Brunch Puns 1. I made French toast for brunch, but it came out all wrong. I guess I shouldn’t have used imitation sirop d’érable. 2. I was feeling eggs-hausted this morning so I decided to make brunch plans with friends. They were totally eggs-cited! 3. My friend kept insisting that brunch was better than breakfast. …
Lisa Garcia
Leg Puns 1. I wanted to become a foot model, but I didn’t have a leg to stand on. 2. My friend got his leg amputated, but don’t worry—he’s all right now! 3. Did you hear about the angry pirate with a wooden leg? He had a peg leg he could stand on! 4. Why …
Raccoon Puns 1. What do you call a raccoon who always follows the rules? A stickler for raccinettequette. 2. Why don’t raccoons ever win at hide and seek? They’re terrible at playing raccoon and seek. 3. What did the mama raccoon say when her kids wouldn’t calm down? “Settle down you little rascal-coons!” 4. Why …
Jellyfish Puns (10) What do you call a jellyfish that doesn’t sting? A jellyfish without tent-acles! Why don’t jellyfish like playing cards? Because they always end up with a full house! Where do jellyfish go to dance? The jellyfish ball! Why are jellyfish so bad at hide and seek? Because they’re transparent! What do you …
Witch Puns 1. I wanted to dress up as a witch for Halloween, but I couldn’t find my broom closet. 2. What do you call a witch who only eats sand? Malnourished. 3. Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms? They’re afraid of flying off the handle. 4. Why did the witch put her broom …
Taxi Puns 1. I heard Uber and Lyft are merging to form one company called Uft. 2. I was going to tell a joke about taxis, but it wasn’t fare. 3. Did you hear about the taxi driver who got arrested? He was charged with meter fraud. 4. A taxi driver decided to quit his …
Bat Puns 1. I couldn’t see a thing in the cave without my flashlight. It was pitch black. 2. The baseball player swung and missed. “That’s strike one,” the umpire called. The batter responded, “No, that’s a bat one.” 3. Did you hear about the clumsy bat? He was always hanging around. 4. Why don’t …
Navy Puns (10) 1. I wanted to join the Navy, but I didn’t have the stomach for it. The only seamen for me are in my belly! 2. My friend joined the Navy hoping to see the world, but all he ever sees is water. I guess that’s just the wave it is. 3. I …
Moth Puns 1. What do you call a moth who loves listening to music? A moth aficionado! 2. Why was the moth teacher angry at her students? They were being little mothtraplings! 3. What did the baby moth say to its mom? I love you a mothful! 4. Why don’t moths eat clothes with holes …
Mattress Puns 1. I was feeling tired so I decided to take a nap. I guess you could say I was… mattress testing! 2. My friend bought a new mattress but didn’t like how firm it was. I told him he just needed to break it in! 3. I was thinking about getting a new …