Dad Joke Puns
1. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
2. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
3. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
4. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
5. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
6. I used to work at a calendar factory but I got fired because I took a couple days off.
7. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
8. A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.
9. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
10. Never trust atoms. They make up everything.
11. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
12. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
Dad Joke One-Liners
13. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
14. Someone stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that!
15. I wanted to write a joke about time travel but I decided to leave that for the future.
16. I’m thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it’s only holding me back.
17. Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
18. I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. That is wrong on so many levels.
19. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
20. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.
21. I’m glad I know sign language. It’s pretty handy.
22. I’ve got an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
Best Dad Joke Jokes
23. My daughter asked me to put my car in reverse, so I drove home backwards. When I got there, she frowned and said, “Dad! I meant in the driveway!” That’s my girl.
24. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
25. I couldn’t figure out why the soccer ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
26. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.
27. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
28. What do you call a french man wearing sandals? Phillipe Philoppe.
29. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
30. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu, you just get what you deserve.
31. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
32. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
33. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
34. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
35. How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
36. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
37. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
38. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
39. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
40. I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn’t find any.
41. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
42. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
43. Someone stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that!
44. I wanted to write a joke about time travel but I decided to leave that for the future.
45. I’m thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it’s only holding me back.
46. Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
47. I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. That is wrong on so many levels.
48. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
49. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.
50. I’m glad I know sign language. It’s pretty handy.
51. I’ve got an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
52. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
53. I wanted to write a joke about time travel but I decided to leave that for the future.
54. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.
55. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.