Light Bulb Puns
1. What do you call an unreliable lightbulb? A dim bulb!
2. Want to hear a joke about electricity? I doubt you’d get amped for it since most people aren’t very bright.
3. Did you hear about the claustrophobic light bulb? It was afraid of being cooped up inside a lamp.
4. I bought a discounted light bulb yesterday. People told me it wasn’t very bright.
5. What did one light bulb say to the other? I love you a whole watt!
6. Why can’t you tell a joke to a fried egg? It might crack up!
7. I heard two light bulbs got married. The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was brilliant!
8. What do you call a lazy electrician? Sparky.
9. I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
10. A neutron walks into a bar and asks “how much for a drink?”. The bartender replies “for you, no charge”.
11. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? The same middle name.
12. I used to have a fear of hurdles. But I got over it.
Light Bulb One-Liners
13. How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes three wires to do it!
14. People say changing a lightbulb is easy, unless it’s in the oven.
15. I changed a lightbulb with my hands today; now that was a bright idea!
16. I briefly dated a lightbulb once, but it just wasn’t very bright.
17. Lightbulbs create bright ideas – but you have to be willing to connect the wires!
18. I heard CFL lightbulbs could talk. There was just one twist: They were very dim-witted.
19. If changing lightbulbs is so easy, why hasn’t my wife done it yet?
20. I’m no electrician, but changing that lightbulb was a very enlightening experience for me.
21. How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
22. I read my horoscope today and it said I would come up with new bright ideas. Funny, I’ve just been sitting here changing lightbulbs.
23. Why couldn’t the fused light bulb give his valedictorian speech? His mind went completely blank.
24. I’m so dumb, it took me two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
25. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
26. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
Best Light Bulb Jokes
27. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a really long time since the light bulb has to want to change.
28. A new electrician gets a service call to replace a broken lightbulb. He goes up the ladder, changes the bulb, and sees another lightbulb a bit further down that’s also burned out, so he changes that one too. When he climbs down, his boss asks what the charge will be for the client.
“That will be $300,” says the electrician.
“What? To change two lightbulbs?”
The electrician shrugs. “That’s right – $1 for changing the bulb, and $299 knowing which bulb to replace.”
29. Sick of working long days in service of Thomas Edison’s lightbulb business, an exhausted assistant finally loses it and shoves his boss out an open window. Seeing Edison fall five stories to a messy landing, the horrified assistant shouts out the window, “Oh no! I’ve really illuminated the problem now!”
30. What did one bulb say to the other? “I love you a whole watt!” The other replied “Ohm my, you’re making me blush!” Sparks flew, and soon there was a whole current flowing between them. Their love was truly lights-changing.
31. Did you hear about the spunky young LED who felt melancholy after being ghosted on all his dating apps? His friends tried to console him: “Don’t worry buddy, your Match might be just around the corner.” But he just sighed and said “I feel so dim and unattractive. Everyone seems to prefer warmer tones.”
32.Why did the lightbulb enroll in medical school? It had a burning desire to be lit! After dedicating years of hard study and sacrifice, Dr. Light E. Bulb is now the most radiant doc around with a glowing reputation for excellence! His office positively illuminates all who enter to receive his brilliant diagnoses!
33. An ambitious engineer spent years working on a revolutionary new lightbulb that lasted decades before needing to be replaced. But try as he might, no company wanted to manufacture or distribute his ingenious everlasting bulb: the eternal lightbulb was just too ever-lasting for the annual earnings report. And thus went out a bright idea whose time had not yet come.
34. Sick of basic lightbulb jokes, two clever bulbs switch up the formula: How many conservatives does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they fear change even when it makes the world brighter. How many greedy CEOs does it take to change a lightbulb? Hundreds – one to actually do it, and the rest claiming credit. Ohm I’m a genius, what a bright audience! Please don’t screw me into a socket for those – they’re just jokes to lighten up this dim era in history!
35. An enthusiastic inventor spent ages creating a special potato lightbulb that would never burn out. But try as he might, he just couldn’t get the eye-deer to light up.
36. Why can’t Miss Philippines win the Miss Universe pageant? Because nobody saw the light.
37. Why wasn’t the broken light bulb hired as a bartender? Because it was too dim for the job!
38. Why was the light bulb depressed? His life was too dim.
39. Why was the socket so frustrated? The light bulb just wasn’t that bright.
40. How do you change one stubborn light bulb? You don’t! Some bulbs you just have to throw out if they refuse to change.
41. Why was the light bulb so full of himself? He had a big ego and thought he was the brightest bulb around. His friends tried to enlighten him that there are other qualities just as illuminating as raw intelligence – like kindness, openness and humility – but to no avail. The arrogant little glowworm just thought he was too good for their advice.
42. Why was the little lightbulb expelled from bulb school? He always hogged the spotlight for himself because that beamer was never taught to share the stage! Eventually the Headmaster had enough. “Dim your primadonna light or pack your bags!” So now Fade is homeschooled.
43. What’s the silliest thing a lightbulb can say? I’m bushed! Haha, as if they could get tired – no limbs to use for physical activity means no muscle exhaustion is possible! Such a dim-bulb joke 😉 Anthropomorphosis of household appliances sure does crack me up!
44. Ok, how about one more: why do lightbulbs make the best meditation teachers? They really know how to focus and enlighten you! LOL oh Gosh I’m too much for myself, excuse my dim humor tonight!
45. Q: How do two electricians greet each other?
A: WATT’S UP!
46. Q: Why did the lights go out?
A: Because they liked each other!