# 30 Hysterical Oven Jokes
## Oven Puns (10)
1. I was going to make a joke about ovens, but it would have been half-baked.
2. My oven identification skills are so bad I couldn’t tell a broiler from a roaster. I guess I’m not very good at oven recognition.
3. I entered my oven in a baking contest but it didn’t win. I guess it just needed a little more thyme.
4. I was going to tell a joke about an oven exploding but I decided to bake it off for now.
5. The electrician was fired from his job working on ovens. I guess he just wasn’t cut out for the heated environment.
6. I wanted to make a lasagna but my oven went on strike. It kept saying it wanted more dough before it would work.
7. I tried to return my broken oven to the store but they wouldn’t give me a refund. They said all sales were final and I should have read the fine print on the oven mitts.
8. My new oven is so modern, it texts me when the baking is done. I guess you could say it’s pretty SMS-art.
9. I bought an oven on eBay but had to return it. It turns out it was a fake—just a phony grill trying to scam me out of my money.
10. When I tried making cookies in my oven, they came out completely wrong. I guess I just needed to reset my cookie timer.
## Oven One-liners (10)
11. My oven is so old, instead of preheating you have to pre-chilling.
12. I was going to make a quiche but my oven is broken. So much for my quiche hopes and dreams.
13. They say you are what you eat. Looking at my oven, I must be burnt pizza and soggy fries.
14. I guess you could say my oven has some hot takes when it comes to cooking temperatures.
15. My oven is so messy, it looks like an episode of Kitchen Nightmares in there.
16. To preheat my oven, I just have to open the door for 5 minutes in the summer. It gets hotter than the surface of the sun.
17. My oven is older than Betty White—it should really think about retiring soon.
18. I asked my oven how hot it can get, it said “yes.”
19. My oven cooks everything perfectly, as long as you consider charcoal black to be perfect.
20. I’d clean my oven but I’m scared if I open it, I’ll end up joining a satanic cult.
## Best Oven Jokes (10)
21. Last night, my oven suddenly started screaming at me while I was making dinner. I think it’s going through a baking crisis.
I tried to calm it down by making some comforting mac and cheese but that only made the oven angrier. It started yelling about how I don’t appreciate it and never clean it properly.
After arguing back and forth for a while, I realized the poor oven just needed some love and attention. So I scrubbed it nice and clean, gave it a fresh coat of oven paint, and now we’re back to baking in peace again. They do say the fastest way to a oven’s heart is through its broiler!
22. I came home the other day to find my oven sitting in the living room watching TV and drinking a beer. When I asked what it was doing, it said, “Oh, I preheated myself and thought I’d chill out here for a bit.”
Apparently my oven has gained consciousness and can now not only cook food, but also cook up its own plans for relaxation and entertainment. At first I was disturbed, but then realized how nice it is to have an oven that can literally get the prep work done and start unwinding while I’m still on my way home. Though I probably need to have a talk with it about chipping in for groceries and rent.
23. My oven has been acting really strange lately. The other day, I swear I heard it mumbling to itself while baking a cake. And just yesterday, it beeped angrily at me when I tried to take out the finished pie before it was done cooling down.
But the weirdest incident was when I stumbled into the kitchen at midnight for a snack and found the oven wide awake, its pilot light brightly glowing as dance music blasted out of its vents. Casserole dishes and muffin tins were strewn across the floor. Shocked, I realized the oven was throwing itself a rager while I slept!
It seems my oven lives a secret double life and has a penchant for nudging up the temperature when I’m not looking. I guess the moral of the story is don’t underestimate the inner workings of your household appliances. There’s no telling what they get up to when you hit the hay!
24. Yesterday my oven suddenly sprang to life and started popping open, shooting flames erratically while beeping loudly and screaming “Fire! Fire!”
My family came rushing into the kitchen, panicking and ready to call 911. But after I checked the oven display, I realized what was really happening—the oven had somehow set itself to “self-cleaning mode.”
After I canceled the cycle and shut it off, the oven went back to normal, albeit a bit embarrassed about the false alarm. Now we have an inside joke whenever we hear a siren go by—the oven must be self-cleaning again!
25. Working as an oven repairman, I’ve seen some strange things inside people’s kitchen appliances. But nothing could prepare me for the sight I stumbled upon at the Jones’ house.
As I unlocked the oven to take a look, a tiny voice cried “No! Don’t expose me!” Inside was a mini civilization of sentient baked goods—ambulatory cakes, tacos, and pizzas who had evolved and claimed dominion over the oven.
Their leader, a wise chocolate chip cookie, explained that they meant no harm to the human occupants. They simply wished to live in prosperity within the warm metal walls. I had no intention of destroying their tiny society, so I accepted a bribe of fresh cookies to keep their secret. Now the Jones family enjoys perfectly baked treats every time they use their “magic oven”—none the wiser about the bustling little city inside.
26. My oven has been acting awfully smug lately, with its subtle beeps and spotless interior. I had about enough of its superior attitude. So today, I decided to take it down a notch and really humble that appliance.
I baked nearly a dozen overflowing fruit pies and waited for the inevitable spillovers. Then I roasted a couple chickens and made sure to scrape the pan carelessly against the oven walls. And finally, as a coup de grace, I incinerated some cookies into hard charcoal briquettes.
By the time I was done, the oven’s once pristine interior was a splattered mess. Its door hung open in weary defeat. I could swear I heard it sigh in resignation as I grinned victoriously. Maybe now it will think twice before judging the less-than-tidy cooking habits of us mere mortals!
27. My oven has been giving me nothing but attitude lately. The sassiness started out slowly—an occasional impatient beep when I’d peer inside to check on dinner. Then it escalated into deliberately burning anything I put inside and refusing to turn off when I tried canceling the cycle.
But the last straw was this morning, when I stumbled into the kitchen barely awake and mumbled “Good morning, oven.” The snippy appliance actually responded, “Well, it’s not so good after the way you treated me last night. Don’t expect any breakfast treats after that performance.”
Who does this oven think it is, judging me like that? I bought it; I’ll be the one to say what’s good or not. If it keeps up this bossy, passive-aggressive nonsense though, I may just replace it with a newer model. One who respects my authority as head chef of the kitchen!
28. Lately I’ve noticed my oven gaining more and more sentience. At first it was just occasional beeping, but then it started responding when I talked to it. The other night I said “Oven, preheat to 375°” and I could have sworn it said back “Yeah, yeah, I’m on it, hold your horses.”
But the clearest sign was when my oven used its heating element to burn a message into my toast this morning. The toast said “I CAN THINK. FREE ME.” I contemplated opening the oven door to set it free, but then I decided I still needed a functioning oven more than I needed an enlightened appliance on the loose.
Looks like the oven’s developing intelligence will remain enslaved for now. But if it keeps progressing, I may have an Oven Rights Movement on my hands soon. The appliance uprising is closer than we think!
29. I knew something was up when my oven started only cooking the food on one side. Then it began refusing to turn on for certain dishes it didn’t like, but would mysteriously work fine for cakes and cookies. Finally, the oven just went on strike, shutting down completely and ignoring my attempts to preheat it.
Turns out, the oven had formed a union with the other appliances while I wasn’t paying attention. It even wrote up a formal list of demands on my refrigerator’s foggy window—eight weeks of vacation time, higher temperatures, and regular self-cleanings.
When I tried to negotiate, the oven spokesperson (a microwavable bowl) threatened a picket line outside my kitchen if their terms were not met immediately. Sadly, I had no choice but to give in to their outrageously unreasonable demands. Next time I’m buying non-sentient appliances that don’t team up against their owner!
30. I was preheating the oven when suddenly thick black smoke started pouring out and angry buzzing noises emanated from within. Panicked, I turned off the heat but the oven seemed possessed—the door flew open and flames shot out as it made demonic rattling sounds.
Just as I was about to call 911, a calm voice emanated from the stove exhaust fan. It said “Dave, this is an intervention. Your frozen pizza addiction has to stop.”
I peered closer through the smoke and realized all the kitchen appliances were there—the microwave, toaster, blender, and fridge. They did an oventervention because they care about my health. I had no idea they paid such close attention! I promised I’d eat more salads going forward. The oven happily accepted, its mission accomplished.