UFO Puns
1. I heard NASA is working on a new UFO detector. They say it has unidentified flying object-recognition technology.
2. Did you hear about the new UFO with wifi capabilities? It’s called the Unidentified Flying Router.
3. Why don’t UFOs need headlights? Because the flying saucers are already lit!
4. What do you call an alien who shares too much? Oversharing from Outer Space.
5. Want to hear a joke about aliens? Sorry, it’s too out of this world.
6. What do you call an alien in a spaceship? An unidentified flying object.
7. Why did the alien go to cooking school? He wanted to learn how to make flying saucers.
8. What do you call an alien who only eats plants? An unidentified salad object.
9. Why don’t aliens take over the world? They don’t want to deal with our unidentified tax laws.
10. Did you hear about the first alien to get a driver’s license? He passed the flying saucer test easily.
11. What do you call an alien who loves music? An unidentified rocking object.
UFO One-Liners
12. I’m not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens.
13. My coworker called in sick today. He said he was abducted by a UFO, but I think he’s just spacing out.
14. I want to believe… that UFOs are real and filled with aliens.
15. Take me to your leader so I can get off this planet.
16. I’m waiting for the mothership to come pick me up.
17. The truth is out there, but the lies are inside Area 51.
18. I got 99 problems but an alien ain’t one.
19. Do aliens exist? I don’t know, I’m not an alien.
20. My love life is like a UFO sighting – there one minute and vanished the next.
21. I saw a UFO once. Turns out it was just swamp gas.
Best UFO Jokes
22. A UFO lands in a farm field late one night and an alien climbs out and walks up to the farmhouse. Once inside, the extraterrestrial encounters a human.
“Earthling, take me to your leader!” says the alien.
“You can’t talk to him now,” replies the human, “he’s busy watching the late night talk shows.”
23. Did you hear about the documentary on alien abductions? It was taken up to a whole new level.
24. A man wakes up in the middle of the night to a strange humming noise coming from outside. He walks out to the backyard to investigate. Looking up, he sees a UFO hovering about 30 feet above the ground. A beam of light comes down and captures him, pulling him up into the spacecraft. Inside the ship, an alien voice speaks to him telepathically.
“Human, we are peaceful travelers from another galaxy. We mean you no harm. You will be returned safely back to Earth after we have conducted our studies.”
The man thinks for a minute and then replies, “Listen ET, I got work tomorrow. How about you just probe me, mutilate me or do whatever you need to do, and then take me back home so I can get a bit more sleep!”
25. A huge UFO lands in the middle of the desert outside of a small town. The ship opens up, and a group of friendly aliens walks out. They make their way into town and come across a man waiting at the bus stop.
“Greetings, Earthling!” says one of the aliens. “We come in peace. Please, take us to your leader.”
The man looks bewildered for a moment but then collects himself and replies, “You know, it’s getting late, I’ve had a long day at work, and my wife is waiting for me at home with dinner ready. Why don’t you guys do whatever space alien stuff you need to do, and then be on your way?”
The aliens look at each other in confusion. Finally, the leader says, “Forgive me, but we were led to believe your planet’s people would welcome a chance to take visitors to their leader. We meant no inconvenience.”
The man shakes his head sympathetically. “Listen,” he says, “leaders come and go. Frankly, I don’t know who’s in charge these days, and I really don’t care. But dinner’s on the table at 6 sharp, and that’s the one consistent thing I know I can count on.”
The aliens mutter amongst themselves again. Then the leader speaks again: “Once more, you must forgive us. We had incorrect assumptions about Earth customs. We will return to our ship now and leave in peace.”
As the aliens turn to leave, the man calls out, “Hey wait, you guys don’t happen to know anything about fixing a Leaking sink do you? Plumber wants 800 bucks!”
26. An eccentric billionaire is determined to make contact with extraterrestrial life. He converts his enormous mansion into a giant radio telescope and begins broadcasting signals into deep space. After years of searching the skies and listening for responses, one night he finally gets an alien message!
Eagerly, he decodes the signal. It says: “We have received your message and are sending this reply: Take us to your leader.”
The billionaire is overjoyed that his efforts were successful. But he pauses for a moment, thinking about how to respond. Finally, he encodes a new message:
“Forget it, they don’t know what they’re doing half the time anyway. Let’s grab a beer instead. There’s a great sports bar downtown.”
27. After years of research, a team of astronomers FINALLY make contact with intelligent alien life! The aliens respond saying: “Greetings! We heard your message and are honored you reached out. We’re on our way to visit your planet now.”
The team is amazed and incredibly excited. But after thinking it over, the lead astronomer sends this reply:
“Actually, we didn’t really expect anyone to respond. Could you just swing by quickly, drop off some really advanced technology then be on your way? We have a lot going on right now getting ready for our company picnic next week.”
28. NASA has just made first contact with an advanced alien race. They receive this initial message from the aliens:
“People of Earth, we have observed your planet from afar and determined that you have developed nuclear weapons which pose a grave threat to galactic peace. You must immediately dismantle all of your nuclear arms under United Nations supervision or face dire consequences.”
After much discussion, NASA crafts this carefully-worded response:
“Greetings to you as well! We appreciate you taking an interest in our small, humble planet. We will certainly take your recommendations under advisement. However, we regretfully cannot take any immediate action as our entire legislature is currently tied up with budget negotiations. Let’s reconvene in 6-8 months and reassess at that time. Stay well!”
29. An astronomer detects a strong radio signal from a distant galaxy that indicates an advanced alien civilization. He quickly assembles a team to help decipher the message. After weeks of analysis, they determine that the signal contains instructions for building a complex, mysterious machine.
Unsure of the machine’s purpose, the scientists construct it carefully following the alien directions. They turn it on and wait anxiously. Suddenly, the machine springs to life and prints out a new message:
“Thank you for building the translator. We have been attempting to contact you to ask if you would please BE QUIET! Some of us in the galaxy are trying to sleep!”
30. A massive UFO lands in Times Square in the middle of the day, causing panic. An alien ambassador disembarks and addresses the crowd, saying: “People of Earth, we come in peace! Take us to your leader so that we may open diplomatic relations.”
A New Yorker in the crowd yells back, “Look buddy, I don’t know who you think runs this place but I’ve got a train to catch. Go ask the Mayor or something. And move your saucer, you’re blocking the subway entrance!”
31. After making first contact with an advanced alien race, diplomats anxiously await their response. It comes through:
“People of Earth, we observed your transmissions and were impressed with your technical skills. We invite you to join our Galactic Federation and share in our knowledge and technology.”
After intense debate, Earth’s leaders agree to send this reply:
“Greetings and thanks for getting in touch! We’re super excited you reached out but Earth is honestly a bit of a mess right now. Our leadership is divided, our climate is changing, and we’re fresh out of toilet paper. Can we take a raincheck on the Federation for a few centuries?”
32. NASA scientists confirm the existence of intelligent alien life after deciphering a message from a newly discovered Earth-like planet. The alien civilization has sent instructions to build a complex device to enable instantaneous travel between planets. Construction on the device begins immediately. When activated, the device glows brightly and prints out an interstellar memo reading:
“While we appreciate your enthusiasm, we must ask that you please refrain from visiting our planet unannounced. We are not receiving guests at this time. – Planetary Council of Xeron”
33. After years of scanning the night sky, astronomers detect a faint transmission from a distant solar system indicating intelligent life! They quickly decode the message, which reads:
“Greetings! We are an advanced civilization from planet Xenon. We have much to offer each other. Let us arrange an exchange of knowledge and culture between our two worlds.”
The scientists draft a reply:
“Hi there! Appreciate you getting in touch. We’d love to connect but Earth is a real handful now with elections, reality TV, and a toilet paper shortage. Let’s touch base in another 400 years once we’ve got our act together. Take care!”
34. After finally translating an incoming message from a newly discovered alien planet, world leaders anxiously await the content. The alien message reads:
“People of Earth, we have observed your civilization and wish to make contact. We invite you to join the Galactic Federation where we share knowledge and technology freely.”
After much consideration, the UN Secretary General composes this reply:
“Greetings friends! We are thrilled to hear from you but sadly Earth can’t commit to any Federations or long term plans right now. We have a climate crisis, political unrest, and a new COVID variant breaking out. Just pop by quickly to drop off replicators and transporters from Star Trek and we’ll follow up later. Take it easy!”
35. NASA receives a cryptic message beamed from the star Polaris containing advanced engineering schematics. After analysis, they assemble a revolutionary new spacecraft following the alien designs. As they prepare for the inaugural test flight, the ship suddenly crackles to life and transmits a message:
“We appreciate you building this prototype ship, however we cannot recommend long haul interstellar travel at this time as the in-flight meal options are severely lacking.”
36. After decoding signals from a newly discovered exoplanet, Earth’s scientists send a message expressing greetings and goodwill. They soon receive this startling reply:
“People of Earth, we were impressed by your communication and wish to invite you into our interplanetary alliance. Simply provide biological data on your species leadership, and we will beam them aboard our flagship to tour the alliance worlds.”
The scientists excitedly draft a response:
“Hi there, thanks for getting in touch! We’re super excited about the alliance but leadership here on Earth has their hands full dealing with some domestic issues at the moment. Let’s circle back in a century or so once our elected officials are less embarrassing.”
37. NASA researchers confirm the detection of a signal from an advanced alien civilization. They quickly translate the message, which reads:
“Greetings! We invite you to join us in an Exchange Program where select citizens will visit each other’s planets to share culture, art, and technology.”
After careful deliberation, the team drafts their reply:
“What an honor! Thank you for the invitation. However, we respectfully ask if this program could be deferred a few centuries? We are contending with some internal conflicts, environmental disasters, and a disregard for science here on Earth. Our planet is not exactly prime for visitation currently. But do keep in touch!”
38. Astronomers decipher a complex message from the nearby star Proxima Centauri showing it to host intelligent life. The alien civilization has sent diagrams along with an invitation to visit their planet. After analysis, the researchers draft this reply:
“We are overjoyed to hear from you! What an exciting milestone for our species. Regrettably, we will have to delay any visitations to your world. Our leaders are all tied up at the moment dealing with rampant pollution, social tensions, and inappropriate tweets.”
39. Scientists pick up a faint transmission from a newly discovered exoplanet containing detailed alien star charts. After analyzing the data, astronomers compose this reply:
“Thank you for the star charts! We would be delighted to visit your corner of the galaxy sometime. However, we are contending with some urgent issues on Earth currently, like vaccine rollouts, natural disasters, and bitter political divisions. Let’s reschedule interplanetary travel for maybe 500 years from now once we’ve sorted ourselves out. Take care!”
40. After years scanning the cosmos, astronomers detect an alien signal! It contains plans for advanced technology along with an invitation to join an Intergalactic Federation. The scientists draft this thoughtful reply:
“What an honor! However, Earth must graciously decline the invitation at this time. We deeply appreciate you reaching out but are really swimming in problems here from climate change to social media addiction. Let’s reconnect in a few centuries once humanity gets its act together. Looking forward to that!”
41. NASA receives a message from intelligent life in another galaxy. It reads:
“Greetings! We invite you to join our advanced galactic civilization. Simply provide biological data on your planet’s leadership, and we will beam them aboard our flagship to tour our worlds.”
After careful consideration, NASA replies:
“What an exciting invitation! Regrettably, our leadership is occupied with several pressing domestic issues at the moment. But we would be thrilled to open diplomatic relations in a century or so once our elected officials spend less time tweeting and more time funding science and education initiatives.”