As I reflect on my upcoming wedding, I’m reminded of the people and things that make me happy – a supportive sister, dear friends, and of course, beautiful dresses. But despite these lovely elements, my fiancé and I have decided to forego traditional bridal parties. As an editor for a wedding blog, I’ve seen this trend gaining popularity, and I’d like to share our reasons for skipping the tradition. Some couples may feel pressured to include siblings or friends in their party, fearing they’ll disappoint others if they don’t. Others might assume it’s necessary for the lead-up to the big day. My fiancé, Mark, and I, however, believe that our loved ones will be there for us, offering support and assistance whenever we need it. While I understand the appeal of having a group of close friends by your side on your special day, we’ve chosen not to follow this path. Instead, we’re focusing on the aspects of wedding planning that bring us joy and are more meaningful to us as individuals.
I Simply Can’t Choose
I’m one of the lucky ones who can confidently say that their friends are the best in the world. My squad is made up of incredible college friends, an amazing sister, and a best friend from my teenage years – she’s like a second sister to me. What I love most about them is that they’re all about supporting each other, not just me. They’ve been there for me through thick and thin, showering me with love and care when I needed it most. Take my friends’ thoughtful gestures, for instance. They’ve sent me flowers on a tough day, flown across the country to be by my side, and always know exactly what to say to lift my spirits. It’s not just one or two people who make up this amazing network; it’s a collective of awesome individuals who have come together to form an incredible support system. And that’s something I’m truly grateful for.
We Want Informality
The vision for our special day is simple: an intimate, laid-back celebration with friends. We’ve opted for a more relaxed approach, with our friend officiating and guests mingling around shared tables. The menu will feature BBQ fare, rather than the traditional formalities of champagne toasts. In keeping with our easy-going nature, we’re embracing a more casual atmosphere – no stuffy titles or rigid formations needed here. By shedding some of the traditional wedding expectations, we’re creating an event that truly reflects our personalities and relationships.
I Want My Friends to Just Relax at my Wedding
As we’ve discussed our wedding plans with friends who excel in various creative fields, one thing is clear: we’re keen on keeping things low-key and stress-free. Our videographer friend has already expressed interest in capturing some special moments on camera, but aside from a few heartfelt readings and soulful tunes during the ceremony, we’d like to keep professional appearances to a minimum. We want our friends to arrive at the wedding without any prior knowledge of what’s in store, allowing them to fully immerse themselves in the celebration. After all, when you’re part of the bridal party, the excitement can sometimes be dampened by knowing every detail beforehand. As someone who’s had the privilege of being a bridesmaid, I understand the value of this role, but it also takes away from the element of surprise. With that in mind, we’re mindful not to burden our friends with too many responsibilities or tasks that might detract from their own experiences on the day. We want them to be able to simply relax and enjoy the celebration without having to worry about last-minute errands or preparations.
We’re a Scattered Bunch
We’re a globally dispersed bunch – Mark and I reside in London, while many friends are scattered across Dublin, Amsterdam, Vietnam, and Greece, where my sister calls home. While the idea of spontaneous shopping sprees or gin-fueled crafting sessions sounds like a dream, it’s simply not logistically possible for our little tribe to gather at whim.
This isn’t necessarily the reason why I don’t want to burden my friends with wedding duties, but rather an opportunity to cherish the moments we do share. By doing so, I get to forge meaningful connections that extend beyond the wedding planning process.
Not Everyone Loves Being a Bridesmaid
As I stood beside the happy couple on their special day, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own experience as a bridesmaid. It was an incredible honor to be part of the celebration, and I reveled in every moment of it. But I knew not everyone shared my passion for weddings. While my friends were excited for me, they also had their own lives filled with adventure, career milestones, and family joys. I made a conscious effort not to let wedding talk consume our conversations, ensuring that we all stayed connected and celebrated each other’s triumphs, from new jobs to baby arrivals. It was a delicate balance, but one that allowed us to cherish the joy of my own special day without making others feel like they were stuck in a never-ending cycle of wedding chat.
I Want to Get Ready with my Fiance
As I prepare for my own wedding day, I’m reminded of my anxiety-inducing experiences getting ready with others. The thought of having friends or family watching me have my makeup done or step into my dress sends shivers down my spine. For me, the idea of a chaotic dressing room filled with blow dryers and excited chatter is pure panic. In contrast, my husband-to-be and I are looking forward to a relaxed pre-wedding routine, free from cameras and bridal parties. We’ll put on some music, grab a drink, and get ready in the comfort of our own company. The thought of it can’t come soon enough!
Not Reasons I’m Not Having Bridesmaids!
The absence of bridesmaids doesn’t always mean a couple has made a drastic decision. In fact, there are valid reasons why some couples might choose not to have them by their side on their special day. While these reasons may be different from the ones we’ll explore in this post, it’s essential to understand that every choice is unique and personal.
It’s Saving us a Packet
When considering the costs involved in having a bridal party, let’s take the example of four bridesmaids and four groomsmen. Assuming each dress or suit costs £100, that’s already a significant £800 before we factor in additional expenses like shoes, flowers, hair and makeup, buttonholes, gifts, and transportation. It’s clear that the cost adds up quickly.
While the financial burden may be a concern for some couples, I believe that creative problem-solving can help find ways to make it more manageable. However, if you’re envisioning a traditional or classic wedding, it’s understandable that budget constraints might lead couples to reconsider having a bridal party altogether.
Our Friends Have Different Styles
While I understand the appeal of uniformed bridesmaids, my personal preference leans towards a more eclectic approach. My friends’ diverse styles are what make our group unique, and forcing them into matching dresses would only stifle their individuality. Each of my friends has their own distinct aesthetic – some adore bold patterns and statement pieces, while others prefer understated simplicity. Some guys opt for sleek suits, while others rock a more casual look. Rather than trying to conform to a uniform standard, I think it’s wonderful to celebrate these differences. By embracing our diverse styles, we can create an atmosphere that’s truly authentic and reflective of who we are.
We’re Worried About Speeches
While some couples may choose to forego a bridal party due to concerns about inappropriate comments or unwanted speeches, our approach is the opposite. We’re not looking to burden one or two individuals with all the pressure of making remarks, yet we’re also aware that many guests would love the opportunity to share a few words in celebration of our special day. To strike a balance between these two perspectives, we’ve decided to adopt an open-mic format for a limited time. This way, anyone who wants to make a toast can do so without feeling obligated, allowing us to share in the joy and sentimentality of the occasion without placing undue pressure on any one person.