Paper towels Puns
1. I asked the cashier where the paper towels were, but he just shrugged. I guess he wanted to keep it under raps.
2. My friend was telling me about his new workout routine, but I wasn’t impressed. I told him he needed to up his reps if he wanted to see real gains.
3. I entered my dog in an ugly dog contest, but he didn’t win. I guess the judges didn’t find his wraps appealing.
4. The mob boss threatened to wrap me in paper towels if I didn’t pay back the money I owed. I knew he wasn’t just rapping.
5. I asked the waiter to bring me more paper towels since my table was a mess. He said, “No prob, I’ll grab you some more raps.”
6. My friend got a job at the paper towel factory, but quit after the first day. He said the work was too repetitive.
7. I entered a rap battle, but got beat bad. I guess my rhymes needed more wraps.
8. I tried to make money by selling counterfeit paper towels, but got caught by the cops. Now I’m facing rep raps.
9. I was nervous about my big rap performance, so I brought some paper towels on stage in case I needed to wipe my wraps.
10. I spilled water all over the counter, so I reached for a paper towel. My wife said, “Good raps!”
11. I bought a paper towel with famous rap lyrics printed on it. You could say it was a rap wrap.
12. I entered a competitive eating contest but lost. I guess I didn’t prepare enough by eating more wraps.
Paper towels One-liners
13. Don’t cry over spilled milk, just reach for a paper towel.
14. Paper towels – for when you want to turn small spills into large trash.
15. Save money on napkins by just using paper towels instead.
16. Never rob a paper towel factory, the cops will throw the book at you for stealing reams.
17. My paper towel addiction got so bad I had to check into rehab.
18. If you run out of tissues, paper towels make a decent backup.
19. Paper towels – helping clumsy people clean up after themselves since 1907.
20. Save the earth, conserve paper towels by only using 10 sheets per spill.
21. Paper towels don’t grow on trees, you know. Oh wait, they kinda do.
22. Bounty – the quicker picker upper, unless you buy the cheap generic brand.
Best Paper towels Jokes
23. I accidentally spoiled the ending of Paper Towels: The Movie for my friend. He got so mad he threw his popcorn at me! I guess I should have kept my lips sealed.
24. My son said he wanted to be a paper towel when he grew up. I told him not to limit himself to just that – he could be a whole roll!
25. Did you hear about the celebrity paper towel? It was known for its tearability.
26. Did you hear about the paper towel who was a picky eater? He only ate shredded wheat.
27. What do you call a paper towel with a cold? Tissue.
28. Why don’t eggs tell jokes to paper towels? Because they’d crack each other up!
29. Why can’t paper towels get married? Because they have commitment issues!
30. My friend kept bragging about how strong his paper towels were. I told him to quit flexing his Bounty.
31. What do you call a paper towel that works as a chauffeur? A cab-ber towel!
32. Why do paper towels make bad shoes? Because they always get your feet wet!
33. Did you hear about the paper towel who won the lottery? He’s rolling in dough now!
34. What did the mama paper towel say to her baby? You’ve grown up so fast – it seems like just yesterday you were a wee Bounty!
35. Why are paper towels so popular at summer barbecues? Because everyone is just dying to soak up their grill skills!
36. Did you hear about the paper towel that got drafted into the NBA? He was known for his rebounds.
37. Why don’t eggs tell secrets around paper towels? Because they don’t want to be overheard!
38. Did you hear about the paper towel that traveled through time? He went back to the past to stop the spill that started it all!
39. What do you get when you cross a paper towel with a vampire? The nosferatu!
40. Why don’t paper towels make good comedians? Because their material is tearable!
41. Did you hear about the paper towel who never wanted to share anything? He was very absorbent.
42. Why was the paper towel sweating so much at the job interview? He was nervous about spillin’ the beans!
43. What did the T. rex say after using a paper towel? This sure came in handy!
44. Why do paper towels make terrible gift wrappers? They always leave everything exposed!
45. What do you call a paper towel that’s been knighted by the Queen? Sir Bounce-a-lot!
46. Why don’t cats mess with paper towels? Because they know those Bounties are quick to pounce back!
47. What do you get when you cross a paper towel with an elephant? A huge mess to clean up!
48. Why was the paper towel embarrassed about his childhood? Because he used to be such a Brawny kid!
49. Why did the paper towel cross the road? To get to the other side dry!
