Mop Puns
- I bought a new mop to clean my floors. You could say it was a clean sweep.
- My friend asked to borrow my mop. I told him he could have it on loan.
- Did you hear about the janitor who entered a mop into a beauty contest? It swept the competition!
- I was going to tell a joke about a mop, but it was too clean for this website.
- What do you call a mop that plays music? A hip-hop!
- My mop is very judgmental. It’s always casting shade.
- What do you call a mop that’s been knighted? Sir Swabs-a-lot!
- What do you call a mop that’s afraid of heights? A cry-pole!
- A mop walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.”
- Did you hear about the janitor who was caught sleeping on the job? He was taking a mop nap.
- A mop and a broom got married. It was a clean sweep!
- My mop has great dance moves. You should see it bust a swab.
- What did the janitor say when he lost his mop? This really sweeps!
- I was going to tell a joke about a dirty mop, but it was just too filthy.
- What do you call a mop that loves boxing? Muhammad Swab!
Mop One-Liners
- I mop to my own beat.
- My mop is a real neat freak.
- This mop is soaked!
- Mop the floor? More like bore the floor!
- Mopping ain’t my cup of tea.
- This mop is dripping with excitement!
- My mop doesn’t appreciate a dirty joke.
- Mop life chose me.
- Once a mop, always a mop.
- Mop it like it’s hot!
- Mopping ain’t for the faint of heart.
- My mop has swept me off my feet!
- This mop is a real pain in the floor!
- Mop it up, buttercup!
- You can’t mop up these bad vibes.
Best Mop Jokes
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A man walked into a hardware store and asked for a new mop. The clerk showed him their selection and he settled on a nice microfiber mop with a sturdy aluminum handle. He took it home and decided to take it for a test run in his kitchen. He dipped it in the bucket and started mopping away. Suddenly the mop seemed to come alive and started dancing across the floor, splashing water everywhere. The man couldn’t believe his eyes! He had bought a hip hop mop!
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Jake worked as a janitor at an office building and took his mopping duties very seriously. He named his mop “Moprah Winfrey” and could often be heard having one-sided conversations with it as he cleaned. One day, the boss walked by and overheard Jake say “Moprah, you know I’ve always hated cleaning the bathroom most.” She worried Jake was unhappy with the job. But then he continued “But with you by my side, I know we can make that bathroom floor sparkle!” The boss realized Jake wasn’t complaining, just sharing with his trusty mop!
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Mikey was mopping the floors at the train station when a man came running by, lost his footing on the wet floor, and fell flat on his back. “Are you okay sir?” Mikey asked. “Ugh, I think so…” the man groaned. Mikey helped him up and said “You really need to be more careful around wet floors.” The man laughed and replied “Don’t worry kid, I just slipped up this time. I’ll keep mopping along!”
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Liz was excited for arts and crafts day at school. She decided to make a mop puppet by gluing some yarn on a popsicle stick for the mop strings. During the show and tell, Liz put on a little skit where her mop puppet danced around saying “Mop, mop, moppin’ up the floors. I love moppin’ more and more!” The class erupted in laughter and her mop puppet was a hit!
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The king hosted a jousting tournament and knights came from all over the kingdom to compete. Sir Mops-a-Lot was a mysterious knight no one had heard of before. Though he was clumsy on his horse, he managed to defeat all his opponents. At the final face-off, he fell off his horse but used his mop to knock the other knight off his horse too. The crowd cheered wildly when Sir Mops-a-Lot was presented the trophy.
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Sarah was dreading having to mop all the floors in her huge house. As she filled up her bucket at the sink, she suddenly heard a tiny voice say “Need some help?” She looked around confused until she spotted a tiny fairy standing on the faucet. “I’m Fiona the mopping fairy! Just say the magic words and I’ll mop your floors in a jiffy.” Sarah grinned and said “Abracadabra, mops and brooms, do my house cleaning in a zoom!” In a flash, the floors magically mopped themselves. What a relief!
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The evil king had taken over the village and forced all the peasants to endlessly mop the floors of his castle. “Mop, peasants, mop!” he yelled while eating grapes on his throne. But little did he know, the peasants were plotting a revolution. One day, the head peasant gave the signal and they pulled hidden swords out from their mops, overwhelmed the guards, and charged the throne. The evil mopping regime was overthrown once and for all!
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Jill was sweeping the dance studio floors when her favorite Beyonce song came on the radio. She started singing and dancing with her broom, swinging it around as if it were a dance partner. The janitor Chuck walked in with his mop just then and was inspired to join in. Soon they were having an epic dance battle, Jill with her broom and Chuck with his mop busting out slick dance moves across the freshly cleaned floor. Their unbridled passion for dance brought them together.
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The king and queen were despairing about their messy young twins who refused to clean their rooms. The royal housekeeper overheard and said “Your Majesties, I have an idea. Let me train two mops to march into their rooms, sweep toys into buckets, and make the beds.” The royal parents were delighted. Now every night they would hear the ‘stomp stomp’ of the mop army tidying the rooms as the twins slept!
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Bobby loved mopping at his fast food job because he could slide across the floor. One day his boss caught him busting dance moves with the mop. To Bobby’s surprise, he wasn’t fired, instead his boss said “With moves like that, you should be our new mascot!” Now Bobby delights kids while dancing around in the Moppy Meal Mop costume. He gets to mop AND dance!
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The aliens had come down to earth and were wreaking havoc with their laser guns. The president deployed the elite mop squadron, knowing their mops had been engineered to defend against extraterrestrial threats. The squad rushed in spinning and swinging their mops in flying formations. The aliens didn’t stand a chance against the perfectly choreographed mop acrobatics and retreated in defeat. Earth was saved thanks to the brave mop squadron.
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Jane was surprised when her new self-wringing mop started talking to her while she cleaned. “Make sure to get in the corners!” it said in a squeaky voice. “Be extra thorough over here!” it said when she mopped the kitchen. While Jane found it odd, she had to admit the mop gave good advice. Her floors never sparkled so much! She named the chatty mop Mr. Clean.
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Rob was a ruthless mob boss who took out his enemies by tying them up and mopping them to death. His weapon of choice was a heavy industrial mop called The Pulverizer. Rob would menacingly swirl the giant mop around, building up centrifugal force before releasing its lethal cleaning power on the poor soul’s head. The cops could never pin the gruesome moppings on him due to lack of evidence. For now, Rob’s mob reigns supreme.
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Mop Wars Episode 4: A New Mop
The galaxy is in turmoil. Rebel mops have won a major victory against the evil Empire by destroying their powerful Death Mop space station.
On the remote swamp planet Dagobah, Jedi mop master Yopda teaches young mopwan Luke Swabwalker the ways of the Mop Force. “Your destiny lies along a different path than mopping floors,” he tells Luke.
Under Yopda’s tutelage, Luke begins his mop training but struggles with the Dark Side of the Mop. Will he learn the ways of the Mop Force in time to stop the Empire’s new mop weapon, the Mop Star?
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Professor Moppleson was on the verge of a brilliant invention – mops that could mop all by themselves. He had stayed up night after night perfecting his self-wringing, self-cleaning, self-automated mops until finally they were ready. At the unveiling ceremony, the professor stood before the audience with great excitement. “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the automation of the future! A world without tired hands and dirty floors! I give you…the robomop!” The curtains dropped only to reveal two standard mops just laying there. Robomops? More like regular mops!
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Jake wrung out his mop and surveyed the prison floors with pride. He had been the sole janitor at Calhoun Penitentiary for over 20 years, sweeping up after the nastiest criminals. But he guarded a dark secret – he was plotting the ultimate jailbreak with the help of his trusty mops. During night rounds Jake slyly used his mops to swipe security keycards and collect contraband for the criminals. Finally the night came when mops opened all the cells instead of cleaning the floors. And off they all escaped!
