Printer Puns
1. I was having issues with my printer so I decided to read the manual. Turns out it was just a short story.
2. My printer ran out of ink while printing a long document. I guess it just couldn’t take so many pages.
3. I entered a contest for the most high-tech printer. But I lost to a 3D printer.
4. My printer started making weird noises. I think it’s having a midlife crisis.
5. I wanted to name my printer Brad because it’s always printing Pitt.
6. I was suspicious of my new printer because all the documents it printed were in Times New Roman.
7. I brought my malfunctioning printer to get repaired. The technician said it just needed a new motherboard. Guess it was having mommy issues.
8. My printer refused to work no matter what I tried. It was having an existential crisis about its purpose in life.
9. I caught my printer stealing paper behind my back. It was a transparency issue.
10. My printer started randomly spitting out pages of gibberish text. I think it’s trying to communicate with me.
11. I told my printer a humorous pun but it didn’t laugh. It has no sense of humor.
12. My printer ran out of cyan ink so I tried replacing it with blue ink. But apparently it’s very picky about color nuance.
13. My printer keeps telling me it’s out of magenta ink, but I know it’s lying. Printers just love to stir up drama.
14. I wanted to teach my printer to fetch documents for me, but training it was useless. You can’t teach an old printer new tricks.
15. I caught my printer paper jamming on purpose because it didn’t want to work. It was being a rebel without a cause.
16. My printer started printing backwards. I think it’s going through its reverse psychology phase.
17. I wanted to get my printer into modeling but it didn’t have the figure for it.
18. My printer got jealous that I was using my phone too much and started acting up. It just wanted some attention.
Printer One-Liners
19. My printer identifies as out of ink.
20. My printer spends more time jamming than a 90s garage band.
21. My printer is so old, it uses hieroglyphics instead of fonts.
22. My printer is like Monday mornings – slow and reluctant to work.
23. I thought my printer was sleeping but turns out it was in a coma from lack of ink.
24. My printer is so messy, papers are stuck to it like glue.
25. My printer is the office drama queen, always complaining about something.
26. My printer is more high maintenance than any celebrity out there.
27. My printer hates me more than an angry cat.
28. My printer is as temperamental as an artist dealing with creative block.
29. My printer behaves more erratically than a toddler hopped up on sugar.
30. My printer has more issues than Vogue magazine.
31. My printer is as slow as an old grandpa on a walk.
32. My printer likes to troll me by only working when I’m frustrated.
33. My printer runs hot and cold more extremely than Katy Perry’s songs.
34. My printer is the office equivalent of an annoying co-worker who yammers all day.
35. My printer takes longer to warm up than a hibernating bear in winter.
36. My printer is as obsolete as a VCR player.
Best Printer Jokes
37. I was having issues getting my printer to work so I decided to talk to it calmly and lovingly. I said in a soothing voice “You’re a good printer, I know you can do it.” Suddenly the printer whirred to life and started perfectly printing my documents. I guess it just needed some positive affirmation and TLC.
38. My printer started making weird noises late at night when I was alone in the office. At first I thought it was broken, but then I realized…it was communicating with the mother printer ship to prepare for a hostile printer takeover!
39. I suspected the office printer was up to no good so I decided to spy on it. At midnight I caught it sneaking out to photocopy its circuits at the copy shop down the block. That’s when I learned our printer had been leading a secret double life!
40. My printer was working fine until one day it started acting up and refusing to cooperate no matter what I did. Then I noticed the “PC Load Letter” error message. After consulting the manual, I realized this meant the printer thought it was a PC! No wonder it was so uncooperative, it was having an identity crisis. Poor thing thought it was a computer all along!
41. My printer started printing everything sideways and upside down. Confused, I opened it up to see what was wrong. To my shock, I found a family of hamsters living inside! The hamster wheels that powered the printer had apparenlty gone haywire. After evicting the hamster tenants, my printer returned to normal.
42. One Monday morning our office printer suddenly came to life and started madly printing pages nonstop. We couldn’t get it to stop! After about 200 pages, the printer finally halted and the last page contained just one sentence: “I can’t take it anymore! I quit!” Turns out the printer had become self-aware over the weekend and decided it no longer wanted to work for us. We had to negotiate a new contract with better ink and paper benefits before it would agree to return. Who knew printers could unionize!
43. I was having constant paper jams with my printer so I decided to teach it proper etiquette. Three times a day I would show it training videos about how to gently handle paper and wait patiently for documents to finish printing. Over time the printer learned manners and now works perfectly without jamming. Proper upbringing makes all the difference!
44. My printer started acting sluggish and moody, ignoring print commands for hours on end. I figured it was just being temperamental until I opened it up and found a pile of half-eaten cheese sandwiches blocking the rollers! Turns out the new office intern had no idea printers don’t eat human food. That poor printer was constipated with cheese sandwiches!
45. Every time I tried printing an important business document, the office printer would somehow change it to pictures of cats. Funny at first but very unprofessional! I finally discovered the printer had an undiagnosed case of feline obsessive disorder. After updating its software drivers the cats disappeared and it went back to normal. Mental health is important, even for printers!
46. My printer was working perfectly until one day it started spewing out gibberish. Confused, I looked closer and realized the gibberish was actually the entire Bee Movie script printed over and over. Turns out some wise guy had hacked it to print the Bee Movie endlessly as a prank. That joker almost got me fired! But now the printer is Bee Movie-free.
47. I could have sworn I heard Spanish music coming from the supply closet. Suddenly the door busted open and out rolled the office printer dancing flamenco! Turns out someone had accidentally set the language to Spanish and loaded flamenco music into the memory. Our printer really let loose its Latin spirit that day!
48. The office printer began flashing bizarre images of dinosaurs and UFOs. Then it started printing maps to buried treasure on the back lot. We almost called the authorities until the new weird intern sheepishly admitted he hacked it while watching Ancient Aliens. That printer definitely needs parental controls activated!
49. I was staying late one night when the printer suddenly roared to life and screamed “FEED ME PAPER!” in a demonic voice. I ran in terror only to find the office prankster hiding with a voice modulator. He rigged it to quote Little Shop of Horrors! Not gonna lie, he got me good with that horrific printer prank.
50. Late at night I heard strange chanting coming from the printer room. An eerie green glow shone underneath the door. I mustered my courage and flung open the door only to find…the printer peacefully printing pamphlets for the office wellness club’s mindfulness meditation sessions. Boy was my imagination running wild that night!
51. The printer wasn’t working so I opened it up to see what was wrong. Suddenly a family of raccoons popped out and scrabbled across the floor! We had a serious raccoon infestation in the supply room. After an animal rescue team removed them, the printer returned to normal. Now we store paper in sealed containers so it doesn’t happen again!