Motorcycle Puns
- I wanted to get a motorcycle, but I didn’t have the guts to buy one.
- My friend got a new motorcycle but returned it because it wasn’t his cup of tea. I guess it just wasn’t his speed.
- I was going to make a joke about motorcycles, but it would probably just cycle through the same old material.
- My friend bought a motorcycle made of fruits and vegetables. It was the perfect moped for a foodie.
- The outlaw motorcycle gang called themselves the Hogs, because they always hogged the road.
- I entered my motorcycle in a comedy competition, but it didn’t make the finals. It just couldn’t get passed the first round.
- I was going to tell a joke about motorcycles, but it would probably just be a recycle of an old one.
- Did you hear about the motorcycle rider who was jailed for stealing bikes? They charged him with two counts of grand theft auto.
- My friend got arrested for painting polka dots on motorcycles without permission. They charged him with criminal miscolorization of transport.
- I wanted to make a joke about motorcycles, but I was afraid it would just be another rim shot.
Motorcycle One-Liners
- I don’t own a motorcycle, but I do own a motorhome – it’s like a motorcycle but a bit slower and much more comfortable.
- I took my motorcycle to the mechanic and asked him to check the brakes. He said, “What brakes?”
- My wife said if I buy another motorcycle she’ll leave me. I guess it’s just me and my new Harley now.
- Just got my motorcycle license. Next week I start living my midlife crisis.
- I wanted to ride my motorcycle more, but the payments took all my gas money.
- Riding motorcycles helps me relax after a long day. Road rash helps me relax after a long ride.
- They say the clothes make the biker, but one look at my jacket and you’ll know I make minimum bike payments.
- My favorite biker bar is TGIFridays because I don’t actually own a motorcycle.
- I don’t actually ride a motorcycle, I just wear the jacket because it impresses the ladies at Walmart.
- I ride my motorcycle everywhere because the bank owns it and I have no money for gas.
Best Motorcycle Jokes
21. A police officer pulled over a speeding biker and said, “I clocked you going over 120 mph. Not only is that illegal, it’s very dangerous.” The biker replied, “Come on officer, you know how hard it is for me to keep this bike under 180. 120 is actually pretty slow for me.”
22. A truck driver sees a biker stuck under his 18-wheeler. He gets out and asks, “Are you okay?” The biker replies, “Yeah, I’m fine. But I think my suspenders are broken.”
23. How does a Harley-Davidson owner make his bike sound unique? He shifts gears.
24. A cop sees a biker zooming by with a goldfish in the tank on his motorcycle. He pulls him over and says, “You can’t drive around with a goldfish in the tank, it’s a hazard!” The biker replies, “Don’t worry officer, he’s strapped in.”
25. What’s the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The location of the dirtbag.
26. Why do bikers wear leather jackets? Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
27. How are tornadoes and marriages alike in a biker’s life? First there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, then you lose your house.
28. Two bikers were riding when one noticed a pie plate wired to the other guy’s forks. He asked about it and the guy responded, “I was having trouble with wobble at high speeds so I added the plate. It fixed the problem completely.” The other biker was impressed. “Wow, what a great idea! I’ll have to try that.” He paused before asking, “Um, what exactly is a pie plate?”
29. Why do motorcycle riders make good television newscasters? They have experience with broadcasts.
30. How is a Harley-Davidson like a porcupine? They both have pricks on the outside!
31. A state trooper pulled over a speeding biker and said, “Do you know the speed limit is 55 mph?” The biker replied, “Yes, officer, and may I compliment you on how observant you are. Most patrol officers would not have noticed.” The trooper says, “Well, the radar gun gave me a clue.” The biker replies, “I bet the officers in the next county needed radar to know I was speeding too.”
32. Why do bikers wear leather? Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
- I wanted to be a motorcycle stuntman, but I couldn’t get my parents’ permission since it’s too dangerous, so I had to settle for juggling knives on a unicycle instead.
- I finally saved up enough to buy my dream motorcycle! Now I just need to figure out how to exchange all these empty beer cans for cash.
- My friend crashed his motorcycle and tried to blame it on engine trouble, but we all knew he failed the alcohol emissions test.
- I joined a motorcycle gang called the Wild Hogs, but I got kicked out for following all the traffic laws and using my turn signals.
- I love the endless open road on my motorcycle. I just wish the repo man wasn’t always right behind me.
