South Park Puns (10)
1. I’m so hungry I could eat a whole Cartman!
2. Kyle’s mom makes the best brisket in town. She’s the Queen of Juicy.
3. Mr. Garrison should open a bakery called Cupcakes and Crazies.
4. The Goth Kids shop at Hotblack Despair.
5. Timmy and Jimmy should start a band called Cripple Creek.
6. Chef’s favorite salad dressing is Cream of Sum Yung Guy.
7. Father Maxi keeps a Bible next to his Book of Mormon.
8. Kenny’s parka is an orange peeler.
9. Butters is always Flutterin’ around.
10. Mr. Hankey leaves trails like a Chocolate Lab.
South Park One-Liners (10)
11. Don’t have a cow, Cartman!
12. Respect my authoritah!
13. Screw you guys, I’m going home!
14. Beefcake!
15. Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
16. Kick the baby!
17. I learned something today…
18. You killed Kenny, you bastards!
19. Timmy!
20. How would you like to suck my balls?
Best South Park Jokes (40)
21. What do you get when you cross a pepperoni pizza with a chicken? Cheesy poofs!
22. How does Cartman try to get rid of his lice? By taking a bath in KFC gravy.
23. Why does Jimmy keep falling over? He has a crutch.
24. How do the Goth kids get around town? On their Bi-cycles.
25. Why doesn’t Kenny get straight A’s? He keeps dying before finals.
26. Why does Chef sing about making sweet love in the middle of the night? He likes to spoon.
27. What do you call Kyle after he eats too much Halloween candy? A Gingerbread Man.
28. Why does Mr. Garrison want a sex change operation? So he can be Mrs. Garrison.
29. How does Timmy introduce himself? Tim-Timmay Tim-Tim-Timmay!
30. What happens when Randy gets drunk and goes streaking during a Broncos game? He ends up on the South Park Cows highlights reel.
31. Why does Cartman hate the entitled attitude of hippies? Because they act holier than thou.
32. What do you call Butters when he can’t sit still? A flutterbug.
33. Why does Mr. Mackey always say drugs are bad? Because he’s in de-neial.
34. How does Kenny afford designer clothes? He gets them for a steal.
35. What instrument does Timmy play in a band? The Tim-banjo.
36. Why does Chef sing about loving women of all colors? He doesn’t discriminate, he likes every shade of the rainbow.
37. What South Park character works at the bowling alley? Pinball Wizard Ike.
38. How does Kyle avoid getting sunburnt? He uses ginger ale.
39. Why is Cartman always asking his mom for junk food? Because he’s fat-uous.
40. What does Mr. Hankey leave in his wake? His marsupial madness.
41. What do you call Butters when he’s confused? A flutter nutter butter.
42. Why does Kenny laugh every time someone farts? He likes crude humor.
43. How does Kyle stay warm in winter? With his ushanka and brisket.
44. What South Park adult owns a Shake Weight? Randy, so he can get totally ripped.
45. Why does Mr. Garrison hate teaching? Because his students give him cramps.
46. What do you call Timmy when he won’t stop talking? A motormouth.
47. Why does Cartman always rip on Kyle for being Jewish? Because he’s shallow and Pyle-drives stereotypes.
48. What do you call Gerald Broflovski after working out? Swole-flovski.
49. Why does Kenny like wearing an orange parka? It matches his orange sense of humor.
50. How does Mrs. Cartman reward Eric for cleaning his room? By taking him to Cheesecake Factory for some cheddar bay biscuits.
51. Why does Mr. Hankey only come out on Christmas? Because the other days he’s just poopin’ normal.
52. What do you call Butters when he trips walking up the stairs? A butterfingers klutz.
53. How do the South Park cows help clean up the town? They chew their cud and moo-ve trash with their utters.
54. Why are the Goth kids always moping around? They’re in their emo-tional phase.
55. What instrument does Jimmy play with his crutches? The triangle.
56. How does Chef make his famous Salisbury steak? He seasons the meat perfectly and smothers it in succulent gravy.
57. What does Mr. Mackey give drug offenders? Counseling and rehab to get them off the smackey.
58. Why is Cartman always ripping on hippies? Because they drive him up the wall-flower.
59. What does Kyle give his mom for Mother’s Day? A nice brisket in her honor.
60. How does Timmy describe his wheelchair? It’s pretty pimp and helps him cruise down the avenue.