Navigating the decision to include children in your wedding celebration can be a complex one. For those with little ones already, it’s likely that they’ll play a central role in the proceedings. But for couples who are child-free, considering whether to invite kids or stick to an adult-only gathering can be a difficult dilemma.
Children or No Children?
While it’s natural to dream of a glamorous, adults-only affair or a lively wedding weekend in a chalet, family expectations can sometimes get in the way. But ultimately, your wedding is yours and your partner’s, so do what feels right for you both. If you decide not to have children at your wedding, be sure to communicate this clearly with friends and family well in advance, giving them ample time to arrange a babysitter or take advantage of a ‘night off’ celebrating your special day with you. It’s crucial to be explicit about the guest list on your save-the-date cards and invitations. Be specific when addressing your wedding stationery – is it simply Mr. & Mrs. Jones or The Jones Family? On the invitation itself, include a clear message regarding children, such as ‘children welcome’ or ‘no children under the age of 10, please.’ If needed, add a brief note inside the envelope, stating something like: ‘We adore your little ones, but our wedding/wedding venue isn’t suitable for children under 10. Unfortunately, there are no on-site crèche facilities either, so we kindly request that you leave them at home with a babysitter.’
‘Children Welcome’
As you plan your special day, it’s essential to consider the needs of your younger guests. As an early years teacher-turned-bride who had 10 kids at my wedding, I’ve learned that keeping them entertained and happy requires a bit of creativity. One way to achieve this is by hiring crèche facilities staffed by qualified nannies. They can set up an activity center where children can play and be supervised throughout the day or during specific periods.If your budget doesn’t permit a crèche, consider asking your venue if they have a quiet room or area where parents can retreat with their little ones. This space can serve as a refuge for both kids and adults, providing a chance to recharge and regroup. In my case, the venue had a TV and DVD player installed in this room, which was a fantastic idea.For an added bonus, popping on a popular children’s movie or cartoon is a surefire way to captivate your younger guests’ attention, encouraging them to calm down and sit still for a bit. By considering these simple yet effective strategies, you can ensure that all of your wedding guests – young and old alike – have an unforgettable experience.
The two parts of a wedding day that are the trickiest for children are:
As the special day unfolds, let’s delve into the intricacies of the ceremony and speeches that bring the celebration to life. We’ll explore each aspect in detail, from the exchanging of vows to heartfelt words spoken by loved ones. To ensure our youngest guests remain captivated, I’ll also share a few creative suggestions for keeping children engaged and thrilled throughout these pivotal wedding moments.
The Ceremony
As the ceremony unfolds, parents can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that their little ones are being closely monitored by fellow adults who understand the importance of maintaining a peaceful atmosphere. Some may even bring along their child’s favorite comfort items to keep them occupied and content during the proceedings. After all, no one wants to be the center of attention as their tiny human decides to let out a primal scream in the middle of the bride and groom’s vows! A discreet reminder at the start of the ceremony that it’s perfectly fine to step outside if needed can also encourage parents to gently usher any fussy or upset children away from earshot, preserving the sanctity of the moment for all involved. The image above, captured by Stig Albansson via Moment Junkie, beautifully illustrates the joy and chaos that can ensue when little ones are present at such a momentous occasion.
Children in your Bridal Party
When it comes to incorporating little bridesmaids and page boys into your wedding party, it’s essential to take extra precautions to ensure they feel comfortable and confident on the big day. Start by clearly explaining their roles and demonstrating what you expect from them, as children may have a very different understanding of tasks like throwing petals.To help them feel more prepared, practice the walk with them beforehand – ideally using the same music and venue where the ceremony will take place. This will not only give them an idea of what to expect but also help them feel special by having a ‘job’ to do. Be sure to express your gratitude for their involvement in your wedding, as this can go a long way in making them feel valued.Keep in mind that even if they seem confident beforehand, the day of the ceremony may bring out feelings of shyness or worry in these young participants. To alleviate any nerves, consider having a parent or trusted adult on hand to provide reassurance and distractions prior to the ceremony. Pairing up your little ones can be especially helpful, but also have a backup plan in place, such as assigning a bridesmaid or usher to accompany them down the aisle.Finally, make sure that the parents of any young toddlers or shy children are nearby, so they can step in if needed – this may mean ‘walking’ down the aisle with their child in their arms. While it’s not ideal for these little ones to be part of your official wedding party, it’s better than having a distressed child at the end of the aisle when you’re about to say your vows.
Confetti
The confetti toss is an exhilarating experience that brings joy to both children and adults. It’s often the highlight of the celebration for the newlyweds themselves! If your venue prohibits confetti, don’t worry – there are two fantastic alternatives that serve as additional entertainment for kids: ribbon wands and bubbles. While bubbles can be a hit with little ones, it’s essential to supervise young children under five as they may ingest more than they blow. Ribbon wands, on the other hand, are perfect for sunny or windy days, allowing kids to run wild while waving their colorful creations in the air (at least for a little while). To keep both youngsters and adults engaged, you could also consider lawn games, a mesmerizing magician, or a caricaturist. For a truly unique experience, you might even incorporate fairground-style activities like ‘hook a duck,’ as my lovely cousin Amie is doing at her carnival-themed wedding.
Inside or Outside?
When planning your wedding ceremony and reception, it’s essential to consider the needs of your younger guests. Large open spaces can provide ample opportunity for kids to burn off energy after the ‘I dos.’ However, when inclement weather sets in or you’re hosting an indoor reception, think creatively about how to keep little ones entertained. Providing a goody bag filled with quiet toys and activities can be a lifesaver during downtime, whether it’s during dinner or while adults are mingling. Alternatively, set up a cozy movie area – indoors or out – complete with blankets and cushions, offering a comfortable haven for children to relax and recharge.
The Meal
Before mapping out your table plan, consider the needs of your youngest guests by consulting with parents beforehand. This will help prevent potential issues and ensure a more enjoyable experience for all. Additionally, you’ll need to factor in the number of child-friendly meals and high chairs required. Typically, kids’ meals are smaller, kid-approved versions of adult dishes – think mini fish and chips or lunchbox-style meals. These options not only cater to their tastes but also tend to be significantly more budget-friendly than adult meals.
The Children’s Table Dilemma
The decision to involve children in mealtime activities often boils down to their age. While some families may opt for including even the youngest members, others might deem it more suitable for children above a certain threshold. In my opinion, kids under five shouldn’t be left to sit at a table unaccompanied by older siblings or adults.
The Pros
In this set-up, all the children are gathered in one location, allowing caterers to efficiently deliver their mini meals, lunch boxes, activity packs, or party favors. This arrangement also enables kids to freely socialize and enjoy themselves without constant parental reminders to quiet down. Meanwhile, parents can take a well-deserved break, unwind with a glass of wine or champagne during dinner, and recharge before the evening’s activities.
The Cons
The challenges of hosting a birthday party for young children are numerous, particularly when it comes to ensuring their safety and comfort. One major obstacle is the difficulty in monitoring their food intake, as well as the types of foods being consumed. Additionally, unsupervised play can lead to chaotic behavior, making it crucial to have a system in place to maintain order. Furthermore, introducing shy or introverted children to a group of unfamiliar peers can be overwhelming for them, requiring extra consideration and support.
Children’s Activity Packs
When planning a meal for kids, consider adding a children’s activity pack to each plate. This thoughtful touch can keep little ones engaged throughout the meal. Include items like puzzle books, finger puppets, or stickers that cater to their age and interests. For inspiration, check out this helpful post on crafting the perfect pack, as well as some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind.
The Speeches
It’s not uncommon to witness a father of the bride’s speech that drags on for over 45 minutes at a wedding. Initially, guests might be charmed by the sweet sentiment, but as the minutes tick by, attention spans start to wane. The inevitable glances at watches and phones become more frequent, and whispers of ‘can we just get this over with?’ begin to circulate. Now imagine that feeling amplified 100 times. This is what many children under seven experience when forced to sit through long speeches, devoid of understanding or interest.Children’s attention spans are naturally shorter than adults’, making it challenging for young minds to grasp the significance of a father’s heartfelt speech. It’s no wonder why crèches and quiet rooms become a godsend during such events! I’ve struggled to find a solution to this issue, but my best attempt is to make an announcement about the impending speeches or discreetly enlist the help of planners, ushers, and bridesmaids to guide parents towards the kids’ table. Perhaps they can entertain their little ones with toys, games, or soothing cartoons on their phones.In contrast, many children are transfixed by CBeebies and computer games, able to sit still for extended periods. This is a silver lining – maybe we can capitalize on this phenomenon?
Photo Booths Are Fun For All Ages
At many weddings, having a photo booth is already a crowd-pleaser, but it’s even more so when little ones get involved. At our wedding, we had a dressing-up box filled with props that kept kids giggling and making hilarious faces in front of the camera. The resulting photos are some of the most side-splitting memories from the big day – a true bonus for any couple hosting an unforgettable celebration!
The Dancing
Children often delight in lively tunes, freely expressing themselves through spontaneous movements. They revel in being twirled and swung around by adults or reenacting their favorite activities like airplane simulations, weaving in and out of partygoers with infectious energy. However, it’s essential to consider the auditory sensitivities of little ears and the potential need for early bedtimes, especially after a long day filled with excitement. This might necessitate an earlier departure from the celebration than initially planned. To maximize your dance time with family and friends who have children, I recommend starting the party as soon as possible. For many, the dancing portion of the day seems to fly by, leaving us wishing for just one more song before reluctantly wrapping up.
A Final Important Note About Children At Weddings…
While it’s ultimately up to parents or caregivers to ensure their children are engaged and having a good time, rest assured that you’re not expected to be a one-stop-shop for entertainment. Parents likely will come prepared with their child’s favorite toys or devices, such as tablets, to keep them occupied during downtime. With this in mind, focus on providing a welcoming environment that allows families to bond and create lasting memories.
Want even more ideas?
Martha Stewart’s guidelines for involving children in wedding celebrations are always insightful, but let’s take it a step further. Not only should we consider the etiquette of having kids involved in the big day, but also what goodies to include in their special bags. For instance, some couples might opt for fun activities like coloring books or puzzle toys, while others might choose healthier options like granola bars or dried fruit. I’d love to hear from fellow parents and wedding industry experts on their go-to ideas for keeping kiddos engaged and happy at weddings.
