Mermaids Puns (15)
- What do you call a mermaid who always tells the truth? An honest fin.
- What do you call a mermaid who loves math? A nerdy mer-median.
- Why don’t mermaids wear socks? Because they have fins.
- What do you call a mermaid that just got married? A mer-missus.
- What did the mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra.
- Where do mermaids see movies? At the dive-in theater.
- What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide.
- What do you call a sick mermaid? A coughish.
- Why don’t mermaids live in salt water? It’s too sodium chloride.
- What do you call a mermaid from outer space? An alien fin.
- What do you call a mermaid detective? Sherlock Fins.
- What do mermaids wash their hair with? Starfish shampoo.
- What’s a mermaid’s favorite TV show? Gilligan’s Island.
- What’s a mermaid’s favorite snack? Sashimini.
- What do you call a mermaid’s home? An a-fish-iancy.
Mermaids One-liners (15)
- I tried playing scrabble with a mermaid but she kept making up words that don’t exist.
- You know what a mermaid’s favorite farm animal is? A goatfish.
- I saw a mermaid wearing high heels today. I guess she just wanted to dress fin-cy.
- What do mermaids wash their clothes with? Tide pods.
- Did you hear about the mermaid who got bad grades? She was failing fin-tasticly.
- A mermaid’s brain is located in her fins. That’s why she’s always finsmart.
- What do you call a mermaid that graduated high school? A smarty fin.
- How does a mermaid call a dolphin? On her shellphone.
- Did you hear about the mermaid who went to art school? She majored in fin art.
- Why don’t mermaids wear life jackets? They have their own natural flotation devices.
- What do you get when you cross a mermaid and a centaur? A seahorse.
- I took a mermaid to Red Lobster but she kept complaining about the lack of sushi.
- Did you hear about the mermaid who bought a boat? It helps with her daily chores and erands.
- What did the mermaid get on her SATs? High fins!
- My friend claims she saw a mermaid at the aquarium, but I think she’s just fishing for compliments.
Best Mermaid Jokes (43)
1. A mermaid decided to visit her family on shore for the holidays. When she arrived at the airport, she was stopped by security because she set off the metal detector. Embarrassed, the mermaid finally admitted she had hidden some clamshells in her bra. The security guard shook his head and said, “Ma’am, you should know better than to cachet those coconuts!”
2. What do you call a mermaid who just had a baby? A mommy maid!
3. Why don’t mermaids wear bikinis? Because they look better in shells!
4. What’s a mermaid’s favorite TV show? The Unfinned.
5. What do you call a mermaid in a wheelchair? Sally the hardly swimming mermaid.
6. Where do mermaids go to see movies? The dive-in theater!
7. What do you call a mermaid that can’t swim? Dead.
8. Why don’t mermaids water ski? Because their fins don’t fit in the boots!
9. What did the mermaid say to the shark? Long time no sea!
10. How do mermaids communicate? By shellphone of course!
11. What’s a mermaid’s favorite musical note? Sea Sharp!
12. What did the mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra.
13. Where do mermaids see movies? At the dive in!
14. Why don’t mermaids eat lobster? Because they’re shellfish!
15. What’s a mermaid’s favorite school subject? Oceanography!
16. What do you call a sleeping mermaid? A nappy!
17. What’s the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
18. What’s a mermaid’s favorite sauce? Tartar!
19. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
20. What’s a mermaid’s favorite pet? A catfish!
21. What do you get when you cross a mermaid and a jellyfish? A mermelly!
22. Why don’t mermaids wear makeup? Because they’re too proud of their natural sea beauty!
23. What’s it called when a mermaid cries? A sea sob!
24. Did you hear about the shy mermaid? She was a little shellfish!
25. What do you call a sleeping mermaid? A nappy!
26. Why don’t mermaids ever get colds? They have blubber immunity!
27. What do you call a mermaid’s home? An a-fish-iancy!
28. What’s a mermaid’s favorite snack? Sashimini!
29. Why don’t mermaids ever get off Facebook? Because they’re so addicted to their friendship bracelets!
30. How do you get wrinkles out of a mermaid’s tail? Use a sea iron!
31. What do you call a mermaid detective? Sherlock Fins!
32. Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because sea shells are too small!
33. Why can’t mermaids rollerblade? Because they have fin-kers instead of fingers!
34. What do you call a mermaid who’s a total jerk? A mer-meanie!
35. Why don’t mermaids scuba dive? It ruins their sea hair!
36. What’s a mermaid’s favorite hobby? Netflicking!
37. Why don’t mermaids use iPods? Because they like their undersea tunes!
38. How do mermaids stay connected? With kelp from their friends!
39. What did the mermaid say to her suitor? Not so fast, I’m playing hard to get hooked!
40. What do you call a mermaid’s assets? Shell-f worth!
41. What do you call a mermaid who loves raves? A party finner!
42. What do you call two mermaid friends? BFFs (Best Fintastic Friends!)
43. Why don’t mermaids ever win at hide and seek? Because they’re always getting caught in nets!
