Lineman Puns (10)
- What do you call a lineman who is scared of heights? A low wire act.
- Why was the lineman sweaty after work? He got overcharged.
- My friend the lineman has some serious hang ups when dating. I told him he needs to get over his ex.
- What do you call a lineman who moonlights as a comedian? A stand-up comic.
- The retired lineman couldn’t give up his old habits. He still has some crossed wires.
- Did you hear about the lineman who quit to become a tailor? He wanted to try a new career sewing clothes.
- The lineman got injured on the job when he fell off a telephone pole. Now he’s got a crick in his neck.
- Why was the lineman sweating after changing a lightbulb? It was a high wattage situation.
- I told my lineman friend, “That’s shocking!” He said, “I know, it really hertz.”
- The lineman decided to go into comedy. He wanted to test the current state of his material.
Lineman One-Liners (10)
- I asked the lineman how his day was, he said “It had its ups and downs.”
- Lineman breakfast: wires and poles.
- Lineman pickup line: “Hey baby, want me to turn on your power lines?”
- Lineman motto: Maintain your connections.
- Lineman excuse: “Sorry I’m late, I got tied up on the power lines.”
- How does a lineman fix a light bulb? He gets on his high horse.
- Lineman hairstyle: Combed over the ears.
- Lineman fashion trend: Utility belts.
- Lineman’s favorite TV show: Live Wire.
- Lineman’s workout: Pole climbing.
Best Lineman Jokes (25)
1. A lineman gets a call to repair some power lines that a storm knocked down. When he arrives, he sees the lines dangling dangerously close to the ground. As he approaches, a squirrel darts out and grabs the live wire. The lineman winces, expecting the squirrel to be electrocuted. But nothing happens. The squirrel runs back and forth, dragging the power line with it. The lineman can’t believe his eyes. After working on the repairs, he sees the squirrel again. He approaches it slowly, grabs the wire and gives it a good tug. The squirrel holds on tightly. The lineman smiles and says, “Well aren’t you cute…but you better let go before you get shocked.” The squirrel looks at him and replies, “I know, but I can’t let go!”
2. A lineman is working on a telephone pole, high above the ground, when his belt suddenly snags on a live wire. Unable to free himself, he calls the station in a panic. His boss tells him to stay calm until help arrives. An hour later, the lineman is still stuck. He sees his friend working on another pole nearby. He yells over, “Hey Joe! Do me a favor and call my boss to check when help is coming!” Joe shouts back, “I already did and your boss said you should hang in there!”
3. How do linemen find their friends in a crowded bar? They use their instinct.
4. An electrician, a lineman, and a network technician meet in a bar. The conversation turns into a debate over whose job is the most dangerous. The electrician says, “I work with live wires all day long. One wrong move could mean electrocution.” The lineman scoffs and says, “I climb telephone poles 40-50 feet off the ground. Falling would certainly mean death for me.” The network tech just smiles and sips his drink in silence. The others ask, “What about you? What’s so dangerous about your job?” He replies, “I install and repair wifi routers for people working from home during this pandemic.” The lineman and electrician both shudder and say, “Okay, you win.”
5. Why do linemen make good dancers? They are great at the pole dancing.
6. Did you hear about the lineman who got fired for stealing copper wire? He was stripped of his duties.
7. My lineman friend claims he has an electromagnetic personality that just attracts women. I told him, “Quit stringing me along with that nonsense.”
8. What does a lineman say when he enters a bar? “High wires everyone!”
9. Did you hear about the overly-cautious lineman? He uses a ground wire for his internet connection.
10. A lineman walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks, “Hard day at work?” The lineman replies, “Yeah, I blew a fuse during a power outage and my supervisor gave me an earful.”
11. I asked my lineman friend, “What’s it like up there on the electrical poles?” He said, “It has its ups and downs but I’m never board.”
12. Why don’t linemen need clocks? They have all the time in the current.
13. Did you hear about the lineman who was addicted to electricity? He really needed to recharge himself.
14. Why was the lineman fired from fixing the church wiring? He kept taking the Lord’s name in vein.
15. I knew a lineman who got electrocuted on the job. He said it was a real shock to his system.
16. Did you hear about the lineman who got injured on the job and switched careers to become an Uber driver? Now he just tells people he is a former conductor.
17. Why do birds sit on power lines? To keep abreast of the current news.
18. What does a lineman say on Halloween when a kid comes to the door? ” Charge or Treat!”
19. My lineman friend claims he has a magnetic personality but I don’t find him very charming.
20. I asked my lineman friend, “What’s it like being near wires with 10,000 volts of electricity?” He shrugged and said, “It has its advantages and disadvantages.”
21. What’s a lineman’s favorite dessert? Short circuit pie.
22. I knew a lineman who said tightrope walking was nothing compared to working on live wires all day.
23. Why do linemen make bad boyfriends? They are used to being ghosted.
24. What do you call a lineman who is afraid of ladders? Steve.
25. How do linemen garden? They plant pole beans.