Nail Salon Puns
1. I went to the nail salon to get a manicure, but they were all booked up. I guess I’ll just have to wing it.
2. I wanted to get my nails done at the new salon in town, but they didn’t have any openings. The receptionist said their schedule was pretty packed.
3. The nail technician asked if I wanted square or round tips on my nails. I said, “Just the tips, please!”
4. I asked the nail tech for short nails with a natural look. She said, “So, you want tips without the frills?”
5. Getting a mani-pedi is the perfect way to treat yourself when you’re feeling blue. It’ll have you tickled pink in no time!
6. I got neon green nail polish today to match my highlighter. I guess you could say I’m looking pretty highlighted right now.
7. I brought my own nail polish to the salon but the tech said, “Sorry, we don’t allow BYOP.”
8. The nail salon was giving out free paraffin wax treatments, so I jumped at the chance to get my hands dipped.
9. I asked for square nails but the nail tech kept filing them round. When I complained, she said, “Don’t get bent out of shape!”
10. Getting shellac nails saves me a lot of scratching my head when I used regular polish. No chips here!
11. I wanted to get nails like Flo Jo’s but longer. The nail tech said, “So you want track tips?”
12. The nail salon was having a sale on dip powders so I decided to take the plunge and get dipped nails for the first time.
Nail Salon One-Liners
13. I guess you could say this nail salon is très chic!
14. They call me the queen of extra-long stiletto nails.
15. Uh oh, looks like I chipped a nail opening this pickle jar!
16. How am I supposed to function for two weeks between nail appointments?
17. I swear my nails grow twice as fast as normal people’s.
18. Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning cup of coffee and gotten a manicure.
19. I’m not just making small talk—I really do come here every week!
20. Um, yes, I’ll have a venti iced latte and a gel manicure please.
21. Alexa, cancel all my plans. It’s spa night!
22. Ugh, broke a nail opening this La Croix. Tragic!
23. Is it bad that I recognize all the nail techs by name here?
24. *hair flip* Oh, these? Just my natural nails, love.
25. Nails on fleek, lashes on flick, yeah I’m feelin’ chic!
Best Nail Salon Jokes
26. A woman went to get a manicure but brought her own tools instead of using the salon’s. The nail tech stopped her and said, “Ma’am, you can’t bring your own pedicure.”
27. A man walked into a nail salon and asked for a fill-in on his acrylics. The receptionist looked confused until he explained, “I’m an undercover cop infiltrating a drug ring and I need to keep up appearances!”
28. A woman was complaining to her nail tech that the music in the salon was too loud. The tech said, “Sorry ma’am but we need the hip hop to do the dip pow!”
29. Why don’t vampires get their nails done? Because they’re always in a cryptic mood!
30. How did the nail polish remover lose its job? It got fired for acetone misuse.
31. Why was the nail salon worker fired on her first day? She kept buffing the tips!
32. How do you organize a space-themed nail salon party? You planet.
33. Why was the nail tech fired from the salon? She kept pushing people’s cuticles.
34. What do you call a fortune teller who does nails on the side? A manicurist.
35. How does a nail tech practice martial arts? With manicure moves!
36. I asked the nail salon receptionist if they offered pedicures. She said, “We offer pedicures on request but we recommend getting both manis and pedis—that way it’s perfectly balancicured!”
37. What do you call acrylic nails that refuse to stick? Shelf-ish!
38. My nail tech talked me into getting stiletto nails. Now all I do is stab myself accidentally!
39. I went to a new nail salon called Level 10. It focuses on getting you to your next level in life. Your first visit is a “Level 1” package, next is “Level 2” and so on. I guess you could say they take your nails to the next level!
40. What’s a nail tech’s favorite kind of tea? Mani-cure!
41. My nail polish collection is out of control. I polish the shelves and rotate the colors seasonal, but I’m just lacking any form of lacquer discipline.
42. I asked the nail tech for an avant-garde look with 3D art and she just glued random things on my nails. Now I’m really grasping at straws trying to find the vision!
43. What did the nail say to the finger? I got your back!
44. My nail salon started offering glass nails, which are literally made of tiny glass shards glued to your nails. Talk about taking extra to the next level—these are for the ultra daring!
45. I decided to get my nails done with Chanel logos all over them because I’m fancy like that. But now everyone keeps asking if they’re fake!
46. I swear my nail salon is getting so bougie—they added a juice bar, free massages, and now you can get a champagne pedicure!
47. Why did the nail salon go out of business? All the techs kept buffing tips instead of nails.
48. My nail tech said she could give me Kardashian nails if I wanted. I ended up with literal photos of the Kardashians glued to my nails!
49. Why don’t cats get their nails done? They prefer scratching posts over manicures!
50. How did the snail pay for his pedicure? On his shell card!
51. What do you call a group of friends who get weekly manicures together? Finger food!
52. Why couldn’t Cinderella get a manicure? Her fairy godmother was on a break.
53. What’s a vampire’s least favorite nail polish trend? Stake nails!
54. My nail tech offered a new charcoal activated gel polish that’s supposed to pull toxins from your nails. All it did was leave me with dirty looking nails!
55. How does a snowman get a manicure? With frosting tips!
56. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite nail art design? Straw-berry shortcake!
57. Why do trees hate getting their leaves done? They prefer to be evergreen!
58. My nail tech convinced me to try their new 24k gold foil polish, and now my fingertips look like disco balls!
59. What did one stiletto nail say to the other? We gotta stick together!
60. Why do bees get pedicures? To show off their bee-autiful toe beans!
61. How did the power go out at the nail salon? Their generator ran out of polish!
62. My nail tech asked if I wanted square or coffin nails. I said, “Coffin please, that way I can be dead inside when I inevitably break them!”
63. What instrument do nail techs play? The buffing saxophone!
64. Did you hear about the nudist who opened a nail salon? It offers free tip polish with every service!
65. Why don’t eggs get manicures? They’re good at self-shellac!
66. What’s a shark’s favorite nail trend? Jawsome chrome nails!
67. Why couldn’t the skeleton get a fill-in? He didn’t have any nails!
68. How does a nail polish bottle search the internet? Chrome alum!
69. What dance move do nails do? The cuticle shuffle!
70. Why don’t palm trees go to the nail salon? They prefer pedicures.
71. How does a highlighter get an ombré manicure? With gradient tips!
72. My nail tech said she could give me claws like Wolverine. I ended up bleeding all over her salon!
73. What’s a mummy’s favorite nail trend? Cobweb tips!
74. Why was the nail salon employee fired? For dipping into the till!
75. How do vampires pay for nail services? In crypt-o-currency!
