Lip balm Puns
1. I was feeling chapped, so I asked my friend if I could borrow her lip balm. She said, “Sure, you can chap my sticks anytime!”
2. I entered my homemade lip balm in the county fair. But I lost to a girl who made hers with bee wax. Talk about a stinging defeat!
3. My lips were dry and I realized my lip balm was empty. I guess you could say I was in a chap stick.
4. I was looking for my favorite lip balm flavor, strawberry. But the store was all out. I guess you could say they were having a strawberry chap stick shortage.
5. I accidentally put on way too much lip balm. You could say I over did it with the chap stick.
6. I dropped my lip balm on the sidewalk and now there’s fuzz and dirt stuck to it. You could say it’s a chap stick catastrophe.
7. I was really craving some lip balm, so I begged my sister to let me use hers. She said, “Quit your chap stick fiending!”
8. My friend got sunburned lips at the beach. I told her she needed some serious chap therapy.
9. I’m so addicted to lip balm, I apply it like 50 times a day. You could say I have a chap stick habit.
10. I ran out of lip balm and my lips are so chapped they’re bleeding. This chap stick shortage is no joke!
11. I bought a lip balm labeled “Minty Menthol” but it barely had any scent at all. I guess you could say it was a mint chap myth.
12. I was looking for some lip balm with SPF protection but couldn’t find any good options. I’m tired of this chap stick disappointment!
Lip balm One-liners
13. My lips may be chapped, but at least I’m ready to smooch!
14. Free lip balm samples? Don’t mind if I help myself to a few…dozen.
15. Are my lips bleeding or just really glossy?
16. Who needs lip injections when you’ve got lip balm?
17. shiny lips in winter = This girl knows how to chap stick.
18. New lip balm, who dis?
19. I put my lip balm on one leg at a time, just like everyone else.
20. I’m fluent in over 6 lip balm brands.
21. My precious! *kisses lip balm*
22. Red alert, I’ve lost my lip balm!
23. Lip balm doubles as highlighter, right?
24. Does lip balm count as a food group?
25. My autobiography: Tale of a Lip Balm Addict
26. New phone who dis? Nope just my lip balm ringin’.
27. Lip balm applied…and for my next magic trick!
28. Roses are red, lip balm is slick, My lips aren’t chapped, ChapStick did the trick!
29. Don’t talk to me until I’ve applied my lip balm.
30. I’m not high maintenance, I just require constant lip moisture.
Best Lip balm Jokes
31. My friend was looking for a new lip balm and asked me for a recommendation. I told her she should try the new Smashbox brand called “Puckered Up.” I heard it really seals in moisture and keeps your lips kissably soft for hours. She tried it and came back a week later furious. Apparently the name “Puckered Up” was false advertising. She met a cute guy and tried to kiss him, but her lips were so stuck together from the lip balm she couldn’t pucker them at all!
32. A woman was pulled over for reckless driving. When the officer approached her window, he saw she had dozens of opened lip balms strewn across her dashboard. She quickly explained, “Before you say anything, I know this looks bad officer but I have extremely chapped lips and I can’t focus on driving until I’ve tried every single one of these balms!” The officer peered into her car, shook his head and said, “Ma’am, you can’t just go barreling down the highway trying every ChapStick, Lip Smacker and unlabeled tin you come across. Let this be a warning and invest in some driving mints instead.”
33. A woman walked into a lip balm specialty store called “Kiss of Smooth” and asked the sales attendant, “Do you have anything in a kiss-proof formula? I want my lips to stay perfect when I lock lips on date night.” The attendant smiled knowingly and replied, “Of course, our new Smudge-Free Shimmer balm guarantees your lips stay sealed and dazzling during any kissing session. And for just $5 more, we offer an anti-feathering upgrade which prevents those dreaded fuzzy lip lines.” The woman slammed her fist on the counter, “Darn it, no! I need something that keeps my lipstick looking flawless while avoiding HIS kissing! Where’s your Reject His Advances But Keep Your Fabulous Pout line??”
34. A man stormed angrily out of a lip balm shop. His buddy chased after and said, “Whoa whoa, what happened in there?” The disgruntled man fumed: “I asked that shopkeeper what lip balm would best withstand my wife’s incessant nagging and constant complaining without drying out my lips. And you know what he suggested? Some garbage called Nag-Be-Gone! Supposedly it forms a “Nag-Repellent Sheen” that “redirects nagging energy away from lips.” What a fraud!”
35. A woman addicted to lip balm tried to sneak in various lip products into her carry-on luggage before a flight. But airport security caught her trying to smuggle no less than FIFTEEN lip balms. Embarrassed, she stammered “I uh, have very dry, cracked lips that require constant moisture and uh, mid-flight touch ups.” One TSA officer eyed her bulging suitcase pockets and remarked: “I’ve heard every excuse under the sun ma’am but ‘whether lips’ is no excuse for this lip balm trafficking operation.”