Roses Are Red Puns (20) 1. Roses are red, violets are glorious, don’t ever surprise Oscar Pistorius. 2. Roses are red, wisterias are too, I’d love to go out with you. 3. Roses are red, pinks are as well, hand over your wallet or I’ll shoot you with my TEC-9. 4. Roses are red, here’s …
Thomas Moore
Amish Puns 1. Why don’t Amish kids play video games? They prefer more analog entertainment. 2. Why don’t Amish people waterski? They don’t want to connect to the grid. 3. Why don’t Amish couples go to the movies? They prefer to Netflix and chill on the farm instead. 4. Did you hear about the Amish …
Snowman Puns I heard it was going to snow tonight, so I made sure to give my snowman a scarf and warm hat so he doesn’t get a cold. My snowman looked a little thirsty, so I gave him some ice water. Our snowman had a meltdown when he found out summer was coming. The …
Boxes Puns What do you call a small box that makes everything inside invisible? A hide-and-box. Why was the cardboard box fired from his job at the factory? He was found guilty of container abuse. My friend got angry when I stepped on his box of eggs. He said, “Hey! Watch where you’re going!” I …
Yoda Puns 1. What do you call a snack made by Yoda? Yodibles. 2. Why was Yoda afraid of the number seven? Because six, seven ate! 3. What did Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4K? HDMI, I look. 4. How does Yoda like his sandwiches? On Dagobread with Hamayonnaise. 5. What does …
Sun Puns 1. I heard the sun got arrested yesterday for drug possession. Apparently he had a lot of ecstasy. 2. Why was the sun so bright and cheerful this morning? It took some Vitamin D-light! 3. Did you hear about the sun who went on a tropical vacation? It was a real tan-gent! 4. …
June Puns (10) 1. I heard June was going to get married soon. I guess she wanted to be a June bride! 2. My friend got married in June. When I asked him why, he said “I wanted to start the marriage off right and get married in the Junes of our lives.” 3. Someone …
Texas Puns What do you call a really tiny town in Texas? A micro-city! Why did the cowboy get a smartphone? He wanted to Texas friends. Why are phones bigger in Texas? Because everything’s bigger in Texas! How do you find someone from Texas in a crowded room? Just yell “y’all” and see who turns …
Submarine Puns 1. I heard the new submarine has state-of-the-art sonar. You could say it’s quite the sound investment. 2. The submarine crew was unsure about their next mission. They decided to dive in and see where it takes them. 3. The submarine captain got frustrated trying to find a parking spot. He ended up …
Starbucks Puns (25) I wanted to buy some ground coffee but the barista said it was only available in beans. That’s too bad, I was hoping to read up on the latest grinds. Working at Starbucks has its perks but you really have to learn the ins and outs of coffee. Otherwise you’ll end up …