Totem Pole Puns (20) 1. I wanted to carve a totem pole, but I woodknot know where to start. 2. My friend is obsessed with totem poles. I think he needs totem down a bit. 3. Did you hear about the totem pole that was arrested? He was charged with illegal logging. 4. I entered …
Daniel Adams
Money Puns I was going to tell a joke about unemployment, but none of them worked. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down. I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn’t find a manual. I bought some …
Neck Puns I was feeling stiff after sleeping wrong, but a trip to the neck spa worked out all the kinks! The giraffe hurt his neck and had to go see a neck specialist called an orthoneckdic doctor. I entered my pet turtle in a neck stretching competition. I knew he had a good chance …
Waiter Puns (25) I asked the waiter what the soup of the day was, he said it was super salad. I said don’t you mean soup or salad? He said no, it’s super salad. My waiter told me the fish special was salmon with a garlic cream sauce. I said that sounds crappie. I told …
Toothpaste Puns (20) 1. Why was the tube of toothpaste feeling down? It was squeezed out. 2. What do you call an electric toothbrush that runs out of battery? A paste pusher. 3. My dentist told me to switch to an all-natural toothpaste. I said, “You mean I have to give up my Colgate?” He …
Ginger Puns 1. I tried dyeing my hair ginger but it came out a little too orange – you could say I’m a dye-hard redhead wannabe. 2. I wanted to spice up my look so I asked the hairdresser for some ginger highlights. She said, “Are you sure? Going ginger is a bold move.” 3. …
Purple Puns (12) What do you call an eggplant that ran a marathon? A plum pooped! Why was the grape feeling blue? It was lacking a little red and had too much purple! How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it! What do you call a sleeping eggplant? An auber-gin! How do you organize a …
Teacher Puns Why was the math teacher late to school? She took the rhombus. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright! Why do teachers make good vampires? They have class. Why did the teacher put on rubber boots? She wanted to avoid shocking her students. Why are math teachers always …
St Patrick’s Day Puns (15) 1. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his drinking? Paddy O’Moderation. 2. Why don’t people in Ireland ever starve? Because the only time they don’t eat is when they’re Dublin over with laughter! 3. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? …
Smell Puns (15) What do you call a magazine about odors? A scent-sational read! Why did the skunk get fired from the perfume factory? He stank at his job. What do you call a smelly monster? A pungent creature. Why did the man with no nose struggle to eat? He lacked the scent-sory ability to …