Jewish Puns 1. I was going to make a joke about the High Holidays, but I decided to atone for it instead. 2. Did you hear about the new Jewish dating app? It’s called Shadchan Meet. 3. What do you call someone who converts to Judaism just for the jokes? A pun-vert. 4. Why do …
Jennifer Martinez
Independence Day Puns 1. I wanted to make some 4th of July puns, but all the good ones argon. 2. What do you call an independent cat? An in-de-pen-dent! 3. Why did the firework refuse to light? It was too in-de-pen-dent! 4. I bought a bunch of fireworks but they were duds. Talk about in-de-pen-duds! …
Grocery Store Puns 1. I was going to make a joke about the vegetable aisle, but it was corny. 2. The cashier looked exhausted after checking people out all day. I told her to just bag it. 3. The grocery store manager told me I couldn’t put up flyers without permission. I said, “No problem, …
Good Friday Puns 1. What do you call a cross between Good Friday and Easter Sunday? Holy Saturday! 2. Why was the cross angry on Good Friday? It was being cruci-fied. 3. Why did the priest take a nap on Good Friday? He was dead tired. 4. What do you call a funny Easter bunny? …
Bone Puns 1. I tried to come up with a skeleton pun but I didn’t have the guts. 2. What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone appetite! 3. Why didn’t the skeleton want to play soccer? He didn’t have the ball to do it. 4. Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road? He …
Eye Puns 1. I tried to keep an eye on my school expenses, but my education cost me an arm and a leg! 2. My optometrist told me to see her in the morning, but I can’t see anything without my glasses! 3. I was hoping to see my favorite band in concert, but unfortunately …
Bread Puns 1. I knead to make some bread puns today. It’s the yeast I could dough. 2. What did the bread say when it was being baked? I’m getting toastie in here! 3. Why was the bread thrown out of the restaurant? It was loafing around. 4. The bakery owner fired his employee for …
Friend Puns My best friend was sad after losing their leg in an accident, but I assured them it would all be alright. I said, “You still have me to lean on.” My friend got mad when I made fun of their fear of palindromes. So I told them, “Yell all you want, I won’t …
Electricity Puns (15) What do you call an electrician who just broke up with his girlfriend? A free electron. Why was the battery feeling down? It was lacking energy. What did the scientist say when he discovered electrons? “I just made a power discovery!” Why was the power plant worker fired? He kept generating bad …
Seagull Puns What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? A bay-gull! Why don’t seagulls fly over the sea? Because then they’d be bay-gulls! What did the seagull say when it flew into a glass window? “That pane hurt!” What’s a seagull’s favorite chemical element? Seaganese! How does a seagull style its …