Redneck Puns
1. What do you call a redneck who likes math? A countrier.
2. Why don’t rednecks do reverse cowgirl? Because you never turn your back on family.
3. Why don’t rednecks double date? The family tree doesn’t branch out that far.
4. What do you call a sophisticated redneck? A hillbilly with a thesaurus.
5. Why do rednecks like having sex doggy style? So they can both watch wrestling.
6. How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
7. What do you call a redneck who lost his truck, dog, and girlfriend all in the same week? Homeless.
8. Why do rednecks love Halloween? Pump kin.
9. What do you call a redneck who goes green? A hillbill-yogi.
10. Why can’t rednecks get a headache? There’s nothing upstairs to hurt.
11. What do you get when you cross a redneck with an alien? A U-haul full of space junk heading back to the trailer park.
12. What do you call a redneck with a sheep under each arm? A pimp.
Redneck One-Liners
13. I told my redneck friend we dress up as cows on Halloween and go door-to-door saying “Trick or Milk?” He said “Y’all have some strange traditions up north.”
14. I asked my redneck buddy why there were shoes hanging from the power lines in his neighborhood. He said “Those are our air Jordans.”
15. My redneck friend got fired from the calendar factory for taking too many days off.
16. My redneck neighbor knocked on my door and asked if he could use my bathroom. I said “Can’t you use your own?” He said “Yeah, but I’m out of paper.”
17. I told my redneck friend about my crippling credit card debt. He said “Just pay it off with your debit card.”
18. I saw two rednecks by the side of the road with a broken down car. One was under the hood working while the other watched. After 20 minutes, I asked if they needed help. The one watching said “No thanks, I think he’s got it.”
19. A redneck walks into a bar and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender says “You’re not from around here, are you?”
20. A redneck’s pickup line: “Baby you’re finer than a possum roast.” Her response: “Aww, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
21. Redneck logic: The less teeth she has, the more holes she has.
22. Overheard at a redneck barbecue: “Stop peeing on the fire!” “I’m not peeing, I’m putting it out.”
Best Redneck Jokes
23. Two rednecks were driving down the road drinking beer. The driver says “Slow down, I don’t have car insurance.” The other says “That’s alright, I do.” They crash and the passenger is found dead at the scene. The driver survives and is questioned by police. He says “That’s odd, normally when we drive drunk he’s the one who gets pulled over.”
24. A redneck’s wife gave birth to twins. He named one Pete and the other Re-Pete.
25. Did you hear about the redneck who won a gold medal at the Olympics? He liked it so much he had it bronzed.
26. How does every redneck joke start? A redneck walks into a bar…
27. Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire fortune to his beloved widow? She can’t touch it till she’s 14.
28. Why do rednecks like having sex in the shower? Everything looks bigger through the glass.
29. Did you hear about the redneck who got caught peeking through windows? He was just doing a census.
30. Why do rednecks wear Confederate flag shirts? So they can find each other at family reunions.
31. Why do rednecks drive Chevy trucks? Because sheep can’t fit in the front seat of a Ford.
32. Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? There are no dental records and all the DNA matches.
33. Did you hear about the redneck who joined a nudist colony? He was asked to leave after two weeks for just standing around and staring at the sandwiches at lunchtime.
34. Why do rednecks like Halloween so much? Free pumpkins.
35. Did you hear about the redneck who sold the car he was making payments on to make the payments?
36. Why do rednecks eat beans on Saturday night? Cuz that’s the only musical they know.
37. Why do rednecks have TGIF on their shoes? Toes go in first.
38. Why do rednecks drive trucks with missing tailgates? To fit more relatives in the back.
39. Why do rednecks wear sports jerseys on dates? In case they have to identify each other afterwards.
40. Why was the redneck firing his shotgun at his satellite dish? He heard there were illegal aliens inside.
41. Why do rednecks lay carpet in their trucks? To cover up the family members riding in the back.
42. Why do rednecks have 12 packs of beer in their fridge and 24 packs in their truck? The fridge is for guests.
43. Did you hear about the redneck who was told to pee in a cup? He said “Ok but I’m not drinking from it.”
44. Why don’t rednecks take pain killers? Because you gotta read the label.
45. Why do rednecks wear high tops? More English on the tongue.
46. Why do rednecks have mud flaps on their trucks? To cover their relatives riding under the truck.
47. Why was the redneck picking through the garbage at his neighbor’s house? Identity theft.
48. Why do rednecks wear bib overalls? To keep their foreplay concealed.
49. How can you tell a redneck is married? Nicer appliances than car.
50. How do you make a redneck’s brain cell die? Stab him in the stomach.