Paperclip Puns
1. I bought some new paperclips to hold my papers together, but they ended up being a bit bent out of shape.
2. I told my co-worker that the paper clips on my desk were for organizational purposes only. She said, “Sounds like you’re pretty clipped on how they can be used!”
3. I was searching all over for a paper clip to hold my documents together. My friend said, “Sounds like you’re in a real bind!”
4. I tried to use a giant paper clip to hold my papers together, but it just made a huge mess. I should have known it would be a colossal clip job!
5. I bought some jumbo-sized paper clips to organize my documents, but they were so big I could barely clip them onto the paper.
6. I decided to buy some designer paper clips shaped like animals to spice up my office supplies. My co-workers said I was clipy!
7. I tried asking a paper clip to organize my documents, but it just sat there silently. I guess it wasn’t very clippy.
8. I was in a hurry and grabbed the wrong end of the paper clip and it snagged my finger. That clipped my day short.
9. I bought neon colored paper clips so I could find important documents easily. My boss said it looked like my desk was having a color clip explosion.
10. I tried using paper clips to build a small sculpture on my desk. My co-workers said I needed to stop goofing off and get back to clipping papers together.
Paperclip One-Liners
11. I was going to organize my papers with paper clips, but the idea just didn’t clip with me.
12. I bought a box of paper clips but there was only one inside, talk about getting ripped off!
13. I tried to use a paper clip as a weapon during a Nerf gun fight, but I quickly realized that was a weak attack.
14. I straightened out all my paper clips hoping it would help straighten out my life too, but no such luck.
15. I swallowed a paper clip and my doctor said I should be fine, but it still makes me feel a little bent out of shape.
16. I broke my finger trying to bend 100 paper clips at once, talk about stupid injuries!
17. I got chased down the street by a giant animated paper clip. Just another weird dream.
18. I used two small paper clips as earrings, but it turns out that style is just for clips.
19. I grabbed the wrong end of a paper clip and it drew blood, that thing can be dangerously sharp!
20. I tried to pick a lock with a paper clip like they do in movies, but I just ended up looking foolish.
Best Paperclip Jokes
21. I was trying to organize a huge stack of documents and ran out of paper clips, so I tried using a single cooked spaghetti noodle instead. It worked great until I spilled coffee on everything and ended up with an even bigger mess. I guess that’s what I get for using pasta clips!
22. My co-worker asked me to grab a box of paper clips from the supply closet. I accidentally grabbed glue sticks instead. When I got back to my desk, my co-worker was annoyed and said “I can’t stick these in papers and hold them together!”
23. I was looking for a paper clip to hold my stacks of papers together, so I decided to open up a stapler and take the staples out since they are basically straight paper clips. My manager saw what I was doing and yelled “You can’t use staples as paper clips!” I said “But it’s literally the same thing!” He said “No deviations! Use real paper clips only!”
24. I bought an extra large box of jumbo paper clips to use as makeshift bookends. When my friend saw them she laughed and said “Do you really need that many to hold up a couple books?” I said “Yeah, but think of all the extra large documents I can organize!” She just rolled her eyes and walked away.
25. I decided to get creative and use a carabiner to hold my papers together instead of a regular paper clip. It worked great until my co-worker saw it and said “Why do you need industrial strength gear just to organize papers!?” I replied “This isn’t just a carabiner, it’s a portable paper clip!”
26. I was trying to fix my glasses with a paper clip but accidentally hooked it through my nose instead. My co-worker saw me and gasped “Whoa, that’s one extreme nose piercing!” I rolled my eyes and said “Har har, very funny. Can you help me get this thing off my nose please!?”
27. I used two large paper clips to pin back the sides of my hair into a makeshift barrette. My manager saw me and said “Please remove those unprofessional accessories from your hair immediately!” Embarrassed, I took the paper clips out and my hair fell into my face. Note to self – invest in real hair clips!
28. I straightened out a paper clip and used it as a mini toothpick after lunch. My co-worker saw me and looked grossed out. “That is not what the office supplies are for!” he scolded. I said “Hey, sometimes you need a toothpick in a pinch!” He just shook his head and walked away.
29. I accidentally swallowed a paper clip and my co-workers insisted I go to the ER. But I Googled it and WebMD said I would be fine. Even when I started turning green and magnets stuck to me, my boss still wouldn’t let me leave work early. I guess I learned the hard way that you should always trust your instincts over the internet!
30. I tried to make a piece of paper clip art by bending a paper clip into different shapes like a house, heart, cat etc. My co-worker saw my paper clip sculptures and said “Don’t you have more important work to do!?” I sheepishly put them away, but made sure to take a picture first to keep my tiny masterpieces forever!
31. I used a giant paper clip to pin up my poster presentation in the conference room. My manager walked by and yelled “Take that monstrosity down immediately! This is a professional workspace, not your bedroom!” Now I know the maximum size for acceptable office paper clips.
32. I accidentally used permanent marker on the white board and tried cleaning it off with a bent paper clip. My boss saw the mess I was making and yelled “Stop scratching up the board with that metal monstrosity!” Now I have to buy a new dry erase board. That’ll teach me not to use real whiteboard cleaner next time.
33. I used two jumbo paper clips as makeshift earrings. My supervisor said “Take those unprofessional dangly things off immediately!” I refused, insisting they were my new favorite jewelry. We got into a heated argument until security finally escorted me out. Who knew paperclip earrings could cause so much drama!?
34. I straightened out a paper clip and used it as a tiny catapult to fling rubber bands across the office. My manager came storming in yelling “Who launched an elastic assault!? This is completely inappropriate!” I slowly sank down in my seat and put the paper clip away. Busted.
35. I got bored during a meeting and made a miniature slingshot using a rubber band and paper clip. I started firing paper balls across the conference table much to the annoyance of my co-workers. The manager yelled “Enough! Paper clip slingshots are strictly prohibited!” I guess my amateur stationery warfare wasn’t appreciated.
36. I pretended a bent out paper clip was a little bow and arrow and “shot” it at my co-workers to get their attention. My boss did not find my make-believe archery amusing however, and scolded me for inappropriate office antics. My paper clip bow has been confiscated until I learn to use office supplies responsibly.
37. I straightened out a paper clip and picked the lock on the supply closet to steal some pens and sticky notes. Suddenly the manager appeared behind me yelling “Aha! I caught you red-handed!” Now I’m banned from the supply closet for misusing office materials for lock picking purposes.
38. I used two large paper clips to pin my hair up in a bun. The office manager walked by and said “Your hairdo is completely unprofessional, remove those ridiculous metal objects at once!” Reluctantly I took them out as my hair fell messily around my face. I guess paperclips won’t be replacing my hair ties anytime soon.
39. I linked together tons of paperclips to make metal chainmail armor to wear to the office Halloween party. My boss took one look at me and said “Take off that bizarre and dangerous costume immediately!” So much for trying to be creative with office supplies for my costume.
40. I pretended a large paper clip was a knight’s sword and had an epic battle with my coworker’s pen. Our loud clashing noises disturbed everyone in the office. The manager came over yelling “Stop that pretend sword fighting right now!” He confiscated our paper clip and pen weapons. I guess we got a little too into our imagination.
41. I straightened out a jumbo paper clip and used it as a secret coffee stirrer all week. When my boss eventually found out, he screamed “How many times have I told you not to reuse office supplies for personal use!?” Now I have to buy my own box of stirrers. I’ll really miss that giant paper clip stirrer.
42. I used a small paper clip to try and dislodge a piece of stuck food between my teeth. My supervisor walked by and yelled “Stop that right now! Office supplies are not for dental hygiene!” I was so embarrassed I just tossed the paper clip straight into the trash. Note to self – floss don’t “clip”!
43. I pretended a bent paperclip was a wacky looking earring and wore it to a big client meeting. As soon as the executives saw it, they started whispering to each other and staring. My boss angrily pulled me aside and said “Take that unprofessional disaster off immediately!” My paperclip fashion risks definitely backfired.