Planner Puns (15)
1. I was running late to my appointment, but my planner kept me on schedule. It really planned ahead!
2. I bought a daily planner but returned it because it didn’t have enough pages. I guess I needed a year planner instead!
3. My planner is very organized but also quite demanding. It keeps telling me, “You have an appointment to keep!”
4. I love using my planner to schedule my days. You could say it helps me plan a head!
5. I wanted to throw my planner away because I thought it was useless. But then I realized that would be a waste of space!
6. I bought a planner to get organized, but now I spend all my time planning how to use my planner. It’s a vicious cycle!
7. My planner and I have a love-hate relationship. I love how organized it keeps me, but I hate that it reminds me of all my responsibilities!
8. I was going to buy a new planner, but the calendar store was completely booked up.
9. I lost my planner and I’ve been so disorganized. I’m completely lost without it!
10. I wanted to get my planner something special for Valentine’s Day to show my appreciation. I decided to get it a nice pen set!
11. My planner keeps me on track with my schedule, you could say it keeps me on the straight and narrow.
12. I spilled coffee on my planner and now some of the pages are stuck together. Talk about a latte issues!
13. My planner has so many appointments written in it, it’s basically my social calendar-dar.
14. I love my new digital planner app. It helps me plan on the go!
15. I wanted to get a tattoo of my planner on my arm but decided it would be too time consuming.
Planner One-Liners (15)
16. My planner is the only reason I show up anywhere on time.
17. I can’t find my planner – looks like I have no plans for today!
18. My planner is the most important thing in my bag – it keeps me sane!
19. I spilled coffee on my planner…there goes my social life!
20. My planner and I need some time apart – it’s becoming too clingy!
21. Without my planner, I’d probably forget my own birthday.
22. My planner is my life coach telling me to get it together every day.
23. I feel naked without my planner dictating my entire day.
24. I named my planner Monica because it is constantly telling me what to do, just like Monica from Friends!
25. My planner has better handwriting than me…how embarrassing!
26. I spilled coffee on my planner and now I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing right now!
27. My planner is the only thing keeping me from becoming a hot mess express.
28. I’m more committed to my planner than any romantic relationship I’ve had!
29. If my planner had a voice, it would constantly be yelling at me “You’re late!”
30. I treat my planner better than most people treat their pets.
Best Planner Jokes (17)
31. I was running really late to a meeting so I grabbed my planner and started sprinting there. People gave me strange looks as I ran by clutching my planner to my chest. When I finally got to the meeting completely out of breath, my coworker said “Couldn’t you have just checked the address on your phone?”
32. I decided to prank my friend by switching out the pages in her planner so all the dates were mixed up. The next day, I got a furious call from her yelling “I showed up to my dentist appointment on the wrong day and barged in while someone was getting their teeth cleaned! This is all your fault!”
33. I accidentally dropped my planner in a puddle and tried to dry it using a blow dryer. It worked at first, but then the pages started ripping and falling out. Now my planner looks like it lost a fight with a paper shredder.
34. I love my planner, but it’s falling apart because I carry it with me everywhere. The spine is held together with duct tape, half the pages are wrinkled, and there are mysterious stains on the cover that won’t come off no matter how much I scrub them. It’s disgusting, but I just can’t bring myself to get rid of it!
35. My planner is completely useless because I never actually write anything in it. The pages are blank, except for random doodles and coffee stains. The only plans I’ve managed to keep track of are dentist appointments, and that’s only because they keep calling to remind me.
36. I decided to leave my planner at home for one day and try to keep everything organized in my head. That was a huge mistake. I was late to 4 different meetings, completely forgot I was supposed to have lunch with a friend, and when someone asked me when my next deadline was, I stared at them blankly and said “Uhhh….” Never again!
37. I wrote so many things in my planner that the pages started ripping from the spiral binding. So I decided to reinforce it with industrial-strength duct tape. Now my planner is nearly indestructible, but it weighs 5 lbs and barely fits in my bag. Oh well, at least all my appointments are secure!
38. I was in a rush and accidentally grabbed my 2022 planner instead of my 2023 one. When I got to my doctor’s appointment, the receptionist said “Sorry, but we don’t have you down for today.” Flustered, I stammered “That’s impossible, I double-checked my planner!”
39. My planner is completely filled with color-coded sticky notes, washi tape, and inspirational quotes. There’s so much stuff attached to each page that you can barely see the calendar underneath. It looks like a unicorn threw up on it, but this system works for me!
40. I decided to pencil in some “me time” in my planner for self-care. That evening, when I informed my husband I would be taking a relaxing bath alone, he looked confused and said “But it’s family game night…we talked about this last week!” Oops.
41. I write all my planner entries in code so others can’t understand it. Like doctor appointments become “Feed the cat” and conference calls become “Water the plants.” It’s effective, but now everyone thinks I have 100 cats and a rainforest in my apartment.
42. My goal was to color coordinate my planner for maximum organizational bliss. But apparently “bliss” means frantically scribbling in events and using whatever color pen is closest. My planner is a neon rainbow mess of stress!
43. I decided to make DIY planner stickers to spice things up. They were cute at first, but then I got carried away. Now my planner is 80% stickers, and I can’t even read the dates underneath. Productivity has never looked so chaotic!
44. I planned a beach day in my planner months in advance. When the day finally arrived, I jumped out of bed, slathered on sunscreen, and drove to the beach…only to find it was 50 degrees and pouring rain. My planner betrayed me!
45. My planner: “You have a dentist appointment at 2pm today.”
Me at 2:05pm: “Sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find my planner to check the time!”
46. I decided to use my planner as a drink coaster while studying. Now the pages are bloated and wrinkly, causing a catastrophic ink smear across the entire month of March. The aftermath was not pretty.
47. I was running late to work so I sprinted out the door, leaving my planner open on the kitchen counter. When I got home, my dog had chewed up the planner and used the shreds as a bed. I think Fluffy was sending me a message about being on time.
