Pocket Watch Puns (15)
1. I was running late to my watchmaker class, but I managed to make up for lost time.
2. My pocket watch collection is very valuable. You could say it’s priceless…unlike my regular watch collection.
3. I brought my broken pocket watch to get fixed, but the repairman said he didn’t have the time.
4. I was thinking of pawning my pocket watch collection. I figured I could make a mint!
5. Did you hear about the clockmaker who stepped in wet cement? Now he’s a hardened criminal!
6. I bought a new pocket watch but I’m having trouble keeping up with the time. It keeps running ahead of me!
7. Did you hear about the clockmaker who was arrested? Apparently he was caught TICKING boxes of watches he didn’t pay for!
8. I wanted to pawn my pocket watch collection to pay some bills. My wife talked me out of it by reminding me it was timeless.
9. I brought my broken pocket watch to get fixed, but the repairman refused. He said, “Sorry, no can do. My time costs money.”
10. Did you hear about the clockmaker who invented a device that lets him stop time? Yeah, me neither.
11. I asked my friend the clockmaker why he was acting so shifty. He said he was just trying to steal some time.
12. Did you hear about clockmaker who got arrested? The cops said he had stolen quite a bit of time.
13. Did you hear about the clockmaker who wears two watches? He likes to double check the time!
14. I wanted to pawn my watch collection but the broker said he didn’t have enough time to assess their value.
15. Did you hear about the clockmaker who got pulled over for speeding? The cop let him go with a warning to watch his speed.
Pocket Watch One-Liners (15)
16. I was late to my clock making class—looks like I ran out of time.
17. My friend is obsessed with pocket watches, you could say he’s wound a little too tight.
18. I brought my broken pocket watch to get fixed, but the guy said, “Sorry, I don’t have the time.”
19. I’d tell you a joke about clocks, but it takes too much time.
20. Did you hear about the clockmaker who loved puns? His jokes never failed to wind people up!
21. I wanted to pawn my watch collection, but the broker didn’t have enough time to assess them.
22. Did you hear about the clockmaker who got arrested? The cops said he had stolen quite a bit of time.
23. I’d tell you a clockmaking joke that I made up, but I need a minute to work on it.
24. I’ve been so busy lately that I feel like I don’t have enough minutes in the day.
25. My friend is obsessed with pocket watches—he really takes things one second at a time.
26. I got my watch collection appraised but they said the results would come in over time.
27. The clockmaker was late to a meeting because he ran out of time.
28. My friend loves clocks so much that his bedroom walls are covered with watches.
29. What time was it when the clockmaker finished his first watch? Time will tell!
30. I have too many pocket watches in my collection. My wife wishes I would wind down a bit.
Best Pocket Watch Jokes (27)
31. A man went to the watchmaker complaining that his pocket watch was running 15 minutes fast each day. The frustrated watchmaker said, “Look, I’m a very busy man. I don’t have time to listen to your fast watch story!”
32. Yesterday, I dropped my favorite pocket watch on the hard floor and it stopped working. I guess you could say it had a very timely demise.
33. I took my antique pocket watch to get repaired, but the watchmaker said, “Sorry, we don’t have enough time to fix this old thing.”
34. Whenever I buy a new pocket watch, I always look for the best deals. I guess you could say I’m a savvy minute shopper!
35. I tried telling my friend a hilarious clockmaker joke, but he didn’t give me the time of day.
36. Why did the clockmaker get arrested? He had stolen an entire minute and the cops had to make up some time to catch him!
37. I asked the clockmaker to repair my broken pocket watch, but he refused. He has no time for my antiques, only for the latest models.
38. I saved up all year to buy my dream pocket watch at an auction. When I placed the winning bid, my wife yelled, “It’s about time!”
39. I brought my vintage Swiss pocket watch for repairs, but the watchmaker took one look and said, “There’s just not enough time in the day to fix this old relic!”
40. Did you hear about the clockmaker who loved gambling? He was willing to bet hours on just about anything!
41. Did you hear about the clockmaker who had to declare bankruptcy? He simply ran out of time to pay his debts.
42. What do you call a clockmaker who is running late to his own wedding? Out of time!
43. My great-grandfather was a master clockmaker who made the most intricate pocket watches. The craft of clockmaking has been in our family for generations – you could say we come from a long line of timekeepers.
44. I took my antique Florentine pocket watch to get appraised, but the expert refused. He said it would take too long to determine if it was a priceless family heirloom or just junk.
45. The clockmaker charged me $300 just to repair a tiny gear in my pocket watch. I told my wife the bill was excessive, but she said, “It’s about time he raised his prices – he probably has no time for hobbies!”
46. Why do clockmakers make terrible party guests? Because they have no concept of time once they start talking shop!
47. What did the clock say when it was hungry? “Time to eat!”
48. Did you hear about the clockmaker who hated sweets? He was never on time for dessert.
49. I tried to pawn my watch collection to pay some pressing bills, but the broker said he didn’t have enough time to properly assess them. My wife joked, “Well, that timing is unfortunate!”
50. Why should you never trust a clockmaker with directions? They are terrible at giving you an accurate ETA!
51. My friend loves pocket watches so much that he times his daily routine down to the exact second. You could say he really treasures every minute!
52. Did you hear about the clockmaker who also loved singing? You could say he was quite the timekeeper and lyricist!
53. What do you call a watchmaker who is having a midlife crisis? Wound up too tight!
54. I took my 19th century enameled pocket watch to be appraised, but the expert refused saying valuation would take too long. My wife joked, “Well isn’t that just poor timing!”
55. Why was the clockmaker late for his dentist appointment? Because he ran out of time!
56. What do you call a watchmaker who can predict the future? A prognostic timekeeper!
57. I tried telling my friend a hilarious clockmaker joke but he refused to give me the time of day. Maybe he thought my comedic timing was off!
