65 Hilarious Poor Jokes - Tell Us Jokes

Poor Puns

I was going to get some new clothes, but I didn’t have enough cheddar in the bank to afford them. I guess you could say I was too provolone.

My friend asked to borrow $20. I told him “I’m brie-roke right now, I don’t have any money to give.”
I entered a contest to win a new car but lost. I’m not surprised though, I never win anything, I have no luck at all. I guess I was born impoverished.

I tried to make some extra money by selling stuff around my house but nobody wanted to buy any of it. All my belongings are worthless, you could say I’m property poor.
I was out of clean clothes so I had to wear the same outfit two days in a row. My friend said, “Wow, you must be poor, having to re-wear clothes like that.”
My rich friend invited me to an expensive restaurant. When the check came, I didn’t have enough money to cover my meal. I had to tell him, “I’m too po’ to pay for this food.”

I was down to my last few dollars and could barely afford groceries. You could say my financial situation was steadily declining, I was getting poo-rer by the day.
My friend asked why I shop at thrift stores. I said, “Because these are the only clothes I can afford!” He said, “Oh I see, you’re on a tight budge.”
I tried to impress a girl by taking her to a nice restaurant but didn’t realize how expensive it was. When I saw the prices, I knew I couldn’t foot the bill. Rookie mistake, I’m too poor to be acting rich.

My pockets have so many holes in them that I keep losing my spare change. I guess you could say I have poor pockets.

I’m so poor I eat cereal with a fork to save milk.
I’m so poor my socks have more holes than a golf course.
I’m so poor my idea of a balanced meal is taking the expiration dates off both sides of a can.

My roommate walked into my bedroom and saw I had no bed frame and my mattress was sitting on the floor. He asked why I didn’t have a real bed. I told him, “I can’t afford one right now but I’m saving up.” He looked around at my sparse room and empty closet and asked, “So when are you going to start saving?”
I was out at a bar with some friends and when the bill came, everyone threw in cash to cover their portion. When it came to my turn I dug through my wallet and said, “Uh oh, I think I’m a little short to cover this.” My friend laughed and said, “A little short? It looks like you’re about $20 short every week!”

My girlfriend invited me over for dinner with her parents. When I arrived, her dad shook my hand and said, “Young man, what is it that you do?” I was embarrassed to admit that I was unemployed so I made up a lie on the spot and said, “I’m in real estate.” Her dad looked me up and down and said, “Really? What property?”
I went to the ATM to withdraw $20 but when I checked my balance, I saw that I only had $3.12 in my account. The person behind me in line said, “Only taking out a couple bucks today, huh?” I pretended to laugh and said, “Yep! Just making a small withdrawal.”
My little cousin was bragging to me about all the cool toys he got for his birthday. When he was done, he asked, “So what did you get for your birthday this year?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him I couldn’t afford any gifts this year, so instead I said, “Oh I got this great new sweater and pants! Want to see the holes?”

I ran into my wealthy uncle at a family party. He said to me, “Still living paycheck to paycheck I bet?” I laughed and replied, “No way, I treat myself to a nice meal between paychecks to break up the monotony.”
My friend invited me out to the movies, but when I checked my wallet I realized I only had three dollars to my name. So I told him, “As much as I’d love to see the movie, I think I’ll just read a summary online later so I can save the money for something else.”
For my birthday, my grandma gave me a card that said “Dear Timmy, I know times are tough, so I got you this card instead of a real gift. Love, Grandma.” It’s like, thanks Grandma, nothing says “I love you” like reminding me how broke I am.

I was talking to a colleague at work about our plans for the holidays. She said she was taking a trip to Italy. When she asked what I was doing, I said, “Oh you know, just enjoying a ‘stay-cation’ and drinking tap water for the holidays.” She got quiet after that.
My cousins invited me on a ski trip with their family over winter break. When I declined the invite, my aunt asked why. I told her, “Oh, I would love to come but I’m going to be busy shoveling snow for money over break to help pay rent.” She hasn’t invited me on any trips since.