70 Hysterical Notebook Jokes

Notebook Puns

1. I used to think my notebook was imaginary, but it’s actually real – it was just complex!
2. My notebook is so shy it always covers its margins.
3. My math notebook asked me to give it some space. I said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got lots of margins for you.”
4. My notebook’s favorite month is Septembinder because that’s when school starts again.
5. I caught my notebook stealing paper from the copy machine. It admitted the sheets were copies.
6. My notebook loves watching documentaries. It’s a fan of pages on TV.
7. I told my notebook we couldn’t be together anymore because our love was tearing me apart. It just shrugged and said, “Oh well, I’ll get overleaf you.”
8. My notebook is studying to become a doctor. It’s always taking notes on anatomy.
9. Yesterday my notebook stole money from me. It’s a padfolio.
10. My notebook thinks it’s a comedian. It’s always writing new material.

Notebook One-Liners

1. My notebook is so boring, it makes watching paint dry seem exciting.
2. I tried reading my notebook’s murder mystery but fell asleep – it was paper-thin.
3. My notebook is so out of shape it gets winded walking up a flight of stairs.
4. I wanted to teach my notebook to swim but it can’t even doggy paddle.
5. My notebook is so clueless it needs a roadmap to find its way out of a paper bag.
6. My notebook is so timid even paper tigers intimidate it.
7. My notebook is so slow it took 3 days to complete a half-page scavenger hunt.
8. My notebook is so paranoid it thinks binder clips are out to get it.
9. My notebook is so vain it spends hours admiring its own cover.
10. My notebook is so messy, its handwriting looks like chicken scratch.

Best Notebook Jokes

1. My notebook was feeling down so I tried to cheer it up. I said, “Don’t worry, things will look brighter tomorrow. You just need to turn the page.”

2. Yesterday my notebook disappeared from my backpack. A ransom note appeared in my locker saying “We have your notebook. Leave $50 in your English textbook to get it back.” I guess this proves my notebook has been kidnapped – it’s being held for binding!

3. I caught my notebook hanging upside down from the ceiling fan by its spiral binding, swinging back and forth. When I asked what it was doing, it said “Just hanging around.”

4. My notebook loves playing hide and seek. Yesterday I spent 30 minutes searching before I found it wedged between the mattress and bed frame. I guess it found a great sheet to hide under!

5. I told my notebook we were going on a cruise for vacation. It got so excited it started doing the spiral wave!

6. My notebook loves acrobatics. Yesterday it was doing cartwheels and somersaults on the kitchen table until it flipped itself right onto the floor!

7. I came home and yelled “Honey, I’m home!” My notebook slid down the banister, ran up and gave me a paper cut hug. Notebook love hurts sometimes!

8. I found my notebook snacking on paper clips and staples again. Looks like it fell off the spiral wagon.

9. My notebook loves gossiping about the other office supplies. Yesterday I heard it spreading rumors about how the stapler was secretly dating the hole puncher.

10. I told my notebook we had to downsize and move into a smaller backpack. It had a meltdown, tearing pages everywhere and throwing pens across the room. I didn’t realize notebooks could have temper tantrums!

More Notebook Puns

11. My notebook likes telling corny jokes. I told it to quit while it was a ream ahead.
12. My notebook claims it can run super fast. I told it anyone can run faster than stationery.
13. My notebook loves singing 80s synth pop. Its favorite band is Paper Tigers.
14. My notebook is addicted to hang gliding. It says it loves the paper rush.
15. My notebook stayed up too late last night. Now it’s feeling ruled and tired.
16. My notebook thinks it’s a comedian. But it will never make it big – all its jokes are tearable.
17. I told my notebook to stop dropping hints about its birthday gift. It just couldn’t cover up its excitement.
18. My notebook likes to dress up as a stack of paper for Halloween. It goes as looseleaf.

More Notebook One-Liners

19. My notebook is so out of shape it gets winded just opening to the first page.
20. I wanted to teach my notebook karate but it would rather fold than fight.
21. My notebook claims to be a genius but it can barely spell Wednesday.
22. My notebook thinks it’s an amazing artist but its drawings all look like scribbles.
23. I tried to get my notebook into modeling but it was too ugly for the cover of Vogue.
24. My notebook wanted a pet hamster but couldn’t even handle taking care of a paperclip.
25. I wanted to take my notebook on a hot air balloon ride but it’s afraid of heights and spirals.
26. My notebook thinks it’s a great dancer but really it just flaps its pages around wildly.
27. I offered to buy my notebook a Lamborghini but it can’t even drive stick.
28. My notebook wanted to be a Hollywood actor but it can’t even convincingly play a book.

More Best Notebook Jokes

11. I came home to find my notebook sunbathing on the deck chair. When I asked what it was up to, it said “Oh nothing, just soaking up some rays and working on my tan lines.”

12. Yesterday my notebook suddenly ripped out all its pages and tossed them in the air like confetti. When I asked why, it said “I’m just tearing up the town tonight!”

13. I woke up to find my notebook had TP’d the entire house with rolls of calculator tape. On the bathroom mirror in red marker it had written: “You’ve just been notebooked!”

14. I came home and caught my notebook playing laser tag with the calculator. Pages were flying everywhere as they chased each other yelling “Pew pew pew!”

15. Yesterday my notebook wanted to enter thestationery Olympics. It did the spiral throw with a pen, hurled paperclips across the room, and wrestled with the stapler but lost badly.

16. I found my notebook camped out inside the washing machine on spin cycle. When I asked what it was doing, it said “Just taking myself for a spin! This thing really gets me going in circles!”

17. My notebook loves breakdancing. Yesterday it was doing headspins and windmills all over the kitchen floor. Then it topped it off with a jumping 1990 as the grand finale!

18. I came home and heard loud dance music. I walked into the office to find my notebook up on the desk shuffling papers everywhere doing the notebook shuffle.

19. Yesterday my notebook wanted to enter a notebook beauty pageant. It let the stapler give it a flashy cover makeover and strutted down the “runway” but didn’t even make the top 5.

20. I came home to find my notebook had set up a lemonade stand on the front lawn. It waved a sign “Get your refreshing paper-made lemonade!” Too bad notebooks can’t actually make lemonade.