Nachos Puns I was going to make some nachos, but I didn’t have the chips or cheese. What a crumby situation! My friend wanted to get into the nachos business, but he was afraid there wasn’t much money in it. I told him if you can’t make money selling nachos, you have bigger quesadillas to …
Susan Parker
Apples Puns (10) What do you call an apple that cuts hair? A barber! Why did the apple turn red? It was embarrased! How do apples communicate? They use iMessage! Why did the apple go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peelin’ well! What’s an apple’s favorite music? Wrap! How do apples get clean? They …
Pie Puns I tried making an apple pie in the shape of pi once. It was pretty irrational. What do you call a pie baked by a math teacher? A pi pie! The baker was feeling a bit crusty when her pies didn’t turn out quite right. The new baker was told to prepare for …
Burger Puns 1. I relish a good burger pun! 2. Let’s meat up and swap burger puns. 3. Burger puns are a rare medium well done. 4. What kind of shoes do burgers wear? Loafers! 5. I came for the buns but stayed for the burgers. 6. Don’t have a cow, man, these are just …
Family Puns 1. I asked my brother why he was drawing a picture of a shoe. He said, “It’s my sole family portrait!” 2. My dad always says he wants to catch up on sleep, but he keeps dozing off. 3. My sister got mad when I called her a lazy egg. She said, “I’m …
Hot Tub Puns 1. I wanted to take a dip in the hot tub, but when I got in all the jets were broken. It was an un-bubble-lievable experience. 2. My friend brought his pet duck into the hot tub. I told him that was a foul fowl in the tub. 3. I brought my …
Pasta Puns 1. What do you call an angry pile of spaghetti? Furious Fettucine! 2. How does spaghetti like to travel? By Noodle Express! 3. Why was the spaghetti sad? Because it felt saucy! 4. What do you call a pasta that loves to dance? Rigatoni! 5. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they …
Dream Puns I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted! I dreamt I was a wig last night. It was hair-raising! Last night I dreamed I was a pair of curtains. It was shear madness! I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. …
Dj Puns What do you call a DJ who works at the airport? A turntablist. Why was the DJ’s equipment so dusty? He rarely used his turntables. My friend got fired from his DJ job. I guess he didn’t turn-table in time. What did the DJ name his son? Eric. How does a DJ freshen …
City Puns (15) I heard there’s going to be a big limestone sale in Athens. Everything must go! Why did the builder get fired from working on Dubai’s skyscrapers? He wasn’t making the cut. Why was the tourist disappointed after visiting the historical district in Philadelphia? There was no bell there. Why do people say …