Spear Puns (12)
1. I asked the blacksmith to make me a spear, but he said he doesn’t make pointed remarks.
2. I was going to tell a joke about spears, but I decided to point it in another direction.
3. Did you hear about the angry spear? He had a point to make.
4. I wanted to tell a spear joke, but I don’t want to be too on the nose.
5. Spears are always so direct, they really get straight to the point.
6. Spears must get bored always being the point of conversation.
7. My friend threw a spear at me. I told him that really pierced my heart.
8. I asked the spear how his day was. He said it was pointedly terrible.
9. I told my spear some good news. He said “Well, isn’t that just spear-tacular!”
10. The spear was frustrated trying to spear fish. He just couldn’t seem to get the point across.
11. I told the spear to lighten up. He retorted that his tip was plenty sharp enough.
12. The broken spear was so sad, he had really lost his point.
Spear One-Liners (15)
13. Don’t spear me the details!
14. Once you pick up a spear, it’s hard to put it down.
15. A spear’s worst nightmare – a shield!
16. How do spears communicate? Point-to-point.
17. Spears always see right to the heart of the matter.
18. Spears make productivity pointy.
19. Spears always strike right at the heart of the issue.
20. Spears bring new pointiness to life.
21. A spear always gives the point first.
22. Spears lead every conversation to a fine point.
23. Spears know how to point you in the right direction.
24. Spears make every issue crystal clear.
25. Spears – making every point count since 10,000 BC.
26. In spear fighting, the first one to score is the winner.
27. Spears provide the highlights so you get the point.
Best Spear Jokes (18)
28. A Roman soldier walks into a bar and holds up two fingers. “Five beers, please!”
29. What do you call it when a spear gets Knighted? Sir Pointsalot.
30. Why don’t sharks like to swim near spears? They’re afraid of getting pier-reviewed.
31. How does a spear cook dinner? He spish-kabobs it.
32. Why did the spear cross the road? To get to the point.
33. What do you call a paralyzed spear? A pointless stick.
34. How does a spear play guitar? He pick-points it.
35. Why did the spear go to the doctor? He was feeling a little pointless.
36. Why don’t spears ever win races? They always spear behind.
37. How do spears stay in shape? Lots of point-ups.
38. What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
39. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
40. What’s the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
41. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
42. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
43. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
44. I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
45. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!