As I dive into the second installment of my Real Bride Diary, I’m still getting used to writing about my own wedding planning experience rather than sharing stories from my friend Gemma. But, here’s my take on the most challenging part of the process so far: finding the perfect venue. It all started with a dreamy Pinterest board, featuring a picturesque scene that would be my ideal wedding setting – complete with a starry night sky and happy relatives dancing the night away. However, as an Irish bride-to-be, I knew that this fairytale-like scenario wasn’t exactly feasible given our unpredictable weather conditions and some less-than-stellar mobility among certain aunties and uncles.
JUNE 19th 2015: 13 months, one week and five days.
As we count down the days until the big day, it’s hard to believe that what felt like an eternity ago is now just a memory. My mind has been preoccupied with organic beauty, specifically Organic Ribbon, while Mark has been smitten with Green Suits. Meanwhile, this month has been all about laying the groundwork for our next adventure – a trip back to Ireland, where we’ll be finalizing details and making appointments. Styling by Alise Taggart, Photo by Paula O’Hara via Ruffled.I still get goosebumps thinking about The Millhouse, which stole my heart with just one glance. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be our reception venue – but the experience only fueled my determination to find the perfect space for our celebration. That’s why we embarked on a comprehensive search across two countries, pouring over 5,000 Google results and visiting at least 13 venues. Yes, you could say we took it pretty seriously!As a wedding blogger, I know that once you’ve chosen your venue, many other decisions will be influenced by the space itself. You might need to adjust your vision for string lights or catering options – but getting the venue right upfront makes all the difference. Photography, food, and music are crucial, of course, but securing the perfect setting first simplifies the rest of the planning process.I must admit that I felt like Goldilocks at each venue appointment, searching high and low for the ‘just right’ fit – but in the end, our meticulous approach paid off. Another early contender was MC Motors, a unique spot just around the corner from our London home; unfortunately, it was out of our budget.
First, It Was London
We had a clear vision of our big day – a charming pub wedding in London, with its picturesque secret garden and laid-back atmosphere. I had even envisioned every detail, from the decor to the menu to the ceremony itself. Unfortunately, our dream was crushed when the pub declined our request. To say we were disappointed would be an understatement.As we explored other options, we fell in love with the idea of a London pub wedding, reminiscent of The Londesborough’s relaxed vibe. However, it wouldn’t have been fair to expect our families to travel all the way for just one day. We wanted to share our life in London with our Irish loved ones and create a memorable experience.But as we delved deeper, reality set in. While there are many great wedding packages available in London, finding an outdoor space with a weatherproof option that fit our budget proved challenging. When we factored in travel costs, guest entertainment, and the unfavorable exchange rate, it became clear that getting married back home in Ireland would offer us more flexibility and choice.Some of our favorite London venues include The Londesborough, Clissold House, Crate, MC Motors, Asylum, and Islington MetalWorks. While we had our hearts set on a London pub wedding, ultimately, common sense prevailed, and we opted for a more practical and enjoyable celebration in Ireland.
Then, It Was Ireland
We left four years ago and since then, Ireland’s wedding scene has undergone a significant transformation. With more options than ever before, we knew we had to be selective in finding the perfect spot that fit our unique style. We were looking for something laid-back, unweddingy, and full of character. The options ranged from barns to country houses and glamping venues, but we decided to focus on exclusive hire venues where we could hold our ceremony onsite. After narrowing down our choices to ten favorite venues, Marko and I embarked on a three-day adventure in Ireland, viewing potential spots and getting a feel for each place. We were torn between a few options, but one venue stood out from the rest – The Grain Store at Killruddery House in Wicklow. It was love at first sight! Not only did it tick all our boxes, but it also offered us the freedom to be creative and get crafty. And let’s not forget the stunning backdrop for our ceremony – weather permitting, of course. We’re thrilled to be having our BBQ bash in the barn and farmyard, surrounded by beautifully manicured gardens and a historic country house. The team has been incredibly kind and flexible, and we can’t wait to sample their locally sourced food and drinks. For us, this venue is the perfect fit – relaxed, unique, and full of charm.
My Top 10 Tips for Finding a Wedding Venue
While not seasoned event planners, Marko and I took pride in conducting an exhaustive search for the perfect venue. As we reflect on our experience, it’s clear that certain aspects stood out as crucial to our success. In this regard, here are the key takeaways from our quest for the ideal location.
Cast a Wide Net
We aimed to create a unique atmosphere at our venue by breaking away from traditional wedding settings. Our only rule was to avoid a hotel or function room, seeking instead alternative spaces that would provide an exclusive experience. This led us to explore a wide range of options – from theatres and restaurants to bars, cafes, studios, private homes, farms, barns, and even a movie set. The concept of ‘exclusive hire’ became our guiding principle, as we sought to avoid sharing the space with others. In the end, our chosen venue may be classified as a ‘wedding venue,’ but it doesn’t conform to traditional expectations, and we’re confident that we’ve found the best fit for us.
Feel Over Look
While visual appeal is important, we learned to prioritize the emotional connection we felt in a venue over its aesthetic. We visited numerous stunning venues, yet they failed to capture the essence of our celebration style. The idea of our friends and family having a lively, carefree party at these places just didn’t resonate with us.
One venue that stood out was The Fern House at Avoca – it would be perfect for an intimate gathering. However, despite its beauty, it wasn’t the right fit for our high-energy celebration. We had to keep searching until we found a space that truly felt like ‘us’.
Make a List of Priorities
As we prepared for our trip to Ireland, Marko and I took a moment to reflect on what mattered most to us in our accommodations. We prioritized outdoor space, a distinctive design, excellent dining options, and welcoming staff – the trifecta of a perfect stay. While these preferences might evolve as our search progresses, committing them to paper at the outset has been incredibly beneficial, leading me nicely into Tip 4.
Be on the Same Page
We embarked on a joint quest for the perfect wedding venue, each with an equal say in every location we explored. The power to veto was firmly in our hands, ensuring that any decision we made was a collective one. Fortunately, our opinions aligned more often than not, and we avoided any major disagreements.One of my top contenders was Ballyvolane House, but when Marko wasn’t equally enamored, it unfortunately became a casualty of our careful consideration process. Its charms notwithstanding, the venue’s hefty price tag would have required some significant budgetary adjustments.
Stay on Budget
One venue in particular caught my eye, and its initial estimates seemed to align with our budget based on their online quote. However, when we received the official estimate, it was surprisingly higher – nearly double what we had initially anticipated. While it’s understandable to be tempted to splurge on a special venue, it’s essential to keep in mind that this decision will have ripple effects elsewhere. Cutting back in other areas may be necessary to accommodate the increased expense, and there are still many details to iron out before the big day.
Try Not To Get Attached
As an emotional individual, I had high expectations for each and every venue we visited. Unfortunately, reality didn’t quite live up to my dreams, as some venues were already booked, out of our budget, or failed to meet the standards set by their online presence.
It’s a valuable lesson learned: avoiding such experiences will spare you a significant amount of disappointment.
One venue that caught my eye was Arthur’s Barn – a true blank canvas with endless possibilities. However, it required more effort than we were willing to invest from our London base.
Think Logistics
When planning our wedding, we had a clear vision in mind, including long banquet tables, BBQ or family-style catering, and a 10-person band. As we explored potential venues, these elements served as guiding principles, allowing us to assess how they might fit seamlessly into the space. While not non-negotiable requirements, it was crucial to keep them in mind. Another key consideration was our expected guest count, which is essential to establish early on to ensure a venue’s capacity aligns with your needs.
But Be Flexible
When searching for the perfect wedding venue, it’s essential to strike a balance between your ideal scenario and reality. While having an intimate backyard celebration or a whimsical summer afternoon might be your dream come true, life can be unpredictable, and the weather doesn’t always cooperate. In Ireland, where I’ve spent most of my life, I’ve learned that outdoor venues are often at the mercy of the elements. A few years ago, we almost booked Smock Alley, a charming Dublin church-turned-theatre venue, but ultimately decided that having an outdoor space was crucial for our special day. Even with a perfect venue in mind, be prepared to adjust your dates if the stars align and the ideal spot becomes available.
Prep Your Questions
When it comes to planning an event, having a comprehensive list of questions to ask each potential venue is crucial to ensure that all your needs are met. Our experience has shown that a well-prepared list can help avoid costly mistakes and unnecessary stress. A good starting point for your list should include questions about corkage fees, bar hours (a key consideration when planning an evening event), vendor policies, including rules around outside vendors and any restrictions on what they can offer, as well as details on decor coordination, photography options, and whether children are permitted to attend at night. Additionally, it’s a good idea to inquire about the venue’s provision of essentials such as chairs, tables, tableware, sound systems, and lighting, to name just a few examples.