Plumber Puns
1. Why did the plumber get arrested? He was caught pipe-handed!
2. Why are plumbers always so busy? They have a full pipeline of work.
3. What do you call a plumber who won’t stop talking about pipes? A pipe dreamer.
4. Why do plumbers make great detectives? They’re experts at finding the lead pipe.
5. What do you call a plumber with awebsite? A pipe cleaner.
6. Why was the plumber running late? He hit a clog in his schedule.
7. Why do plumbers make the best mathematicians? They’re great with calculations.
8. What do you call a plumber’s online journal? A pipe log.
9. Why are plumbers never lonely? They always have company in the john.
10. Why did the plumber bring his wrench to bed? He wanted to sleep tight.
Plumber One-Liners
11. I asked the plumber to look at my pipes and he said, “Water you talking about?”
12. After the plumber fixed our toilet, he said, “If it doesn’t work, just give me a flush.”
13. My plumber charged me $500 to install a new faucet, talk about being royally flushed!
14. I wanted to thank the plumber for unclogging my drain, but he told me not to sweat it.
15. The plumber showed me a photo of his family and I said, “Oh what a lovely pipeline!”
16. I told the plumber we have rats in the basement and he said, “Don’t worry, I’ll send my apprentice down to flush them out.”
17. The plumber handed me a bill for $1000 and I said, “Are you trying to rob me blind?”
18. I asked the plumber if the replacement part would fit and he said, “It’ll be a tight seal.”
19. The plumber said my low water pressure could be fixed with a hydrojetting, I said “Water you talking about?”
20. The plumber asked for my sister’s number, I said “Sorry, but she already has a flush.”
Best Plumber Jokes
21. A plumber went to the hardware store and asked for a toilet lid. The clerk said, “What size do you need?” The plumber replied, “The standard size, you know, for a regular john.”
22. Did you hear about the plumber who plowed into the back of a garbage truck? He said it was an unfortunate case of rear-ended dumper.
23. Why do plumbers like doing laundry? Because they love seeing a full load in the wash.
24. How do you fix a wobbly toilet? Use a plumber’s crack.
25. Did you hear about the plumber who always talked about pipes? His friends eventually had to put a cap on it.
26. Why don’t plumbers ever donate blood? It’s against draining protocol.
27. Why was the plumber sweating so much? He was having a flushed face.
28. What do you call a plumber who does their work quietly? A silent pipe-er.
29. Why do plumbers make the best party guests? They know how to pipe things up!
30. Did you hear about the plumber who wrote a book? It quickly went down the drain on the bestseller list.
31. Why do plumbers make great ghosts? They know all the ins and outs of the pipes!
32. Why was the plumber dancing? He was doing the drainpipe.
33. What’s a plumber’s favorite type of pants? Pipe jeans.
34. Why was the plumber late for dinner? He got caught in a pipe line.
35. What do you call a plumber who fixes the loo? The potty plumber.
36. Why did the plumber install a solar panel on his van? For more power flushing!
37. Why do plumbers get paid so much? They have the skills to produce great drainage.
38. What’s a plumber’s favorite dessert? Pipe dream pie.
39. Why do plumbers like video games so much? They’re good at pipe flow.
40. How does a plumber party? They turn on the tap!
41. Why was the plumber wearing a tuxedo? He was going to the ball valve.
42. What do you call someone who steals a plumber’s tools? A pipe burglar.
43. Why are plumbers so good at math? They’re pros at finding the square roots.
44. Why did the plumber go on a diet? To reduce his waste line.
45. Why do birds always poop on plumbers’ vans? They love a good drain pipe.
46. What’s a plumber’s favorite fruit? A pipe-apple!
47. Why do plumbers like drinking tea? Because it helps keep their water pipes hot.
48. What do you call a plumber who does free work? A non-pipe-charging plumber.
49. Why do plumbers like eating donuts? They can’t resist anything with holes!
50. Why was the plumber arrested? For pipe-lifting!
51. Did you hear about the plumber who started improv comedy? He’s getting great pipes!
52. Why are plumbers so wealthy? They clean up in their line of work.
53. What’s a plumber’s favorite movie genre? Pipe fiction.
54. Why do plumbers wear their pants so low? To show their plumber’s crack.
55. Did you hear about the plumber who went missing? Police are searching high and low pressure.
56. Why do plumbers make great singers? They have amazing pipe ability.
57. What’s a plumber’s favorite pet? A flush hound.
58. Why do plumbers have smelly feet? From wading through too much wastewater.
59. What do you call a plumber who fixes pipes underground? An undercover plumber.
60. Why are plumbers so handy? They know their way around a wrench.