Garlic Puns
- What do you call garlic that’s afraid of the dark? Scared-lic!
- Why was the garlic asked to leave the dance party? It kept causing a stink.
- How did the garlic win the race? It used its cloves.
- Why was the garlic dressed so fancy? It was going on a date.
- What instrument does garlic play in a band? The gar-lick.
- How does garlic keep its breath fresh? With gar-mints.
- Why don’t vampires like Italian food? Too much garlic bread.
- What do you call a garlic that works as a spy? A gar-lick agent.
- Why did the garlic get arrested? It was caught peeling onions.
- Why are vampires so pale? They’re afraid of a suntan from the gar-light.
Garlic One-Liners
- Garlic breath: An effective mosquito repellent.
- I don’t have bad breath, I’m just marinating from the inside out.
- Garlic ice cream: For when you want to taste something for days.
- Garlic knots: Little bits of heaven.
- Garlic powder: Turning bland into grand.
- Garlic bread: The fastest way to vampire’s hearts.
- Roses are red, garlic makes your breath kick, they stink up the room, but taste so delicious.
- Garlic: Proof that too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
- Garlic powder: sprinkle a little love on everything.
- Garlic: You can never use too much.
Best Garlic Jokes
21. What did the chef say to the misbehaving garlic? You better shape up, or you’ll be toast!
22. Why did the vampire refuse to eat the garlic bread? He wanted to keep his coffin habits.
23. What do you call a vampire who only eats garlic? A weirdo-clove.
24. Why don’t Italians get embarrassed when they eat garlic? Because it’s their heritage and they’re proud of it!
25. How can you spot a vampire at an Italian restaurant? They’re the one with bleeding gums because they accidentally ate garlic.
26. Why does Dracula hate Italian food? He ends up with one heck of a bellyache after eating all that garlic!
27. Why do vampires make bad Uber drivers? They have to avoid houses with garlic hanging by the door.
28. How do you know if a vampire has a cold? They start coughing up garlic cloves.
29. Why don’t vampires ever win at Hide and Seek? Garlic breath gives them away every time.
30. Why was the vampire asked to leave the Italian restaurant? He kept sending back orders, saying “Take this garlic away!”
31. I entered my garlic bread recipe in a cooking contest but it didn’t win. The judges told me it wasn’t breadditworthy.
32. What do you call a garlic that’s also a private detective? Sher-clove Garlicson.
33. Why don’t vampires go grocery shopping? They can’t stand the garlic section.
34. What’s a vampire’s least favorite pasta sauce? Anything with extra garlic.
35. Why do vampires make great lawyers? They know how to get rid of excess garlic charges.
36. Did you hear about the new Netflix show starring a cooking vampire? It’s called Garlic’s Anatomy.
37. Why don’t vampires ever donate blood? It’s full of garlic!
38. How can you tell if a vampire has been staying at your place? All your garlic goes missing from the fridge!
39. What’s a vampire’s favorite sport? Clove-diving.
40. Why don’t vampires watch cooking shows? They can’t stand the sight of garlic being chopped.
