Roofing Puns (15)
1. I was thinking of re-shingling my roof, but I don’t want to make any rash decisions.
2. My friend got a job installing roofs. He said it has its ups and downs.
3. I asked the roofer if he could fix my leaky roof. He said no problem, he would just shingle it out.
4. Did you hear about the roofer who fell off the roof? Don’t worry, he’s alright now.
5. What do you call a group of roofers? A roofing crew.
6. Why was the roofer so tired at the end of the day? He was completely shingled out.
7. What do you call a roofer who is afraid of heights? Sherlock Shingles.
8. Why do roofers make good dancers? They know how to hip-roof.
9. Did you hear about the roofer who was feeling under the weather? He had shingle fever.
10. I wanted to reshingle my roof, but my wife said I’d have to do it on my slate time.
11. Why are most roofs slanted? Because if they were flat, all the roofers would slip off.
12. What does a roofer say on December 31st? “See you next year!”
13. Why do roofers make the best politicians? Because they know how to run a ladder campaign.
14. Did you hear about the roofer who fell through the skylight? It was quite a pane.
15. I was thinking of becoming a roofer, but I don’t know if I can handle that much asphalt.
Roofing One-Liners (15)
16. I became a roofer because I looked up to my dad.
17. Roofers get paid by the shingle.
18. When it rains, roofers pour.
19. Roofers aren’t afraid of heights, they’re afraid of widths.
20. Roofers like their jobs because they are always on top of things.
21. Roofers install skylights to get more insight on their work.
22. Roofers aren’t concerned with heights, just lows.
23. Roofers roof, grounders ground.
24. Roofers install gutters because they hate downspouts.
25. Roofers reach great heights while avoiding low blows.
26. Roofers aren’t afraid of ladders, just stairs.
27. Roofers make houses watertight so owners can sleep tight.
28. Roofers climb their way to the top – the roof, that is!
29. Roofers always seek higher learning at their school for higher earners.
30. Roofers have a ceiling for roof-related humor.
Best Roofing Jokes (25)
31. A roofer walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a beer, please.” The bartender asks, “What happened to your arm?” The roofer replies, “I fell off a roof this morning.” The bartender says, “Well that must have hurt, here is your beer.” The roofer then says, “Oh no, I almost forgot. I’ll also need one for my brother.” The bartender asks, “Your brother fell off the roof too?” “No,” says the roofer, “but he was on the ground and broke my fall.”
32. Did you hear about the roofer who couldn’t afford coffee? He didn’t have enough change for the roofing machine.
33. Why did the roofer go barefoot? He wanted to get a better feel for his work.
34. How do you know when a roofer is at your door? You hear a ladder fall against it.
35. Why do ghosts make good roofers? Because they can go through walls and keep working in any weather.
36. My roof was sorely in need of repair and I was fed up dealing with regular roofers. So I decided to hire a troupe of acrobatic roofers—and boy, did they go above and beyond.
37. I caught my roofers goofing off on the job. They were just trying to get a rise out of me.
38. Did you hear about the roofer who was caught stealing shingles? He got nailed for it.
39. Why don’t roofers ever win hide and seek games? Because they always end up on the roof.
40. Did you hear about the roofer who fell through a barn roof? He landed right on a pitchfork! Luckily he missed all the tines – it was his shingle greatest near-death experience.
41. Did you hear about the roofer who was painting while drunk? He was completely shingled!
42. Why don’t ants make good roofers? They’re not fond of heights!
43. Why was the roofer sweating on a cold winter day? He was working off his Christmas shingles.
44. Did you hear about the nearsighted roofer who fell off a roof? He stepped on a nail file.
45. My roofer friend is a bit clumsy. He’s always walking into problems eave-first.
46. Did you hear about the roofers who went on strike? They wanted to raise the roof on their hourly wage.
47. Did you hear about the roofer who dropped his hammer? He hit the nail right on the head.
48. Did you hear about the roofer who fell three stories off a roof? Don’t worry, he lived. Now he’s a paraplegic roofer.
49. Why do roofers make great philosophers? Because they are always pondering shingles.
50. My roofer friend told me he was quitting his job. I said, “What? You’re really going to leave your career in the gutter?”
51. Did you hear about the roofer who got caught stealing copper gutters? The police arrested him for gutter sniping.
52. Why do roofers prefer to work during the day? So they can avoid night terrors.
53. Did you hear about the roofer who accidentally dropped his hammer through a skylight? He totally paned that poor homeowner.
54. What do you call a doctor who moonlights as a roofer? A healer-shingler!
55. Why do roofers hate driving at night? It’s hard to see the road when you’re up on the roof of your car.