Crushed Angel Puns (15)
1. Why was the angel depressed after getting crushed? It really winged him!
2. What do you call an angel that got run over by a steamroller? A flattened seraphim!
3. How did the angel look after being crushed under a falling pillar? Like a pancake with wings!
4. Why couldn’t the crushed angel get off the ground? He was too smashed to fly!
5. What do you call an angel that was stepped on by a giant? Squashed cherub!
6. Why was the angel so upset after being crushed? He felt flattened.
7. What happened to the angel after the 16-wheeler ran over it? It got smushed to smithereens!
8. Why was the crushed angel having trouble breathing? It got the wind knocked out of it!
9. Why couldn’t the crushed angel fly anymore? His wings were too crushed to flap!
10. What do you call an angel run over by a road roller? A flattened feather duster!
11. Why was the angel so upset after being crushed under a boulder? It really rocked his world!
12. Did you hear about the angel who got run over by a bus? It was an angel pancake!
13. Why did the angel cross the road? To get flattened by a truck!
14. What do you call an angel run over by a monster truck? Smushed halo!
15. How did the angel look after the 16-ton weight crushed it? Like a feathered doormat!
Crushed Angel One-Liners (15)
16. That angel got crushed flatter than a provolone in a panini press!
17. That poor angel – as flat as my tire after hitting a nail on the highway!
18. That angel got squashed thinner than a slice of deli turkey!
19. After that steamroller, you could scrape that angel off the sidewalk with a spatula!
20. I haven’t seen anything get flattened like that since my grandma backed over a racoon!
21. That angel is flatter than week-old roadkill on route 95!
22. I’ve never seen wings that crumpled since my kid sat on a bag of chips!
23. That angel is squished flatter than my ego after bombing a job interview!
24. That poor angel – crushed flatter than a pancake at iHop!
25. I haven’t seen anything that flat since my wife backed over my old flip phone!
26. That angel looks like it got run over by the world’s heaviest Zamboni!
27. That angel is just a pile of feathers – like a pillow after a rager of a pillow fight!
28. I swear that angel is thinner than the deli ham at my local bodega!
29. That angel is flatter than my bank account after getting my water heater replaced!
30. That poor angel looks like it got sat on by an entire offensive line!
Best Crushed Angel Jokes (35)
31. A crushed angel walks into a bar and says “ouch!” Why did it say ouch? Because it got crushed on the way over.
32. What did the angel say after getting crushed by a meteor? “I really didn’t see that one coming!”
33. How does a crushed angel call for help? On its halo phone! Too bad it got smashed in the accident too.
34. Why don’t crushed angels like rain? It makes their broken wings even harder to flap! Poor things.
35. What’s the difference between a crushed angel and a smashed fly? The fly saw it coming! Ba dum tiss!
36. How do you fix a crushed angel’s broken halo? With a halo glue stick! If only their wings were so easy to mend.
37. Why did the angel get fired after getting crushed by a wrecking ball? It couldn’t work construction with smashed wings!
38. How does a crushed angel get around? It just has to wing it and crawl. It’s not heavenly or graceful by any means!
39. Why don’t crushed angels like reading books? They always get bent out of shape! It really ruffles their feathers.
40. How do crushed angels stay so positive after getting flattened? They look on the bright side and thank their lucky stars it wasn’t worse!
41. What’s the first thing a crushed angel says after getting run over by a bus? “I didn’t see you coming!” Talk about an angel being caught unawares!
42. Why don’t crushed angels like tight spaces? It crushes their already crushed wings even more! Poor smushed things.
43. How does a crushed angel phone home? It just hits redial since it’s been calling for help nonstop since it got flattened!
44. What sits beside a crushed angel’s hospital bed? Its crushed harp and even more crushed halo! So depressing.
45. How do you make a crushed angel laugh? Tickle its smushed featherstumps! They love a good chuckle to lift their spirits.
46. Why did the crushed angel cross the busy highway? To get to the other side! Sadly it only made it halfway before getting flattened again.
47. What do you call 10 crushed angels stacked on top of each other? A angel pancake stack! Yes, it’s as horrible as it sounds.
48. Why can’t crushed angels watch movies? The tickets get crumpled by their mangled wings! Such a bummer.
49. How does a crushed angel cross the street safely? It doesn’t! Those poor things are roadkill waiting to happen.
50. Why do crushed angels make bad coffee? They keep getting grounds in the pot! Their motor skills aren’t what they used to be.
51. How do crushed angels garden? Very carefully! All those thorns are murder on their smashed limbs and wings.
52. Why was the angel depressed after getting run over by a road paver? It had hit rock bottom! Poor smooshed thing.
53. What happens when two crushed angels collide? A whole lot of groaning! Between their busted parts clanking together and moaning in pain, it’s cacophonous!
54. Why don’t crushed angels hang pictures? They can never get the frames to hang straight with their wonky wings. So frustrating!
55. How does a crushed angel eat soup? Very slowly and with lots of spilling! Spooning is hard when your hands are bent all out of shape.
56. Why do crushed angels make bad drummers? They keep dropping their sticks and missing the drums entirely! Rhythm is not their forte.
57. What’s a crushed angel’s favorite kind of music? Anything upbeat and positive to distract from the misery of being flattened!
58. Why do crushed angels make great yoga instructors? They don’t mind looking a little twisted and mangled! It comes with the territory.
59. How do you play fetch with a crushed angel? Very gently! Throwing anything fast is out of the question with their crumpled wings.
60. What’s a crushed angel’s favorite snack? Angel food cake of course! It reminds them of happier times before being smushed.
61. How does a crushed angel stay in shape? Through low-impact stretches only! Crunches and lifts are completely out of the question.
62. Why are crushed angels experts on construction vehicles? Because they have intimate knowledge of bulldozers and steamrollers! Too soon?
63. How does a crushed angel stay ahead in fashion? By always wearing the latest compression braces and bandages!
64. What’s a crushed angel’s favorite place? The spa, for some much needed R&R and TLC! The massages soothe their aches and pains.
65. Why do crushed angels make great living room rugs? Because they’re flattened and stay right where you put them! It’s kind of their only option.