What do you call an environmentally friendly superhero? Captain Planet!
Why was the hippie sad after painting his house? He felt down since he had the green blues.
My friend got angry when I told him to eat more vegetables. I guess he didn’t want any more green beans.
The leprechaun started charging people to get into his house. He was making a lot of green off of green.
I entered my eco-friendly car into a race. It did pretty well but wasn’t able to take the green flag.
My roommate bought new green sheets for his bed. Now his bedroom gives me green envy.
The environmentalist was fired from his banking job because he was caught green-handing money.
I bought some environmentally friendly trash bags. My friends accused me of greenwashing our waste situation.
My cousin worshipped the Hulk because he was green with envy over his muscles.
The jealous gardener turned green with envy looking at his neighbor’s lush green garden.
I was green with envy when I saw my friend’s new emerald ring. It sparkled like a green diamond.
The Irish man was green with envy when he saw how many green beers his friend was drinking.
My environmentalist friend installed solar panels to get green energy for his home.
The LEED certified house was filled with green materials like bamboo floors and low VOC paint.
I bought my girlfriend some green tea candles for a relaxing, eco-friendly evening.
The festival had a Bring Your Own Cup station with infused green waters like cucumber-mint.
I decorated my bedroom with green accent walls and plants for an earthy vibe.
My friend was green with nausea after eating too much wasabi at the sushi restaurant.
Green One-Liners (21)
My friend wanted to be more eco-friendly, so he bought a green vehicle and named it the Jolly Green Giant.
I’m so eco-friendly, my friends call me Greenpeace.
Want an eco-friendly ride? Try the cabbage car, it runs on vegetable oil.
My environmentalist friend wears green from head to toe – she’s a real green giant.
Need some green living tips? Just ask the Jolly Green Giant.
Want to go green? Swap your lawn for a vegetable garden – it’s eco and delicious.
Why was the leprechaun arrested? For greenwashing his gold coins!
Need an eco-friendly beer? Try a green lager, it’s brewed sustainably.
What do you call an environmentalist’s baby? A little green sprout!
How does the Hulk keep his energy bills low? He gets bulk discounts on green power.
Why was the alien green? He ate too much kale and turned into an eco-warrior.
What’s an environmentalist’s favorite exercise? Going for green jogs.
How does an eco-friendly superhero travel? By green machine, of course!
What did the green tomato say to the rotten tomato? Want to join me for some clean living?
Why was the environmentalist upset at the party? Because it wasn’t green enough.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A green machine, of course!
Why was the laundry detergent arrested? For money greenwashing.
My friend loves St.Patrick’s Day – she goes green head to toe in emerald clothes.
What’s an environmentalist’s favorite genre of music? Green Day, naturally.
Why do leprechauns make great bankers? They know how to handle greenbacks.
What’s the Jolly Green Giant’s favorite fruit? Green grapes, they’re colossal!
Best Green Jokes (30)
One day, a leprechaun knocked on my door trying to sell me shamrocks. I said, “Sorry, I’m not interested.” He got angry and shouted, “What’s wrong with you? Don’t you have any green spirit?”
My friend entered an art contest with a painting of a green alien drinking green tea in a green meadow under a green sky. The judges took one look and said, “Wow, that’s ultra green!”
On St. Patrick’s day, I tried to woo my crush by decorating my room green. I put up green streamers, lit green candles, and wore a green suit. When she came over, she took one look and said, “I appreciate the gesture but green really isn’t my color.”
I entered my eco-friendly house into a green living competition. It has solar panels, veggie garden, energy-saving lights. The judges were impressed and said, “Out of all the entries, your house is the greenest!”
During a picnic, my friend ate a rotten sandwich and turned green. I said “Uh oh, looks like someone is about to hulk out!” He smiled and said, “No way, I just ate too many green peppers.”
On Earth day, my environmentalist neighbor knocked on my door campaigning about going green. He ranted about climate change, fossil fuels, deforestation. After an hour, I had to interrupt him saying, “Look, I care about the earth too but this is too much green talk for me!”
For my birthday, my eco-conscious girlfriend bought me a basket of green items – avocado soap, green tea, kale chips, cactus plant. I appreciated the gesture but told her “Babe, next year could I get something that isn’t green for a change?”
My friend joined an environmentalist group that took green living to the extreme. They only wear green clothes, eat green veggies, use green transport. My friend’s new green lifestyle is admirable but seems excessive.
On St. Patrick’s day, we went to an Irish pub for green beer and food. My friend drank too many green lagers and got totally drunk. He stood up on a table yelling “Everyone quiet down! I need to make a green speech!”
At my friend’s costume party, I dressed from head to toe in green as the Jolly Green Giant. With my green face paint, green wig and padding to look huge, I looked ready to lead an eco-friendly vegetable revolution.
For April Fool’s day, I pranked my environmentalist friend by filling his entire house with green balloons and streamers when he was out. When he came home, he laughed and said “Good one! This place looks greener than an ogre’s house.”
On Earth day, I asked my green-minded crush on a date saying, “Want to be eco-friendly together and carpool to the environmental fair?” She laughed and said, “Nice try, but I’m looking for more than just a green buddy.”
At my friend’s costume party, I came dressed as the green M&M. I painted myself green, wore a big green M on my shirt and handed out green candy. People kept asking if I was promoting green living or just green candy.
For my environmentalist friend’s birthday, I made her a cake with green frosting and wrote “Happy Green Day!” on it. She blew out the candles, made a wish, and said “I wished for a greener world and for everyone to reduce their carbon footprint.”
On St. Patrick’s Day, I stopped by the pub for a green pint and ran into my eco-warrior friend dressed head-to-toe in green drinking a big green beer. He shouted “Get into the green spirit! Today, we’re all Irish environmentalists!”
My friend got food poisoning from some bad guacamole. He started turning green and running to the bathroom to be sick. I laughed and said “Don’t worry, your sickness is totally green. Think of it as you eliminating your ecological footprint!”
For my friend’s alien-themed party, I painted myself green and told people I was an environmentalist alien warning earthlings to go green or else! People got a kick out of my little green extraterrestrial spreading an intergalactic message about climate change.
On Earth day my environmentalist friend gave a long speech about saving the planet, going green, and reducing your ecological footprint. Afterwards I said, “Great speech! If this environmentalist thing doesn’t work out, you could always get a job as a green motivational speaker.”
My hippie neighbor knocked on my door trying to get signatures for an environmental petition. He ranted about greenhouse gases, fossil fuels, pollution. After listening for 30 minutes, I finally interrupted saying, “I’m on board with this green movement, but next time open with something lighter!”
For April Fool’s Day I replaced all my roommate’s white milk with green food coloring. The next morning he stumbled to the fridge, poured himself a glass and yelled “Yuck, the milk’s gone bad, it’s completely green!” I couldn’t stop laughing at his reaction to my hilarious green prank.
On Earth day, I asked my environmentalist friend “What are you doing to celebrate?” He said “I’m throwing a green party with eco-friendly decor, sustainability trivia, and only plant-based food.” I responded “That sounds nice…but how about we just go for a hike instead?”
For St. Patrick’s Day I made green pancakes for my family’s breakfast. My daughter smiled and said “I love green pancakes!” while my son complained “Eww, I wanted regular ones, these look like moldy alien pancakes!” Oh well, you can’t please everyone when you’re trying to get in the Irish green spirit.
For Halloween, I dressed up as the Green Goblin from Spiderman. I painted myself completely green and made a mask and outfit to look just like the character. All night people yelled “Hey Green Goblin! Do you want to destroy Spiderman or spread an environmentalist message?”
On Earth Day I asked my girlfriend “Want to celebrate by going on a green hike?” She rolled her eyes and said “How about we just spend time together without making everything about your environmentalist obsession?” Oops, guess I need to tone down the green movement talk with her.
My friend threw a green St. Patrick’s Day party with green beer, food, and decorations everywhere. Within an hour, everyone was drunk on green beer and getting sick from too much green candy. Maybe next year he’ll remember moderation is key, even on the greenest Irish day of the year.
For St. Patrick’s day I made my whole family green pancakes for breakfast. My little daughter smiled and loved them but my teenage son took one bite and gagged saying “Gross, dad! You’re such an environmentalist weirdo sometimes.” Oh well, can’t win them all over with holiday green food.
On Earth Day, my girlfriend made me a cake with green icing that said “I Love You Greenly.” I gave her a hug and said “This is really sweet, but maybe tone down the green a bit? I care about the environment, but I don’t want it to define our entire relationship.”
