Bunny Puns
1. What do you call a bunny with a grammar book? A punctuation rabbit!
2. Where do bunnies go to get famous? To Holly-wood!
3. Why couldn’t the bunny become a famous magician? He could only do rabbit tricks.
4. How does a bunny stay healthy? By eating lots of rabbit food.
5. How do rabbits travel? By bunny hops!
6. What do you call a bunny who does karate? A rabbit kick!
7. Why are bunnies good at basketball? They have mad hare skills.
8. What do you call a large group of rabbits? A hippity hoppity.
9. What do you call a bunny who tells jokes? A funny bunny.
10. What do you call a sleepy bunny? A rabbit napper.
11. Why couldn’t the bunny become a writer? He could only write rabbit stories.
12. How does a bunny keep their house organized? With bunny shelves.
Bunny One-Liners
13. I asked my bunny what 2 plus 2 was, he said “4 ears!”
14. My bunny is so messy, his name should be Pigpen not Peter.
15. Q: Why was the bunny late for school? A: He overslept and missed the hare bus.
16. My bunny loves selfies so much, he should be called egomaniac not Thumper.
17. Q: Why don’t bunnies make good comedians? A: Their delivery is a little rabbity.
18. My bunny writes a “hoppin’ good blog” but gets no follows, what a flop!
19. My new bunny is such a picky eater, he only likes hay in his salad not lettuce.
20. This bunny is so muscular he makes Arnold Schwarzenegger look puny.
21. Q: What do you call a super fast bunny? A: A ZOOMbit!
22. My friend got a bunny, I said “aren’t you worried it will hippity hop away?”
Best Bunny Jokes
23. A bunny wanted to be a stand up comedian, but he was always too nervous and ended up trembling whenever he went on stage. His friend told him “Don’t worry so much! Just pretend the audience are carrots.” The bunny replied “That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one facing the hecklers!”
24. A bunny was late for a very important date, so he decided to take a short cut through the woods. He was hopping quickly through the trees when he ran headfirst into a skunk! He waved his paws frantically trying to shoo the skunk away, yelling “Shoo, shoo! I don’t have time for this, I’m late!” The skunk replied “Hey, I’m in no rush here. If you stop and smell me, THEN you’ll be late.”
25. A bunny wanted to impress his friends, so he went skydiving for the first time. He got on the plane with all the gear and waited nervously for the jump. As they approached the drop zone, the bunny chickened out and refused to jump out of the plane. The instructor said “Come on, you’ll love it! Just hop to it!” The bunny replied “You can’t make me!” So the instructor opened the door, picked up the bunny, and tossed him out! As he plummeted through the air screaming, the bunny couldn’t help thinking “This is not what I hopped for.”
26. A bunny rabbit was sick of everyone making fun of him for being so small and weak. He decided to get buff, so he got a gym membership and started working out every day. He lifted weights, ran laps, and pretty soon he was ripped! Now when other animals mocked him, he would flex his bicep and say “Go ahead, feel this! Still think I’m weak?” One day a huge bear lumbered over to the muscular bunny and said “Wow, bunny, you’re pretty strong now!” The bunny smiled proudly and flexed his muscle. But then the bear poked it and said “Nope, still soft and squishy!”
27. Little Bunny Foo Foo was hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head. Down came the fairy and said “Little Bunny Foo Foo, I don’t want to see you bopping mice on the head! You better stop right now or else I’ll turn you into a goon.” But the bunny didn’t listen and just kept on hopping and bopping those poor mice. The fairy appeared again and gave him one last warning, but Bunny Foo Foo still didn’t change his ways. So POOF – the fairy turned him into a plastic garden gnome! Now he sits in the yard all day and can’t bop mice anymore.
28. A man adopted a wild bunny and brought him home as a pet. He named him Fluffles and did everything he could to make the bunny feel at home. But Fluffles just couldn’t adjust to domestic life – he kept chewing on the furniture, peeing on the carpet, and digging holes in the yard. After a few weeks of mayhem, the man cried “I give up! This bunny is driving me crazy!” He put Fluffles back in his cage, drove him to a field outside of town, and set him free. Fluffles jumped happily out of the cage, thrilled to be back in the wild. The man said “Alright Fluffles, you’re free! No more rules or responsibilities.” Fluffles turned back for a moment and replied “First my name’s not Fluffles, it’s Thunderfoot. And second, you’re a sucka for taking care of me for 3 weeks!” Then he hippity-hopped away into the sunset.
29. Three bunnies – Mopsy, Flopsy, and Cottontail – decided to plant a vegetable garden together so they would have food for the winter. Mopsy planted carrots, Flopsy planted beans, and Cottontail planted lettuce. They watered their crops, made sure they got plenty of sun, and waited patiently for harvest time. When fall came, Mopsy and Flopsy went to gather their vegetables. Mopsy pulled up all her plump, orange carrots and Flopsy had a bumper crop of green beans. But Cottontail didn’t harvest any lettuce. “My lettuce all went to seed!” she complained. “Don’t worry,” said Mopsy and Flopsy. “We’ll share our vegetables with you.” The moral of the story? Hare today, gone tomorrow.
30. An optimistic bunny kept bragging that he was the fastest critter in the forest. “I bet I could outrun a cheetah!” he boasted. “I could leave a roadrunner in my dust!” Finally the other animals got tired of his bragging. “Alright speed demon, how about a race?” they said. They lined up at the starting line – the bunny, a turtle, a roadrunner, and a cheetah. The race started and boom – the cheetah sprinted ahead immediately. The roadrunner scrambled fast after him. The turtle and bunny were left in their dust! Ten seconds later, the cheetah crossed the finish line with the roadrunner close behind. The bunny finally made it over the finish line ten minutes later, completely exhausted. The turtle was still only halfway done! Catching his breath, the bunny said “You know what, maybe I’m not the fastest animal after all. But I still beat that turtle!”
Bunny Puns
31. What happened when the bunny had to make a speech? He had stage fright!
32. Why don’t bunnies need alarm clocks? They can already wake up on time.
33. What’s a bunny’s favorite kind of music? Hip hop!
34. How does a bunny call his friends? On the rabbit phone!
35. What happens when two rabbits collide? They have a hop-on collision.
36. Why don’t bunnies ever feel lonely? They multiply fast!
37. Why did the bunny bring toilet paper to the party? In case of party poopers!
38. How does a bunny stay safe when it’s raining? It puts on its bunny brolly!
39. Why was the bunny’s report card all Fs? He kept rabbiting on in class!
40. What’s the smartest kind of bunny? A nobunny!
Bunny One-Liners
41. I caught my bunny singing in the mirror with a hairbrush again, what a little diva!
42. My new bunny likes to groom himself all day long – what a narcissist!
43. This bunny only responds to “Your Highness” – I think I spoiled him too much.
44. Q: How did the lazy bunny lose the race? A: He was in it for the hoppity, not the velocity.
45. Never ask this bunny for directions, he’ll just lead you down more rabbit holes.
46. My sister’s bunny is so muscular and tough looking, no one would dare call him cute.
47. Q: Why was the bunny staring at his phone? A: He was waiting for it to carrot vibrate.
48. This bunny loves taking couples photos with me – such a little flirt!
49. I wanted to take my bunny to the movies, but the theater has a strict “No Hopping” rule.
50. Q: How do you know when your rabbit is getting old? A: When he stops hopping and starts limping.
