Playground Puns
1. I wanted to play on the seesaw, but it was up in the air.
2. The new playground equipment was quite the swing in a different direction.
3. The slide was slippery when wet. It really got me down.
4. The merry-go-round went too fast. It made me dizzy and fell off my horse.
5. The monkey bars were too high for me. I couldn’t get a good grip.
6. I tried to cross the horizontal ladder but missed a rung. My hands were hanging by a thread.
7. The teeter totter wasn’t very balanced. My friend outweighed me.
8. The sandbox was full of crabs. They kept pinching my toes.
9. The swings went so high they nearly launched me to the moon.
10. I got stuck at the top of the slide. It was a long way down.
11. The jungle gym was like an obstacle course. I felt like a monkey swinging around.
12. The playground spinner was fun but made me seriously dizzy.
Playground One-Liners
13. Don’t drink the sand in the sandbox – it’s crunchy and gets stuck in your teeth.
14. I got hit by a swing and lived to tell the tail.
15. Teeter-totters teach you the ups and downs of friendship.
16. Knock knock. Who’s there? Slide. Slide who? Slide home safely.
17. If the slide is hot enough to fry an egg, maybe don’t go down it.
18. The merry-go-round goes round and round, kind of like my confused mind trying to pick a direction.
19. Monkey bars are a great workout once you get over your fear of falling.
20. I wanted to play leapfrog but couldn’t find a frog at the playground.
21. Parallel bars are not built for people with unparallel skills like mine.
22. Seesaws teach you that what goes up must come down – usually with a hard thump on the bottom.
Best Playground Jokes
23. Yesterday at the playground I saw a kid yelling at his friend to stop swinging so high. “If you don’t stop,” he shouted, “You’re going to swing around the top pole and never come back down!”
His friend didn’t listen and kept swinging higher and higher. Sure enough, he went right over the top of the swing set and disappeared. The first kid started screaming and ran to get the playground monitor. They both came running back, but the swing was empty. No one knew where the kid went.
Just then, they heard laughter behind them. The “missing” kid was standing there cracking up. “I can’t believe you fell for that!” he said. “I hid behind the slide as soon as I jumped off.”
24. What did the momma slide say to her baby slide? Don’t go down until I give you a push!
25. Why was the slide afraid to go down? It was chute-phobic!
26. Did you hear about the new playground they built without swings? People are calling it a swing and a miss.
27. Why did Johnny fall off the top of the jungle gym? Because he lost his grip. Why did Martha fall off right after him? Peer pressure.
28. What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
29. What did the spider do on the playground? Made a website.
30. Why was the merry-go-round sad? It felt like it was going in circles.
31. Why was the see-saw angry? Because someone was always bringing it down!
32. Why was the slide tired when it got home from the playground? It had been going downhill all day.
33. How do you make a playground more accessible to octopuses? Give it more swings and slides!
34. Where do baby swings come from? The swing factory, of course!
35. Why do elephants and giraffes never use playground slides? They’re afraid of going down!
36. Why are merry-go-rounds so lazy? They’re always going in circles instead of straight lines.
37. What’s the difference between a playground and a jungle gym? A playground has more monkeying around!
38. Why was the seesaw so difficult to ride? It was always up and down!
39. Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
40. What do you call two monkeys on a playground? Testing the monkey bars!
41. Why do birds fly over playgrounds? To avoid the swings!
42. What did one playground slide say to the other? Shall we switch places?
43. Why was the teeter-totter so exhausted after a day at the playground? It was up and down all day long!
44. Why are playgrounds always noisy? Because they’re full of little kids and chatterboxes!
45. Why was the playground equipment so noisy? Because it had a lot of squeaky swings and creaky see-saws!
46. Why did the kid bring a ladder to the playground? He wanted to go up the slide!
47. How do you fix a broken playground swing? With a swing repair kit!
48. Why was the slide always wet? Because too many kids were going down it!
49. Why was the merry-go-round forbidden from dessert? It was always spinning out of control!
50. Why was the teeter-totter so angry? It needed both sides to be balanced!
51. Where do slides like to spend their vacations? Playground resorts!
52. Why do kids love playgrounds so much? For all the swings and slides!
53. What’s a playground’s favorite drink? Lemon-slide!
54. Why do kids get dizzy on the merry-go-round? From going round and round!
55. Why did the monkey fall off the jungle gym? It lost its grip!
