Long Island Puns I heard Long Island is changing its name to Extra Large Island because everything is bigger there. People in Long Island love to eat clams. You could say they’re pretty clam happy. Long Islanders throw the best parties. They really know how to Fire Island up. Visiting the vineyards in Long Island …
Robert Hayes
Horses Puns 1. I wanted to make a joke about horses, but I decided to just rein it in. 2. My friend got kicked by a horse right in the forehead. Let’s just say he took it straight on the mane. 3. I tried to tell a joke about horses, but it turned out to …
Forrest Gump Puns 1. Why was Forrest able to run across the country so quickly? He was just Forrest…running! 2. Why did Forrest decide to start a shrimp fishing business? He wanted to try his hand at prawn stars. 3. How did Forrest know exactly when to buy and sell Apple stock? He listened to …
Swan Puns 1. I saw a group of swans swimming in formation earlier. It was quite the flotilla! 2. My friend tried to make a sweater out of swan feathers but it didn’t turn out well. I guess the material was a bit downy. 3. Did you hear about the swan who loved going to …
Zoo Puns 1. What do you call a sleepy zookeeper? A zoo-nooze! 2. Why are frogs so happy at the zoo? They enjoy being in a hopitat! 3. How do zookeepers organize a party? They plan-it very carefully! 4. Why was the little gorilla crying? Because his mommy and daddy were monkeying around! 5. What’s …
Cupcake Puns 1. I knead to tell you about these cupcake puns before you get too baked. 2. What did the cupcake say when it got sad? “I’m feeling a little crumby today.” 3. Why was the cupcake sad? It was feeling a little batter. 4. Why don’t cupcakes like baseball? It makes them feel …
Steak Puns 1. I tried to come up with a steak pun but it was a rare medium well done. 2. What do you call a cow who works as a comedian? A steak up comic. 3. Why don’t vegans eat fake steak? They don’t want to engage in calfamity. 4. What do you call …
Beauty Puns 1. I wanted to get my nails done, but the salon was fully booked. I guess you could say they had a full appointment calendar. 2. I was looking for a new hairstylist, but none of them seemed right. I guess I’m still searching for the mane event. 3. I went to get …
Pig Puns 1. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop! 2. Why did the pig go to the gym? He wanted to be boar-like! 3. I tried to catch fog yesterday but mist. How do you catch a unique pig? You use a uni-corn! 4. What do you call a …
Birthday Puns 1. I wanted to get you something really special for your birthday that would last a lifetime, so I got you this calendar. 2. I was going to get you a cake for your birthday, but I figured you’re sweet enough already. 3. For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to …