Honolulu Puns
1. I heard Honolulu residents like to eat dessert first. I guess they’re just following the Aloha rule!
2. My friend got injured while hiking in Honolulu. I told him he shouldn’t have gone there just to get a little Oahu.
3. I was disappointed by the beaches in Honolulu. They were too crowded and noisy. I guess I’m just not Waikiki’d out for that.
4. I entered a hula dancing competition in Honolulu but didn’t place. I guess my hips don’t Lie-hu’e.
5. The ukulele music was so loud in Honolulu it made my ears Ho’olehua.
6. The hotel bartender in Honolulu kept ignoring me. I guess I just wasn’t his Ha’iku.
7. I got a sunburn in Honolulu but didn’t mind too much. After all, it was a Kaka’ako’d experience.
8. The seafood in Honolulu was amazing. Everything tasted so fresh and Ma’ili’ili’i.
9. My friend saw a shark while surfing in Honolulu. I told him that’s just how they say Aloha in Mākaha!
10. I couldn’t find good pizza in Honolulu. The locals kept telling me to stick to ‘za.
Honolulu One-Liners
11. I’m reading a book about the history of Honolulu. It has me Hookipa’d!
12. I’d make a Hawaii pun but I don’t want to Hono-lulu you.
13. What do you call a rude person in Honolulu? A Ho’omana wannabe.
14. Why was the surfer late for dinner in Honolulu? He took too long to Kailua board.
15. How do you find the best shave ice in Honolulu? Just Wai’anae flavor stands out.
16. How do you find a party in Honolulu? Just Hau’ula along until you hear the music.
17. How do you greet someone from Honolulu? Give them a big Aloha hug!
18. How did the lei seller become rich? They strung a bunch of Pu’uwai together.
19. What do you call a delayed flight to Honolulu? A Moloka’i’d trip.
20. Honolulu is a great place to visit unless you stay near Wai’anae beaches. Those can be a little rough.
Best Honolulu Jokes
21. A tourist in Honolulu decided to get a temporary tattoo of a Hawaiian tribal sign. When she got back home she noticed the tattoo was fading quickly. Turns out it was a Wai’alae off!
22. A man was leaving Honolulu after a great vacation. At the airport, he stopped to take one last look at the beautiful island view. A security guard came up to him and said “I’m afraid you’ll have to move along sir or I’ll have to Ko Olina.”
23. A family from Arizona went on vacation to Honolulu. On their first day, the father insisted on wearing jeans, boots, and a sweater to the beach. After a few hours under the hot Hawaiian sun, he passed out from heat exhaustion. When he woke up in the hospital, the doctor said “Sorry sir, I should have told you to wear appropriate attire. This isn’t Flagstaff.”
24. Two friends were hiking near a volcano on Oahu. As they stood overlooking the lava, one friend asked “I wonder how hot that lava really is?” His friend replied “I’m not sure but we can go Ka’a’awa from here and find out!”
25. A man went on a safari tour while vacationing in Honolulu. While taking photos from the jeep, he accidentally dropped his camera near a sleeping tiger. He whispered to the guide “Aren’t you going to do something?” The guide replied “Don’t worry, that tiger is Manoa’lea.”
26. A tourist couple saw a man with a parrot on his shoulder while walking through downtown Honolulu. Intrigued, they asked him what the parrot’s name was. “This is my best friend Wikiwiki!” he said. “That’s an interesting name,” the couple replied. “Why did you choose it?” The parrot squawked “Because I’m Wiki Wiki wild!”
27. A family from Wisconsin decided to try out surfing while on vacation in Honolulu. After paddling out into the ocean for the first time, the dad stood up on his board only to instantly fall off into the water. When he surfaced, he shouted to his kids still waiting on the beach “Hey! This surfing thing is hard, don’tcha know!”
28. A local Honolulu woman was showing her friend from out of town around the island. As they drove through rural areas, the friend exclaimed “Wow, there are chickens running around everywhere!” The local replied “Yeah, that’s just something you have to get used to here. We Hawaiians just call them jungle birds.” Her friend responded “…you mean like Toucans?” The local looked puzzled and said “No, Two Cans? I don’t get it.”
29. An excited tourist couple arrived at their Honolulu hotel only to find that the room they booked was very small and cramped. Frustrated, the husband complained to the manager “I’m sorry but this room is tiny! When I booked it online it said it was offering 50 square feet of oceanfront property!”
30. Two friends were discussing possibly taking a trip to Honolulu. The first friend said he was hesitant about the long flight over the ocean. The second friend reassured him “Trust me, flying to Hawaii is safari, safari nice!” His friend replied “Not sure I Manoa ’bout this.”
31. A local Honolulu woman was showing her friend from out of town around the island. As they drove through rural areas, the friend exclaimed “Wow, there are chickens running around everywhere!” The local replied “Yeah, that’s just something you have to get used to here. We Hawaiians just call them jungle birds.” Her friend responded “…you mean like Toucans?” The local looked puzzled and said “No, Two Cans? I don’t get it.”
32. How do you find the best poke bowls in Honolulu? Just see which restaurant has the longest Punalu’u.
33. Why didn’t the angry tourist enjoy his vacation in Honolulu? He let every little thing Waialua of proportion.
34. How do you fix a broken ukulele? With a Honolulu glue!
35. Why did the surfer have a bad day at Pipeline? He got Makaha by the big waves.
36. Where do you take someone who got injured cliff diving in Honolulu? To the Kalihi-pital!
37. What happens when tourists keep driving through the same town in Honolulu? It becomes a Waipahu.
38. My friend got all dressed up for a fancy Hawaiian luau but didn’t know the dress code. She showed up overdressed and felt like a real Lualua’lei.
39. Did you hear about the angry truck driver who flipped out in Honolulu traffic? Yeah, some Hau’ula cut him off and made him Wai’anae.
40. I entered a hula hoop contest while vacationing in Honolulu but only came in third place. I guess my hips just don’t Wahiawā enough!
41. Did you hear about the surfer who got arrested on the North Shore? Yeah, turns out he was wanted for some old Waimea crimes.
42. Why was the tourist’s Hawaiian shirt so wrinkled? Because he Kahalu’u it instead of folding it neatly.
43. How do you decorate a hotel room with a Hawaiian theme? Add lots of Kalahe’o flowers!
44. Why was the Mai Tai so weak at the Honolulu tiki bar? Because the bartender didn’t Pu’u enough rum in it!
45. Why did the Hawaiian sauce taste so bland? Because the chef forgot to Waiawa’a in it!
