Elephant Puns (10)
- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? Irrelephant.
- Why do elephants have trunks? Because they’d look silly with suitcases.
- What’s an elephant’s favorite snack? Peanut butter and jellaphants.
- How do elephants get down from trees? They don’t, they get down from elephants.
- What do you give an elephant with big feet? Plenty of room.
- How do you fit four elephants into a car? Two in the front, two in the backseat.
- What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino!
- Why are elephants wrinkled? Have you ever tried to iron one?
Elephant One-Liners (10)
- I’m not saying elephants are fat, but the last time one jumped it got stuck.
- Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife.
- My ex got mad at me for saying she looked like an elephant. So I said, “Okay, you don’t look like an elephant.”
- How does an elephant hide in a strawberry patch? It paints its toenails red.
- What’s grey on the outside and pink on the inside? An elephant in a bread costume.
- I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an elephant.
- I was going to tell a joke about elephants, but it would just be irrelephant.
- What’s grey, endangered, and irrelevant? An elephant telling jokes about the latest celebrity gossip.
- I’d tell you a joke about elephants, but it needs to be made more PG13.
- What did the elephant say to the nude man? “Hey, it’s cute but can you breathe through that thing?”
Best Elephant Jokes (84)
1. What did the elephant say when he saw a naked man? How do you breathe through something so small?
2. Why don’t elephants ride bicycles? They don’t have a thumb to ring the bell.
3. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale? A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
4. What do you call an elephant that flies? A jumbo jet.
5. What’s grey, African and charges? An elephant’s cell phone bill.
6. Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in strawberry patches without being seen.
7. What do you call a 3 headed elephant? A pachy-derm-i-gorgan.
8. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck.
9. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
10. How do you know if there’s an elephant in your fridge? There are footprints in the butter.
11. How do you get down from an elephant? You don’t get down from an elephant, you get down from a goose.
12. Why do elephants have flat feet? From jumping out of trees.
13. What do elephants do for laughs? They tell people jokes.
14. What did the elephant say to the naked man? Cute, but can you pick up peanuts with that?
15. Why don’t elephants live in swamps? Because they only have one pair of waders.
16. What did the elephant say to the camel? Why the two humps?
17. How do you make an elephant float? You take two scoops of ice cream, some elephant and some soda.
18. Why don’t you find elephants hiding up trees? Because they’re really good at it.
19. Why do elephants have trunks instead of tails? They don’t want to be confused with mice.
20. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck.
21. Where do elephants go swimming? The elephant pool.
22. How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away its credit card.
23. Why do elephants wear sandals? So that they don’t sink in the sand.
24. Why do elephants have wrinkled skin? Have you ever tried to iron one?
25. What did the baby elephant say to the naked man? Mommy, what’s that big thing hanging off that man?
26. How many elephants can you fit in a fridge? Only one, then it’s no longer a fridge, it’s an elephant holder.
27. What did the elephant say to the naked blonde? Nice tan!
28. Why are an elephant and a tree similar? They both have trunks.
29. How do you get an elephant out of the water? Wet.
30. Why do elephants wear tiny green hats? To sneak across pool tables without being seen.
31. Why do elephants have big ears? Because Nike doesn’t make elephant shoes.
32. What do you call a baby elephant? A little elephant.
33. How do you shoot a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun.
34. Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small, white and smooth they’d be aspirins.
35. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? Irrelephant.
36. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia.
37. How do you make an elephant float? Two scoops of ice cream, some elephant, and soda water.
38. What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Do-you-think-he-saurus.
39. What do you call an elephant that flies? A jumbo jet.
40. How do you know if there’s an elephant in the bar? It’s bike is outside.
41. How do you get four elephants into a Mini? Two in the front and two in the back.
42. What do you call an elephant wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, it can’t hear you!
43. Why do elephants have trunks? Because they would look silly carrying suitcases.
44. Why do elephants have 4 feet? Because they’d look silly with 6 inches.
45. What did the little elephant say to the naked man? That’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
46. What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the fridge? Closing the fridge door.
47. How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge? There’s a bike parked outside it.
48. How do you get an elephant out of the water? Wet.
49. Why don’t elephants go on the internet very often? They are afraid of the Trojans.
50. What do you call a bunch of elephants playing with rabbits? Stomp the bunny, stomp the bunny.
51. Why was the elephant expelled from school? Improper use of his trunk.
52. What is beautiful, gray, and wears glass slippers? Cinderelephant.
53. How do you know if there’s an elephant hiding in your refrigerator? You can’t close the door.
54. How do you get an elephant up a coconut tree? Stand it under the coconut tree, give the elephant the shake and run.
55. Why don’t elephants chew gum? They’re afraid somebody will ask them to stick it behind their ear.
56. Why are elephants able to use computers? They have big memory trunks.
57. What did the elephant say to the naked man? Hey that’s cute, but can you breathe through it?
58. What is the biggest drawback to working with elephants? You can’t just pick up and move when you feel like it.
59. Why did the elephant cross the road? Chicken’s day off.
60. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.
61. How do you stop an elephant from stampeding? Take away its credit card.
62. What do you call a bunch of elephants playing baseball? An Elephant League game.
63. How do elephants call their friends? On their elephant phones!
64. Why don’t elephants live in swamps? Because they only have one pair of waders.
65. What is an elephants favorite sport? Squash!
66. How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away its credit card.
67. Why do elephants have flat feet? For stompin’ out forest fires!
68. What did the elephant say when he saw a naked blonde? “Nice tan!”
69. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
70. What do you call a 3 headed elephant? A pachyderm-i-gorgan.
71. How do you get down from an elephant? You don’t get down from an elephant, you get down from a goose.
72. Why don’t elephants ride bicycles? They don’t have a thumb to ring the bell.
73. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale? Submarine with built in snorkel.
74. How do you shoot a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun.
75. What’s grey on the outside and pink on the inside? An elephant in a ping pong costume.
76. What’s big and grey and useless? An irrelephant.
77. What do you call two elephants on a bicycle? Optimistic!
78. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino? ‘El if I know!
79. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
80. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
81. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a mountain climber? Lots of holes in the mountain.
82. How many elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but you need a really big bulb.
83. Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? So he could hide in the strawberry patch.
84. How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Footprints in the butter.