Punjabi Puns
1. What do you call a Punjabi who loves math? A Sikh geek!
2. Why don’t Punjabis play hide and seek? Because no one can find ’em!
3. Why do Punjabis make great detectives? They’re always Punjabding for clues.
4. What do you call a Punjabi phone? A Punjaberry.
5. Why did the Punjabi go to the eye doctor? To get his Punjabscription checked.
6. How does a Punjabi try to go viral? By sharing punjabmemes.
7. Why aren’t Punjabis good at keeping secrets? They end up Punjabbling.
8. Why do Punjabis hate even numbers? They prefer punjodds.
9. What do you call a sleepy Punjabi princess? Sleepunjabby.
10. Why do Punjabis make great philosophers? They’re always punjabdering life’s big questions.
11. Why can’t you trust a Punjabi in a kitchen? They’ll end up punjabotaging the food.
12. What did the Punjabi name his dog? Punjabby.
Punjabi One-Liners
13. I asked a Punjabi if they wanted ice cream or sherbet – they said, “Surprise me!” So I drove them to Pakistan.
14. How do you fit 10 Punjabis in a Mini Cooper? Tell them it’s a free trip to Amritsar.
15. What do you call a Punjabi covered in sand? Punjabried.
16. I knew a Punjabi who loved playing the didgeridoo – we called him Randy Singh.
17. What do you get when you cross a Punjabi and an elephant? Lots of punjabphant babies.
18. How do you know when a Punjabi has been using the computer? There’s ghee on the keyboard.
19. What do you call a Punjabi who eats too fast? A gobble Singh.
20. I asked my Punjabi friend, “Wanna hear a potassium joke?” He said, “K, Singh.”
21. Why do Punjabis make bad lifeguards? They can’t swimjab.
22. Why did the Punjabi bring string to the wedding? He wanted to punjabby the bride!
Best Punjabi Jokes
23. One day a Punjabi man was crossing the desert when he came across an Arab riding a camel. He stopped him and asked, “Why are you riding this camel in the hot desert sun?”
The Arab replied, “It is as a matter of pride and tradition for us Arabs.”
The Punjabi man said, “Tradition? That is funny to me. I am a modern Punjabi man and we don’t care for tradition.” And he pulled out a gun and shot the camel.
He then said to the Arab, “Let us now see how far your tradition and pride will carry you.”
24. A Punjabi firefighter named Singh was once interviewed by the local news. The reporter asked him, “What was the worst fire you ever put out?”
Singh thought for a moment and said, “Well, there was this huge fire at the local bread factory. The flames were twice my height and the smoke made it nearly impossible to see.”
“My team and I knew we had to act fast, so we rushed in with our hoses. All around us was the hissing of burning dough and the crackling of burnt bread. Loaves were raining down from above.”
“We battled that blazing inferno for 7 hours before finally getting it under control. And let me tell you, after all that, I never wanted to see a naan again!”
25. A Sikh man named Raj goes to visit his Punjabi friend. When he enters the house, he sees his friend whipping his wife.
Shocked, Raj asks, “Why are you hitting your wife?!”
His friend replies, “It’s a Punjabi tradition to whip your wife every morning to start the day right.”
Not wanting to disrespect Punjabi traditions, Raj agrees that seems reasonable. The next morning, Raj wakes up and whips his own wife.
Later that day, Raj sees his friend again and says, “I whipped my wife this morning like you said. But she ran and told her brother, and now he wants to kill me! What should I do?”
The friend laughs and says, “That’s not a Punjabi tradition, that’s just my fantasy!”
26. A Sikh man named Singh walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch on the rocks. As the bartender pours his drink, he remarks, “That’s a mighty strong drink. What’s the occasion?”
Singh replies, “First day on the job as a taxi driver.”
The bartender nods in understanding. “Yeah, I could see why you’d need a stiff drink. Dealing with passengers all day can’t be easy.”
Singh shakes his head and says, “No, no. The drink is to help me get through my first day of driving.”
The bartender looks confused, so Singh explains, “I’m still in training, I haven’t picked up any passengers yet.”
27. One day a Punjabi man was walking through a field when he spotted a lamb stuck in a barbed wire fence.
Being a kind-hearted Punjabi, the man carefully freed the poor animal and tended to its wounds. He gave it some food and water, too.
Just then, a farmer came running towards him yelling, “What are you doing with my lamb?!”
The Punjabi man explained how he found the lamb stuck in the fence and rescued it. The farmer shook his head and said, “That lamb was meant to be a sacrifice for a religious festival tonight.”
The Punjabi man was horrified and said, “Sacrifice? No, no, no. As a Sikh, I do not believe in animal sacrifice.”
The farmer insisted, “But it’s part of my religion, you should not have interfered.”
The Punjabi man wouldn’t budge. “I cannot allow this innocent lamb to be slaughtered. However, I will gladly sacrifice a chicken or goat in its place for your festival.”
After arguing back and forth, they agreed the man would offer a goat for sacrifice instead. As the farmer led the lamb away, the Punjabi called out, “Just remember, lambs are for loving, not for ka-bobs!”
28. Two Punjabi friends, Singh and Kaur, decided to go hunting. They packed up all their gear and headed out to the woods. After hiking for awhile, they spotted a deer grazing nearby.
Kaur raised his rifle and took aim. Suddenly, Singh shoved the barrel up towards the sky just as Kaur fired.
Kaur angrily turned to his friend and yelled, “Singh! Why did you make me miss that shot?”
Singh replied, “Because think how sad that deer’s family must be knowing he won’t be coming home tonight.”
Kaur rolled his eyes. “Oh please, you can’t think like that when hunting. We need food to survive.” Singh shrugged. “True, but still I feel bad for Mr. Deer.”
Later, they noticed a large buck drinking from a stream. Once again, Kaur carefully aimed his rifle and just as he was about to shoot, Singh tackled him!
Furious, Kaur shouted, “What is wrong with you?! That was a perfect buck!”
Singh shook his head sadly. “Aiyooo so sorry, but I noticed he was wearing a wedding ring. Think of how heartbroken Mrs. Deer will be now.”
Kaur yelled in frustration, “That’s it! No more deer. Let’s go shoot some fish instead.”
Singh’s eyes widened. “Fish have families too!”
29. Three Punjabi friends decide to go ice fishing together. They gather all their gear – auger, fishing rods, bait, and take a road trip out to the lake. Once there, they cut a large hole in the ice and drop their lines in.
After fishing quietly for an hour with no bites, one friend sighs. “This lake must only have small fish. We need to find somewhere with bigger fish!”
So they pack up, drive to another spot, cut a new hole, and start fishing again. But still no luck attracting anything big.
Getting frustrated, the third friend declares they need to find a spot with huge fish. So again they move to a new area, make a hole, and cast their lines.
Suddenly, one man’s rod bends wildly as he hooks a massive fish! He struggles and fights, slowly reeling it towards the hole. The other two friends cheer him on excitedly.
Finally, the gigantic fish’s face emerges from the water. Just as the man reaches to grab it, the fish slyly says, “So how do you plan to get me through that little hole?”
All three friends stop and stare at the talking fish in shock. Then the first Punjabi shouts, “It’s a miracle! A holy fish!”
The second one exclaims, “We must be blessed to see such an event!”
While the third man crosses himself saying, “Praise be to God!”
Unimpressed, the fish rolls his eyes and mutters, “Me and my big mouth.” before escaping back into the depths.
30. One day, a young Punjabi boy was hanging out with his two friends, chatting and snacking on samosas.
“Hey,” said the first friend, “I bet this boy can’t go one week without eating a samosa!”
The second friend shook his head. “Impossible! His willpower is too weak when it comes to samosas.”
The Punjabi boy insisted, “No no, I can resist, just watch!” And a bet was made for $20.
The first few days went well, but by day four, the cravings kicked in. The aroma of samosas from street vendors taunted him. His mouth watered just picturing the crispy shells and savory potato filling.
Somehow, he resisted temptation and made it to day seven. He met his friends, excited to claim his prize. But just before handing over the cash, one friend held out a freshly-fried samosa.
“Come on, one bite won’t ruin the bet now,” he said with a smirk.
Unable to resist, the Punjabi boy took a bite…and immediately burst into tears.
Shocked, his friends asked why he was crying over a samosa.
“Because now…now I have to start this bet all over again!” he wailed.
55 Hilarious Punjabi Jokes
Punjabi Puns
1. What do you call a Punjabi who loves math? A Sikh geek!
2. Why don’t Punjabis play hide and seek? Because no one can find ’em!
3. Why do Punjabis make great detectives? They’re always Punjabding for clues.
4. What do you call a Punjabi phone? A Punjaberry.
5. Why did the Punjabi go to the eye doctor? To get his Punjabscription checked.
6. How does a Punjabi try to go viral? By sharing punjabmemes.
7. Why aren’t Punjabis good at keeping secrets? They end up Punjabbling.
8. Why do Punjabis hate even numbers? They prefer punjodds.
9. What do you call a sleepy Punjabi princess? Sleepunjabby.
10. Why do Punjabis make great philosophers? They’re always punjabdering life’s big questions.
11. Why can’t you trust a Punjabi in a kitchen? They’ll end up punjabotaging the food.
12. What did the Punjabi name his dog? Punjabby.
Punjabi One-Liners
13. I asked a Punjabi if they wanted ice cream or sherbet – they said, “Surprise me!” So I drove them to Pakistan.
14. How do you fit 10 Punjabis in a Mini Cooper? Tell them it’s a free trip to Amritsar.
15. What do you call a Punjabi covered in sand? Punjabried.
16. I knew a Punjabi who loved playing the didgeridoo – we called him Randy Singh.
17. What do you get when you cross a Punjabi and an elephant? Lots of punjabphant babies.
18. How do you know when a Punjabi has been using the computer? There’s ghee on the keyboard.
19. What do you call a Punjabi who eats too fast? A gobble Singh.
20. I asked my Punjabi friend, “Wanna hear a potassium joke?” He said, “K, Singh.”
21. Why do Punjabis make bad lifeguards? They can’t swimjab.
22. Why did the Punjabi bring string to the wedding? He wanted to punjabby the bride!
Best Punjabi Jokes
23. One day a Punjabi man was crossing the desert when he came across an Arab riding a camel. He stopped him and asked, “Why are you riding this camel in the hot desert sun?”
The Arab replied, “It is as a matter of pride and tradition for us Arabs.”
The Punjabi man said, “Tradition? That is funny to me. I am a modern Punjabi man and we don’t care for tradition.” And he pulled out a gun and shot the camel.
He then said to the Arab, “Let us now see how far your tradition and pride will carry you.”
24. A Punjabi firefighter named Singh was once interviewed by the local news. The reporter asked him, “What was the worst fire you ever put out?”
Singh thought for a moment and said, “Well, there was this huge fire at the local bread factory. The flames were twice my height and the smoke made it nearly impossible to see.”
“My team and I knew we had to act fast, so we rushed in with our hoses. All around us was the hissing of burning dough and the crackling of burnt bread. Loaves were raining down from above.”
“We battled that blazing inferno for 7 hours before finally getting it under control. And let me tell you, after all that, I never wanted to see a naan again!”
25. A Sikh man named Raj goes to visit his Punjabi friend. When he enters the house, he sees his friend whipping his wife.
Shocked, Raj asks, “Why are you hitting your wife?!”
His friend replies, “It’s a Punjabi tradition to whip your wife every morning to start the day right.”
Not wanting to disrespect Punjabi traditions, Raj agrees that seems reasonable. The next morning, Raj wakes up and whips his own wife.
Later that day, Raj sees his friend again and says, “I whipped my wife this morning like you said. But she ran and told her brother, and now he wants to kill me! What should I do?”
The friend laughs and says, “That’s not a Punjabi tradition, that’s just my fantasy!”
26. A Sikh man named Singh walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch on the rocks. As the bartender pours his drink, he remarks, “That’s a mighty strong drink. What’s the occasion?”
Singh replies, “First day