Queen Victoria Puns (10)
1. I heard Queen Victoria collects stamps. You could say she’s very fond of the royal mail!
2. Did you hear about Queen Victoria’s new clothing line? It’s called “Vic’s Knickers.”
3. Queen Victoria always insists on eating off fine china. I guess you could say she’s very fond of her royal dishes!
4. I asked Queen Victoria if she wanted to grab coffee, but she said she’d rather have tea. I guess she’s just following royal tradition!
5. Queen Victoria is hosting a party and wants music. Let’s hope she can find a royal DJ!
6. Queen Victoria decided to go swimming today. Let’s hope she remembers to bring her royal floaties!
7. I told Queen Victoria a joke about her family tree. Luckily she appreciated the royal humour!
8. Queen Victoria loves taking photos around Buckingham Palace. I guess she just can’t resist a royal selfie!
9. I heard Queen Victoria has started gardening as a hobby. She just loves tending to her royal flowers!
10. Queen Victoria is looking for some new reading material. I recommended she check out the royal library!
Queen Victoria One-Liners (10)
11. I asked Queen Victoria to pay for dinner, but she said, “The royal bill is on me!”
12. Someone told Queen Victoria to break a leg. She said, “I’d rather not cause a royal injury!”
13. Queen Victoria entered a pie eating contest. She was ready to make it a royally good time!
14. I told Queen Victoria I was going sailing this weekend. She said, “That sounds like a royally fun time!”
15. Someone called Queen Victoria pretentious. She responded, “I prefer to think of myself as royally dignified.”
16. I asked Queen Victoria if she wanted to go bowling. She said, “That sounds like a royally good time!”
17. Queen Victoria tripped and fell earlier. But she got right back up because royals don’t stay down for long!
18. Someone told Queen Victoria to break a leg. She responded, “I’d rather not cause a royal injury!”
19. I saw Queen Victoria crying over a sad movie. Turns out she’s a real softy at heart!
20. I asked Queen Victoria to grab a drink, but she just gave me a royal grin.
Best Queen Victoria Jokes (20)
21. Queen Victoria walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Shaken or stirred?” Victoria replies, “Do you expect me to answer as a commoner?”
22. Queen Victoria decided to go undercover to see how average citizens live. She wore a disguise and introduced herself as Vicky. No one recognized her, but everyone noticed how bossy Vicky was!
23. Queen Victoria enters a look-alike contest for herself and loses. She angrily shouts, “Off with their heads!”
24. Queen Victoria decides to try horseback riding for the first time. She gets on the horse and says, “Giddy up, peasant!”
25. Queen Victoria goes to a psychic for a reading. The psychic says, “I’m seeing that you’re under a lot of pressure in your career.” Victoria rolls her eyes and says, “Well, I am the Queen of England…”
26. Queen Victoria is asked to smile for a photo. She refuses, stating, “A queen’s face remains neutral at all times.”
27. Queen Victoria tries her first slice of pizza and immediately demands that it be served for dinner in the palace every night.
28. Queen Victoria decides to go golfing. When she keeps missing the ball, she yells, “Who moved my royal tee? Off with their heads!”
29. Queen Victoria tries stand up comedy. For her first joke she says, “Have you heard about the queen who lost her throne? She’s not amused.”
30. Queen Victoria decides to go undercover as a commoner in a pub. When she orders a drink, she’s told, “Put your money where your crown is!”
31. Queen Victoria enters a pie eating contest, scarfing down pies with elegance and grace. She takes dainty bites and wipes her mouth politely between pies. She ends up losing to a large bearded man who crams whole pies in his mouth at once.
32. Queen Victoria decides to try her hand at cooking. She attempts to bake a cake but ends up with a burnt brick. Furious, she yells, “Off with the oven’s head!”
33. Queen Victoria joins a bowling league for royalty. She repeatedly rolls gutter balls, so she orders the guards to move the bowling pins closer to improve her aim.
34. Queen Victoria enters a talent show, planning to play a classical piano piece. But when a hip-hop dance group takes the stage before her, she gets up and starts breaking it down in a ballgown and tiara.
35. While visiting Scotland, Queen Victoria decides to try the caber toss. She picks up the long wooden pole, takes one step, and topples over onto her royal behind.
36. Queen Victoria poses for a new portrait and immediately hates the way the artist painted her nose. She orders the guards to cut the nose right out of the painting.
37. Queen Victoria decides to try out online dating. She signs up on Tinder with the username QVee1890. Her bio reads, “Swipe right if you want to rule an empire by my side.”
38. Queen Victoria tries her hand at cooking and bakes some scones. When she serves them to guests, they are all as hard as rocks. One breaks a tooth, so Victoria orders, “Off with his head!”
39. Queen Victoria attempts to make a TikTok dance video for the app’s royalty-themed day. But she keeps messing up the moves, so she yells, “Off with TikTok’s head!”
40. Queen Victoria tries skiing and keeps falling down the bunny slope. Frustrated, she demands the guards flatten out the mountain to make it easier for her.