75 Hysterical Leprechaun Jokes

Leprechaun Puns

1. What do you call a tiny Irishman who commits crimes? A leprecon!
2. Why don’t leprechauns ever get lost? They always follow the rainbow!
3. How does a leprechaun craftsman fix a hole in clothing? With a wee needle and thread!
4. Why do leprechauns love to dance? They like to jig!
5. What do you call a leprechaun who leads an army? A leprecommander!
6. Why don’t leprechauns wear high heels? They prefer wee little shoes!
7. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they’re always a little short!
8. How does a leprechaun keep his pants up? With a shamrock belt!
9. What do you call a leprechaun who skips work? A truant little gnome!
10. Why don’t leprechauns take math tests? They always drop out of school!

Leprechaun One-Liners

1. I tried to catch a leprechaun yesterday, but he was too quick and got away!
2. Leprechauns and four-leaf clovers go together like peas and carrots.
3. Never trust a leprechaun who says he’ll lead you to a pot of gold.
4. Leprechauns love to dance, drink, and play tricks – they really know how to have a good time!
5. If you’re looking for gold at the end of the rainbow, you better beware of the sneaky leprechaun guarding it!
6. Make sure to lock up your Lucky Charms if you don’t want any leprechaun visitors at night!
7. You can always find a leprechaun if you follow the sound of cheerful whistling.
8. Leprechauns may be small, but they pack a lot of magical mischief in their little bodies!
9. With their red beards and green outfits, leprechauns really stand out in a crowd!
10. If you want to catch a leprechaun, use a trap made out of four-leaf clovers – they can’t resist them!

Best Leprechaun Jokes

1. A man went golfing and found himself in a terrible quandary after hitting his ball into the woods. Just as he was about to give up the search, a leprechaun appeared and said, “I’ll get your ball on one condition – you must marry one of my three beautiful daughters.”

   The man quickly agreed and the leprechaun pointed out three women of exceptional beauty, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. “In order to get your ball back,” the leprechaun said, “you must say ‘I do’ to one of them.”

   The man weighed his options and chose the brunette. The happy couple were quickly married and the leprechaun handed over the golf ball. As the newlyweds headed off on their honeymoon, the man said “I know I should be happy, but I’m still sad because I had to turn down the redhead and the blonde.” At this the brunette ripped off her mask, revealing that she was in fact the redhead, and she quickly ripped off her red wig, revealing that she was the blonde as well. “You fool!” she shouted. “I’m no brunette, redhead OR blonde – I’m the leprechaun, and now your ball is mine forever!”

2. O’Reilly was making his way home from the pub when he suddenly heard a cry coming from a nearby graveyard. As he got closer, the cry grew louder and louder until O’Reilly finally located the source – a frightened leprechaun stuck neck-deep in the earth beside an empty grave.

   “Help me out good sir and I’ll repay you handsomely!” the leprechaun pleaded. O’Reilly took pity on the poor creature and lifted him out, receiving three wishes in return. Excited by his luck, O’Reilly wished for a mug that never runs empty of ale. Immediately, a large stein appeared in his hands, frothing with limitless brew. Overjoyed, O’Reilly decided to make his second wish that the leprechaun turn into a beautiful woman.

   In a flash, the leprechaun transformed into a vision of loveliness. Caught up in the moment, O’Reilly made his final wish that the woman return to his place for a night of passion. No sooner than the words left his mouth, however, O’Reilly realized the grave error he had made. The beautiful woman let out a wicked laugh and instantly transformed back into the mischievous leprechaun, who doffed his cap and vanished into thin air, taking O’Reilly’s three wishes with him.

3. McDonald was walking home late one night when he stumbled upon a leprechaun counting a pile of gold coins beneath a tree. “I’ll make you rich beyond your wildest dreams if you set me free,” the leprechaun said, “but you have to promise to let me go once I hand over the gold.” McDonald agreed and hastily untied the creature, who pressed a handful of coins into his palms before vanishing into the night.

   Eager to test the magic of his new treasure, McDonald headed straight for the pub and ordered a pint. But when he pulled out the gold coins to pay, he was stunned to see they had turned into leaves. He quickly realized the trickster leprechaun had made off with the real gold. The bartender, unamused by the attempted payment in foliage, promptly tossed McDonald out into the cold night, coin-less once more.

4. Murphy was walking through the forest when he came across a leprechaun sleeping beneath a tree, his legs crossed and hat covering his eyes. Unable to resist, Murphy carefully reached out and snatched the leprechaun’s hat before he woke up. “You took me hat!” the leprechaun cried angrily. “You must pay a price for your trickery. Now you will never be able to tell a lie again!”

   From that day on, Murphy was magically unable to fib, causing no end of problems. His wife was livid when he admitted her pie was dry. His boss fired him for bluntly stating the company’s failings. Even simple greetings got him in trouble when he was forced to tell acquaintances exactly what he thought of them.

   Finally fed up, Murphy tracked down the leprechaun and begged him to lift the curse. The leprechaun chuckled and said, “Tell me true – will you steal me hat again?” And poor Murphy was forced to admit that indeed he would, if given the chance.

5. O’Leary decided to have one last pint at the pub before heading home. But on his way out, he tripped and tumbled down a hill, passing out at the bottom. When he came to, a leprechaun was standing before him. “Lad, you’ve had quite the fall! But for a wee favor I’ll make your troubles disappear.” O’Leary, his head still spinning, agreed at once.

   With a snap of the leprechaun’s fingers, O’Leary felt his pains fade away. Tipsy with relief, he leaned in and gave the leprechaun a big kiss before heading home. But when his wife opened the door, she shrieked in revulsion, “Your breath reeks like the foul bog!” O’Leary glanced in the mirror to find his teeth had turned green and his beard had grown scraggly and matted. Only then did he realize that the sneaky leprechaun had done him no favor at all!

6. O’Callaghan decided to have one last pint at the pub before heading home. But on his way out, he tripped and tumbled down a hill, passing out at the bottom. When he came to, a leprechaun was standing before him. “Lad, you’ve had quite the fall! But for a wee favor I’ll make your troubles disappear.” O’Callaghan, his head still spinning, agreed at once.

   With a snap of the leprechaun’s fingers, O’Callaghan felt his pains fade away. Tipsy with relief, he leaned in and gave the leprechaun a big kiss before heading home. But when his wife opened the door, she shrieked in revulsion, “Your breath reeks like the foul bog!” O’Callaghan glanced in the mirror to find his teeth had turned green and his beard had grown scraggly and matted. Only then did he realize that the sneaky leprechaun had done him no favor at all!

7. O’Brien decided to have one last pint at the pub before heading home. But on his way out, he tripped and tumbled down a hill, passing out at the bottom. When he came to, a leprechaun was standing before him. “Lad, you’ve had quite the fall! But for a wee favor I’ll make your troubles disappear.” O’Brien, his head still spinning, agreed at once.

   With a snap of the leprechaun’s fingers, O’Brien felt his pains fade away. Tipsy with relief, he leaned in and gave the leprechaun a big kiss before heading home. But when his wife opened the door, she shrieked in revulsion, “Your breath reeks like the foul bog!” O’Brien glanced in the mirror to find his teeth had turned green and his beard had grown scraggly and matted. Only then did he realize that the sneaky leprechaun had done him no favor at all!

8. Tommy was walking home late one night when a leprechaun jumped out from behind a tree and exclaimed, “Ah, I’ve caught you! Now you have to grant me any one wish.” Thinking quickly, Tommy replied, “I wish that you would turn into a beautiful woman and share your pot of gold with me.” With a twirl of his finger, the leprechaun transformed into a gorgeous blonde and led Tommy back to her cottage.

   After a night of passionate romance, the leprechaun whispered, “That was magical…now about my pot of gold.” “What gold?” laughed Tommy. “You turned into a human, which means you lost all your powers – including your gold!” And with that, Tommy strolled away, leaving the stunned ex-leprechaun behind.

9. O’Malley was walking along a country road when he came across a leprechaun feverishly digging in the hedgerow. “What are you doing?” asked O’Malley. “Me pot o’ gold has fallen through a hole here. If ye help me find it, I’ll give ye three wishes!” O’Malley readily agreed and together they searched until the pot was found.

   For his first wish, O’Malley asked for a mug of ale that would never run dry. His second wish was for a meal that would constantly replenish itself. His final wish was to be irresistible to women. The leprechaun granted all three and went on his way. Later that day in the pub, O’Malley put his new gifts to the test. His mug kept overflowing, the plate of food never emptied, and soon he was surrounded by adoring ladies.

   After a night of drinking and carousing, O’Malley stumbled home, only to find his house empty and a note from his wife saying she had left him. Only then did he realize that “irresistible” also meant that even his wife couldn’t resist leaving him.

10. McCarthy decided to take a shortcut through the woods on his way home from the pub, when he came across a fairy ring with a leprechaun dancing merrily inside. Entranced by the sight, McCarthy stepped into the ring to join the dance. He awoke the next morning sprawled at the base of a tree stump with a splitting headache, his clothes torn and tattered. His shoes were missing entirely. But his pockets were inexplicably stuffed with cabbage. “That’s the last time I accept a dance invitation from a leprechaun!” he vowed.

11. McGuinness was walking down a country lane when he encountered a weeping leprechaun. “Why the long face?” asked McGuinness. “Oh sir,” the leprechaun sobbed, “me pot o’ gold has been stolen! Without it, I’ll lose all my magic powers!” Moved by the pitiful creature’s plight, McGuinness vowed to get the gold back. He followed the thief’s trail through fields and bogs until he successfully retrieved the pot.

    The grateful leprechaun rewarded McGuinness with three wishes. First he wished for riches, then for unmatched musical talent, and finally for everlasting youth and health. The leprechaun granted all three wishes in an instant. For years afterward, McGuinness lived a long and prosperous life, eventually passing away peacefully at the ripe age of 237 – proof that leprechauns truly do possess magical powers!

12. Seamus was walking home from the pub late one night when he came across a leprechaun fluttering about in distress. Being in high spirits after a few pints, Seamus jokingly lunged and “caught” the leprechaun in his hands. To his astonishment, the little creature spoke. “Ya got me fair and square! Let me grant ye three wishes.” Seamus, amused but skeptical, wished first for a bottomless pint. The leprechaun produced a magical glass that never emptied of Guinness. Growing excited, Seamus wished next for a meal that would constantly replenish itself. A heaping plate of beef stew appeared. For his final wish, Seamus longed for a pot of gold to set himself up for life. But the leprechaun only chuckled, then vanished in a puff of green smoke – along with Seamus’s two other wishes.

13. Duffy was walking home late one night when a leprechaun jumped out of the hedges and implored him for help. “Me pot o’ gold has fallen down that hole and I canna reach it. Help me retrieve it and I’ll make ye rich!” Duffy peered down the hole but saw only darkness. Knowing leprechaun gold could set him up for life, he hurriedly fetched a rope and lantern. After much trouble he fished out the pot, but when he turned to claim his prize the leprechaun was gone. His pockets turned inside out, Duffy realized the tricksy sprite had already robbed him blind during the rescue!

14. O’Connor was returning from the pub late one night when a leprechaun sprang out from the shadows. “Shhh! Don’t tell the others where I’m hidin’ my gold!” he said, pressing a finger to his lips. “Come back here tomorrow so I can show ye the spot meself – then we’ll split it fifty-fifty.” Unable to believe his luck, O’Connor returned the next day to find an enormous pile of gold coins beneath a tree. As he scooped the cache into his pockets, however, the crafty leprechaun appeared and said “Sorry, lad! This was all a trick to teach ye not to be so greedy. Be off with ye now!” And with that, the gold vanished before O’Connor’s eyes.

15. Houlihan’s cows were not producing milk, so he decided to consult the wise old leprechaun that lived atop the hill. “T’will cost ye a shillin’ for me advice,” said the leprechaun. Desperate, Houlihan paid up. “Where yer cows sleep, there lies a crock of gold. Share some coins with the cows as payment and their milk will flow freely again.” Houlihan followed the advice, and sure enough the cows gave abundant milk. Months later, however, his luck ran dry once more. Returning to the leprechaun, Houlihan was told: “Beneath the crock was another crock with my true gold. Your payment lies there unclaimed, because greed begets greed.”

16. Cooney decided to take a shortcut home through an abandoned quarry. As he turned a corner, he heard coins clinking and spied a leprechaun counting a pile of gold on a rock. Cooney shouted “Aha!” and lunged to grab the gold, but the leprechaun nimbly darted away. Incensed at having his stash raided, the leprechaun shook his fist and cursed, “From this day forth, whenever you reach into your pocket, all you’ll pull out is a hand!” And true enough, when Cooney thrust his hand into his trousers, all he got was a fistful of fingers. Only then