Vape Puns (15)
1. I don’t mean to blow smoke, but my vape tricks are pretty lit!
2. My friend got into vaping to look cooler, but I think he just made a vapor decision.
3. I entered a vape cloud competition last week. There was a lot of haze about who would win.
4. I bought a vape pen that was defective and didn’t work. What a rip off!
5. My vape cloud was so big yesterday that people thought there was a fire at the vape shop. Talk about getting smoked!
6. I spilled vape juice all over my white shirt. People asked if I was smoking, but it was just vapor damage.
7. I’m thinking of taking up vape cloud competitions as a career. There’s a lot of money to be made in that vapor market!
8. My friend got nicotine poisoning from vaping too much. I told him not to go cold turkey all at once or it could lead to a vapeor relapse.
9. I entered a vape trick competition but lost because my smoke rings weren’t oval enough. Guess I didn’t quite make the vapor cut.
10. I’m so addicted to vaping that I’m going broke buying all this vape juice. This is one expensive puff hobby!
11. My local vape shop started a punch card loyalty program. Buy 10 bottles of vape juice, get 1 free. Vape rewards are the best perk!
12. I spilled my vape juice all over my laptop and now the keyboard is sticky. E-liquid damage is no joke!
13. I decided to quit vaping after I accidentally inhaled my friend’s cotton candy scented cloud. Too sweet for my puff tastes!
14. My parents found my vape pen and grounded me for a month. That will teach me not to leave my mods just laying around!
15. I entered a mechanical vape mod in a robotics competition. Turns out cloud blowing doesn’t count as a functioning bot!
Vape One-Liners (10)
16. My new vape mod blows clouds, not minds.
17. Friends don’t let friends vape and drive.
18. Once you go vape, you never escape.
19. Got vape lung? Nope, just chucking sick clouds over here.
20. Keep calm and vape on.
21. I’m sweating more than a vape mod in a hot car.
22. My vape budget is higher than my rent.
23. Vape Nation, represent.
24. That wasn’t a vape cloud, it was just my mixtape droppin’.
25. Cloud chaser or cloud racer? Why not both.
Best Vape Jokes (20)
26. My friend started vaping to quit smoking cigarettes. He ended up so addicted to sick cloud chasing that now he goes through a whole vape juice bottle a day! I told him at least his lungs feel better, but his wallet sure doesn’t.
27. I accidentally put 12mg nicotine vape juice in my 3mg device and spent the rest of the day higher than my biggest clouds. Moral of the story: always double check your labels before filling your tank!
28. My girlfriend surprised me with a new mechanical vape mod for my birthday. Unfortunately, the batteries weren’t properly secured and the whole thing exploded in my hands when I tried to take a hit. Suffice to say that relationship really blew up in smoke after that fiasco.
29. My mom surprised me by cleaning my room while I was out. She found my secret vape stash and threw everything away – 3 mods, 7 bottles of premium e-liquid, coils, cotton, tools, the works. When I got home and found out, I had a full on meltdown tantrum like a 2-year-old who got their favorite toy taken away. Just goes to show that addiction can make even adults act like crying toddlers!
30. I made the mistake of vaping in the movie theater because I thought I could get away with stealth hits in the dark. A few minutes later, someone shouted “Hey, who’s smoking marijuana in here?!” and I got escorted out by security. So much for subtle vape clouds blending into the fog machine atmosphere!
31. My girlfriend hated how much time and money I spent on my vaping hobby. I told her “at least it’s not drugs,” but she still threatened to leave unless I quit vaping altogether. We ended up breaking up that week and I got my first RDA to console myself. Probably for the best in the end!
32. I dropped my brand new 200W digital mod into the hot tub on accident. I jumped in after it without thinking – phone, wallet, keys and all still in my pockets! Not my finest moment. The mod was toast but at least I rescued my wallet before it got completely soaked. Dedication to vape gear can make you do crazy things!
33. I was running late to work when I realized my tank was completely empty. No time to fill up, so I tried to take small hits off my RDA instead while driving. Next thing I knew, I was pulled over getting a ticket for “distracted driving.” Maybe vaping and commuting don’t mix so well after all!
34. My friends and I organized a cloud chasing competition at home just for fun. It got so competitive that by the end we had turned all the smoke detectors off, opened all the windows and set up THREE fans pointing out just so we could keep making ever bigger, sicker clouds without choking on the vapor or setting off fire alarms!
35. I switched to DIY e-liquid to save money compared to premium brands. My first couple mixes were fine, but then I made a lemonade flavor that was so harsh and disgusting it felt like inhaling fiery acid. That put me off DIY real quick, back to forking out cash for quality vape juice now!
36. I was leaving the vape shop when someone yelled “Hey man, you left your mod in here!” and tossed it to me from about 10 feet away. Instinctively I stuck my hand out to catch it, only to completely juggle and fumble my new $150 setup. Screen shattered and tank cracked beyond repair. So much for quick reflexes!
37. I tried to impress this girl at a party with my biggest vape cloud tricks. She pretended to be into it until I caught her by surprise with a huge cloud to the face. Coughing up a lung, she called me a jerk and stormed off. Note to self: always ask permission before fogging someone out!
38. My first ever homemade coil build came out crooked and sloppy looking. Still excited to try it out, I wicked it up and took a test firing only to get scorched cotton hit that tasted so ungodly foul I almost puked. Lesson learned – looks aren’t everything when it comes to vape gear!
39. I left a bottle of nicotine salt juice in my hot car all day. Come evening when I tried to vape it, I instantly felt nauseous and dizzy. Turns out extreme heat can make nicotine salts turn harsh and oxidize into something pretty darn unpleasant! Not making that mistake again.
40. I was running late for work so I decided to set up my RDA while driving to save time. I dripped some juice at a red light without looking and ended up spilling it all over myself and my car seat. I showed up to work reeking of blueberry lemonade – so much for being stealthy about my vaping habits!
41. My roommate saw all my vape mail coming in and said he wanted to get into cloud chasing too. I set him up with a basic mod and my favorite juice to start. A month later, I found out he had been using my gear in secret to make weed vape juice this whole time! Needless to say I was not pleased and had to give him the boot.
42. The batteries in my old beater mod finally gave out after over a year of use. Since I was on a budget, I tried replacing them with some cheap knockoffs from a shady shop. I’m lucky the thing didn’t blow up in my face. Moral of the story: only use authentic batteries from reputable brands in a vape mod!
43. My girlfriend’s ultra conservative parents were coming to visit us for the first time. I hid all my vape gear and made sure the place smelled fresh, only to have my massive tower fan fall right over and smash my month-old Drag mod to pieces. So much for making a good first impression as a responsible adult!
44. I was running late to a cloud comp when I realized my cotton was burnt to a crisp. No spare wicks or wire either. In desperation I ripped part of my t-shirt off and rewicked my RDA just to have something usable! It worked surprisingly well but the judges definitely raised some eyebrows at my makeshift vaping outfit.
45. I came home hammered from the bar one night and decided it was high time to rebuild my RTA while intoxicated. I woke up the next morning to find a pile of wicking scraps on my desk, tank dumped over leaking everywhere, and tools scattered across the room. At least I didn’t burn the house down!