Fruit Puns
1. What do you call an apple that gets all the attention? A star fruit!
2. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
3. Why was the banana so upset? It was going through an emotional peel.
4. Why couldn’t the orange win the race? It ran out of juice!
5. What do you call a fake strawberry? An im-pasta!
6. How do trees access the internet? They just log on.
7. What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque.
8. How do trees get on the internet? They log on.
9. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
10. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
11. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
12. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
13. Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.
14. Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!
15. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta!
Fruit One-Liners
16. Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
17. What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
18. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
19. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
20. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
21. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
22. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
23. Never trust atoms. They make up everything.
24. A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
25. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
26. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
27. A toothbrush fell in love with a hair brush, but alas, it was not meant to be. They only had bristle romance.
28. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four doors they would be chicken sedans.
29. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
30. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
Best Fruit Jokes
31. One day, a man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for some fruit punch. The bartender gave him a punch in the face and said, “Here’s your fruit punch!”
32. Why was the strawberry sad? Because her parents were in a jam!
33. How do you fix a broken banana? With a banana patch!
34. How do you make an orange giggle? Tickle its navel!
35. What fruit is never on time? A late berry!
36. Why couldn’t the banana see? Because it didn’t have eye-peel!
37. Why was the grape such a cry baby? Because it was a whine-y fruit!
38. What did the orange say to the banana? Nothing, oranges can’t talk!
39. Why are oranges so lucky? Because they get juiced and peel great every morning!
40. How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste!
41. Why are strawberries so bad at sports? Because they’re always in a jam!
42. Why did the kiwi ask the strawberry out? Because it found it a-peeling!
43. How did the orange win the race? It ran out of juice!
44. Why was the banana kicked out of school? It was a bad fruit!
45. Why did the apple go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
46. What did the grape say when the peach stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
47. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
48. How do you fix a broken pineapple? With pine-apple tape!
49. What do you get when you cross a kiwi and a lemon? A sour little fuzzball!
50. What’s a fruit’s least favorite kind of juice? Fruit punch!
51. Why did the apple drop from the tree? Because it didn’t have enough core strength!
52. Why was the pear sad? It had a long face!
53. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine!
54. Why did the oranges get arrested? For orange skin violence!
55. What does a fruit basket and the mob have in common? They both hold cantaloupes!
56. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!
57. What fruit is always sad? Blueberries!
58. Why couldn’t the mango go to the party? Because it wasn’t invited!
59. Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice!
60. Why are strawberries always so cheerful? Because they’re berries positive!
