TV Show Puns
1. I heard Netflix is coming out with a new show about fonts. It’s called Sans of Anarchy.
2. Why did the TV show about math get canceled after one episode? It had too many problems.
3. I tried to watch a show about painting but it was a little derivative.
4. Why was the reality show about the DMV so boring? There was too much queue-television.
5. Why did the show about bakers get canceled? It had a lot of crummy plots.
6. I watched a show about electricity last night that was positively charged.
7. The new show about computers is getting great reviews but I think most of them are just RAM-dom.
8. I wanted to watch a show about knitting but it just seemed to drag on and on.
9. I tried to watch a show about lumberjacks but it was axed after one episode.
10. There’s a new reality show about the postal service but I’ve heard it’s mostly just male.
TV Show One-Liners
11. Game of Thrones? More like Game of Loans am I right?
12. The Walking Dead? More like The Talking Ted.
13. Keeping Up with the Kardashians? More like Keeping Down Dinner.
14. Breaking Bad? More like Breaking Brad.
15. Stranger Things? More like Stranger Thongs.
16. The Office? More like The Outhouse.
17. Parks and Recreation? More like Farts and Desecration.
18. Grey’s Anatomy? More like Gravy’s Gastronomy.
19. Modern Family? More like Moldy Familey.
20. Supernatural? More like Superabnormal.
Best TV Show Jokes
21. I used to watch a show about clocks but it was very time consuming. The hours just flew by and every episode kept me on the edge of my seat as I watched the minute hand slowly make its way around. You could say I was hooked and wound up for every new episode. In the end though, I realized the show just wasn’t for me – I guess I’m just not that into the seconds.
22. I tried to get into this show about construction vehicles but there were too many plot holes. The writing was sloppy at best, like it had been hastily thrown together by a backhoe. Any tension that built up fizzled out faster than a faulty jackhammer. I hammered through a few more episodes, but ultimately decided the show lacked the framework to support an engaging storyline. I excavated what I could from it, but in the end determined it was a wreck beyond repair.
23. There was a new reality show featuring competitive eaters, but it was hard to digest. In every episode they crammed in as much food as possible, chewing through pounds of the stuff. Things usually started out light, but it wasn’t long before they were swallowing massive loads, gorging themselves to the point of nausea. Most couldn’t stomach the pace and dropped out halfway through the competition. Those who remained dove mouth first into one sloppy mess after another, downing heaps of whatever was thrown onto their plates. In the end, it was simply too much to consume. No amount of Tums could settle my unease with that show.
24. I tried watching this show about bottles once, but the plot never opened up for me. The premise seemed simple enough – just shots of glass containers doing mundane things like standing on tables or falling over. No matter how long I watched though, nothing interesting developed. The bottles just sat there motionless most of the time. If they did tip over or roll across a surface it was utterly predictable and formulaic. Five minutes was all I could stand before I changed the channel out of sheer boredom. I’m still not sure what corked minds greenlit a snooze-fest like that in the first place.
25. There was a fascinating documentary series about paint drying but it was a total bust. I tuned in hoping to see in-depth analysis of different types of paint as they transformed from liquid to solid over time. Disappointingly, they just set up a stationary camera on a blank wall or piece of cardboard and let it run for hours on end. Sometimes they switched colors, but the effect was the same – just endless monotony as the paint pigments oxidized at an imperceptible pace. I marinated through a few episodes before realizing nothing revelatory was going to develop. Chalk it up as yet another show doomed to mediocrity by a thin premise that only covered up weak production value.
26. I tried watching this home renovation show once, but it was completely wallpapered over with drama. They found the most high-strung couples possible and had them take on ambitious remodeling projects way out of their skill level. It was uncomfortable seeing all the relationships slowly stripped down to the studs as the stress mounted. Every episode it was loud demolition of another marriage amidst the whirring of power tools and clouds of sawdust. By the finale, you could tell none of the homes were built on solid foundations. I guess their crazy antics made for “good” TV, but I found the non-stop hysterics totally plastered on. No amount of cute trim or molding could hide what an ugly demolition derby that show really was.
27. There was a nature show about mollusks, but it was painfully sluggish. Hour after hour of just soggy, slimy snails inching across the screen. Occasionally they rattled off a few facts about shells or slime composition, but the info was spread thinner than escargot butter. Mostly it was B-roll of the gastropods oozing along, leaving glistening trails of mucus in their wake. You could almost hear the camera operator yawning behind the scenes as they filmed in slow motion. If the painfully glacial pace didn’t get you, the excessive close-ups of their squirmy underbellies would. Let’s just say the producers scraped the absolute bottom of the barrel creatively with that shell of a show.
28. I tried watching a cooking show that used medieval ingredients, but it left a foul taste in my mouth. They based every recipe off old manuscripts, using the most bizarre and unappetizing ingredients you could imagine. Whole episodes devoted to gruel and organ meats swimming in pottage. Dishes loaded with exotic spices to cover up the fact everything was rancid or still bleeding. The chefs even wore period costumes and pretended it was all so flavorful. But nothing could mask the hard to swallow reality – the food on that show looked straight up rotten and totally unfit for a peasant, let alone a noble viewer like myself.
29. There was a reality show about competitive stair climbing that failed to raise the bar. It was just dozens of out of shape contestants huffing and puffing their way up flight after flight while judges rated their “technique.” We got all the wheezing and grunting, but none of the exhilaration of climbing to new heights. The pacing was monotonous – one step at a time with far too many landings and platitudes about perseverance. It was more of an uphill battle than riveting television. The winners got trophies but the only real prize was avoiding the descent into predictability that plagued that show.
30. I tuned into what was supposed to be an exciting police drama but was disappointed to find it completely by-the-book. The plot was just cars driving the speed limit and officers writing parking tickets. Perps stopped resisting arrest and instead politely complied when the cops flashed their badges. The detectives filled out paperwork for hours trying to crack thrilling cases of jaywalking and litter. Even the donut breaks were low key. It was like the writers were afraid to actually show any action or tension. Everything hugged the line of bland propriety. Guess they didn’t want to appear improper, though it made for painstakingly proper television watching.
31. There was a house makeover show hosted by a bunch of stick figures, but it was totally one dimensional. They’d “demo” two-walled rooms by erasing a line and call it opened concept. All their remodels used the same simplistic floating furniture that resembled crude line drawings my kid could do. And don’t even get me started on their so-called yard landscaping, which consisted of scribbling a green rectangle to represent grass. Everything about that show was phoned in – zero depth or attention to detail. The bored hosts just moved lines around for thirty minutes while calling it design. I’m no artist, but even I could tell their half-baked ideas desperately needed some color and shading.
32. I tried getting into this show about carpentry but the plot was full of holes. The characters just sat around making endless wooden panels that served no narrative purpose. Whenever someone started crafting an interesting storyline, the other actors would interrupt and demand more filler scenes of varnishing. The pace was slower than waiting for glue to dry. Midway through, it dawned on me that the writers only cared about meeting their quota of sawdust and measuring footage, not delivering quality entertainment. Clearly they needed more creative vision and less mindless drilling to plug up the plot issues. In retrospect, even the best wood finishing couldn’t polish that turd of a show.
33. There was a makeup competition show that I desperately wanted to love, but all the challenges looked like they were done by amateurs. The contestants would get these incredible face painting kits with hundreds of colors and tools. Then they’d produce the most basic, half-finished looks you’ve ever seen. I’m talking single rainbows and polka dots – my 6 year-old niece could do better. The judges would praise them like they were groundbreaking masterpieces. I always found myself yelling at the TV to blend their harsh lines and use some dimension. Don’t even get me started on their poor color matching skills. Let’s just say the quality of that show was definitely below par compared to other productions. Definite room for improvement.
34. I turned on this house renovation show thinking it would be inspiring, but it ended up being nothing but a let down. They’d take these breathtaking old homes full of character and completely gut them. Then they turned around and installed the blandest cookie cutter finishes you’ve ever seen. It happened every time – they’d rip out the detailed crown molding and replace it with budget trim. Out went the custom built-in cabinets, in came the prefab kitchen from IKEA. The gorgeous hardwood floors were covered with bargain laminate. Everything had to be grey, white, and boring. They managed to suck every last bit of life out of those places. The reveals were always hyped up, but the so-called upgrades were downgrades in my opinion. What a wasted opportunity.
35. My friend told me to watch this reality show about chess but honestly it was a total waste of time. They hyped it up as high stakes drama between top ranked grandmasters. But every match was four hours of them staring at the board making microscopic movements. Most games ended in a stalemate. The players showed less flair than the pieces they moved around. I gave it a solid try but had to resign myself to the fact it was simply too sedentary for quality entertainment. The host kept teasing upcoming episodes with “cliffhangers” where someone pushed a pawn forward an incremental space. Let’s just say by the end I was bored to tears and ready to move on to more stimulating television.
36. I tried watching this avant garde show that was just upside down images of regular programs. It gave me a massive headache trying to watch everything flipped and reversed. They somehow acquired the rights to popular sitcoms and dramas, then used editing software to vertically invert them. Visual gags became absolutely baffling. Any subtlety or nuance was lost by the bizarre distortions and contradictions created. The producers claimed it was high concept, cinematic art. For me it was more of an exercise in disorientation and eye strain. Five minutes in and I was completely turned around. Definitely required too much work on the part of the viewer to actually enjoy. Flipping the channel was the only sensible move.
37. There was a reality competition about making the world’s largest pizza, but you could tell the whole show was half-baked. For starters, they didn’t even provide the proper equipment. The contestants were given tiny household ovens instead of massive pizza ovens. Then they’d ration out a handful of ingredients and complain when the pizzas came out teeny. Trying to stretch and flatten the pathetic little dough balls into gigantic pies was downright embarrassing to watch. Everything got overworked, torn and mangled. And don’t even get me started on the awful toppings – we’re talking ketchup packets and shredded cheddar from a bag. Let’s just say that show was doughy, bland, and leaving a bad taste in my mouth the more I watched.
38. I decided to check out this popular sitcom but couldn’t get over how artificial it seemed. The acting was beyond exaggerated, with the performers grinning wildly and pantomiming every action. The dialogue sounded scripted within an inch of its life. The cheesy music cues told you when to laugh or feel emotional. But the phony behavior, impossible hijinks and hokey life lessons drowned out anything genuinely compelling. After a few cringey episodes, I had my fill of the canned giggles and saccharine moralizing. There was no grit or nuance to offset the acting histrionics and formulaic plot. Let’s just say sincerity was nowhere to be found on that cardboard counterfeit of a show. Authenticity evaporated under the stage lights.
39. There was a competitive tree climbing show that I desperately tried to stick with, but eventually had to leaf for good. At first I was drawn in by the promise of lofty action as the grizzled lumberjacks worked their way up massive trunks. But it turns out watching people shimmy up trees gets old fast. The pacing was glacial and there were too many long shots of them just hugging branches. Where were the high stakes and falls that put the “axe” in axe-tion? Even the finals were a letdown – slow, clumsy scooting to slightly higher marks than previous rounds. Let’s just say my enthusiasm for that show wilted quickly. I was pining for something with more climactic drama, but ended up feeling barking up the wrong tree.
40. I wanted to check out this new comedy but couldn’t get past how depressing the tone was. It was billed as biting satire but devolved into dark cynicism within minutes. None of the attempts at humor ever landed – the “jokes” were just jabs at people less fortunate or already marginalized. The storylines seemed cruel rather than comical, designed to wring out discomfort rather than laughs. The characters had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It felt like the writers weren’t insightful enough to craft actual incisive critique. Their only mode was being caustic and meanspirited. Let’s just say that bitter pill of a show was far too acerbic to be enjoyable. My spirits needed uplifting, not dousing in acid.
41. There was a reality show about competitive eating but it was tough to stomach. Each episode they’d cram down ungodly amounts of food as fast as possible. It was an absolute gorge fest – I’ve never seen so much mindless overconsumption and waste. The participants seemed proud as they gorged themselves to the point of misery. Meanwhile millions of people struggle to get enough calories. Nothing about it sat right with me. I’m all for audacious entertainment, but this crossed a line. It felt like the creators were just pandering to humanity’s worst impulses. I lost my appetite real quick. Let’s just say I ultimately found that show’s relentless gluttony hard to swallow.
42. I tried watching this “docuseries” about wild animals, but it was clearly staged. They’d present coyotes “hunting” rubber props and claim it was a squirrel. Oddly lethargic lions and bears were said to be ferocious. The filmmakers even put up laughable cardboard set pieces around the creatures and pretended it was wilderness. It was borderline insulting as a viewer – did they think I wouldn’t recognize blatantly fabricated scenes? All the key “dramatic” moments were obviously edited together later. With shoddy production values like that, they should have just gone full cartoon. The fake mockumentary approach failed miserably. Not even kids deserve such condescendingly bad phoniness paraded as educational content.
43. There was a competitive art show I attempted to watch, but the judges were clearly clouded in their critiques. Every episode they’d praise slapdash work devoid of skill as “emotionally raw and beautiful.” Meanwhile actual technical proficiency was torn down for “lacking passion.” It was mind boggling. Talented artists would render elegantly shaded portraits and get told their composition was amateurish. Then someone would throw random paint at a canvas and be told it was a masterful abstraction of the human soul. The feedback was all nonsensical art speak. Let’s just say those pretentious judges wouldn’t know quality brushwork if it slapped them in the face with a wet canvas. Their standards were lower than modern fine art can go.
44. I tried watching this fashion design show but none of the outfits they created seemed actually wearable in real life. The designers would send models down the runway wearing ten-foot trains of tulle and twenty pounds of sequins or ruffles. Daywear collections included elaborate ballgowns and body harnesses. There were “avant-garde” pieces that were essentially giant origami sculptures attached to the human body. While creative in concept, the absurd impracticality left me perplexed. Did