer who got arrested? He was booked for a clause violation. Why was the English major crying? Because their life …
Spider Puns (15) What do you call a spider who loves to read? A bookweb! Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web. What did the spider do on the computer? Made a website! My friend called me freaking out about a spider in her house. I told her to look …
Book Puns 1. I tried to catch fog yesterday but I mist. 2. My friend got hit in the head with a can of soda. He was lucky it was a soft drink. 3. I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did. 4. I was wondering …
Engineers Puns What do you call an engineer who doesn’t know what he’s doing? A civil engineer. Why did the mechanical engineer get sent to jail? He was caught conducting improper torque. Why was the electrical engineer disappointed on his birthday? He didn’t get the current he was hoping for. Why are software engineers never …
Mushroom Puns 1. What do you call a mushroom who buys everything? A fun-guy! 2. Why don’t mushrooms ever pay to get into concerts? Because they’re fungi! 3. How did the mushroom get into the party? He used his spore ID! 4. What do you call a mushroom who works out a lot? A gym-nopedius! …
Feminism Puns 1. I identified as a feminist today. I just didn’t have the energy to explain intersectionality. 2. What do you call an eco-friendly feminist? A tree-hugger. 3. Why don’t feminists wear skirts? They don’t want to show their privates. 4. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up. 5. How does …
