Trombone Puns
1. What do you call a trombone player who keeps skipping rehearsals? A slide dodger!
2. Why was the trombone player always running late to gigs? They had a hard time keeping up with the tempo!
3. How does a trombone player keep their instrument from getting stolen? They put a lock on their slide.
4. What’s a trombone player’s favorite fruit? Melons – because they’re great to slide on!
5. Why are trombone players such good gardeners? They have a green thumb-bone!
6. Why can’t you borrow money from a trombone player? Because they’re usually broke!
7. How do you fix a broken trombone? With a tuba glue!
8. What’s a trombone player’s favorite dance move? The slip slide!
9. Why do trombone players make bad doctors? Because all they know how to do is slide people along!
10. What kind of shoes do trombone players wear? Slip-ons!
Trombone One-Liners
11. I asked the trombone player how the gig went last night. They said it was just slide-by slide-by.
12. Trombone players always seem to have great lung capacity – it’s that slide air they breathe!
13. I told my trombone it looked a little rusty. It said, “Slide off!”
14. How can you tell when a trombone player is at your front door? The doorbell just slides up and down.
15. How do trombone players party? They raise the slide roof!
16. How do trombone players get around town? On their slide cycles!
17. What’s a trombone player’s motto? Slide first, ask questions later!
18. How does a trombone player fix their car? They use a slide wrench!
19. How do you know when a trombone player is knocking at your door? The doorbell keeps sliding up and down!
20. I asked my trombone friend how their solo went. They said it slid by in a flash.
Best Trombone Jokes
21. A trombone player was practicing at home late one night when the neighbors started banging on the walls and ceiling. After about 20 minutes of constant playing, the trombone player stopped and shouted, “Hey! Don’t you guys know you’re interrupting my slide practice!?”
22. What’s the range of a trombone? About 20 yards if you’ve got a good arm!
23. A new trombone player joined a jazz band full of veterans. At their first gig, he kept playing the wrong notes and getting lost. Finally, the lead trombonist said, “Hey kid, just pretend to play. We’ll play loud enough to cover you.” The new guy was relieved and mimed his parts for the rest of the show. Afterwards, he thanked the other trombonist, saying “That’s so thoughtful of you to suggest I fake it. By the way, how did you know I was a politician?”
24. An optimistic trombone player was auditioning for a spot in the state orchestra. The conductor asked him, “How good are you at hitting high notes?” The trombonist slid his instrument all the way out and declared confidently, “I slide above the rest!”
25. What’s the difference between a trombone player and a SCUD missile? The SCUD missile can kill thousands of people and cause devastating damage, whereas the trombone player just annoys the neighbors.
26. A jazz bandleader calls out “Trombone solo, take it Jimmy!” as the band starts swinging a hot tune. Jimmy stands up, working the slide furiously, beads of sweat pouring down his face. When he finishes his blistering solo, the band erupts in applause. Panting heavily, Jimmy sits down and sighs “Man, I really slid the heck out of that one!”
27. How do you know if there’s a trombone player at your door? The doorbell drags.
28. What does a trombone player use for birth control? Their personality!
29. How can you make a trombone player’s car more aerodynamic? Take the Domino’s Pizza sign off the roof.
30. Q: How do you fix a broken trombone? A: With a “spit-valve transplant”!
31. What do you call a trombone player with half a brain? Gifted!
32. How many trombone players does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they’ll do it too loudly!
33. Did you hear about the trombone player who locked their keys in the car? It took two hours to get the bass trombone section out.
34. What’s the definition of perfect pitch? Throwing a trombone accurately into a dumpster without hitting the rim.
35. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A trombone player.
36. How do you get a trombone section to play in perfect unison? Shoot all but one of them.
37. My trombone instructor told me I needed more slide grease. I regretfully informed him that I had already used an entire tuba toothpaste.
38. Did you hear about the trombone player who was stranded on a desert island for 10 years? When he was finally rescued, they found he had written over 10,000 slides.
39. What’s the difference between a trombone and a chainsaw? Vibrato.
40. How do you know when there’s a trombone player at your door? The doorbell drags.
41. I once knew a trombone player who could play 16th notes with his slide. Everyone called him a sextuple tonguer.
42. Did you hear about the baseball player who married a trombone player? Every night after a game, he slid into home!
43. What do you call a trombonist with a beeper and a cellular phone? A slider with modem attachments!