Zelda Puns
1. I was going to make a joke about rupees, but I didn’t want to Triforce it.
2. What do you call Link when he takes a selfie? A shellfie!
3. Why did Link fall asleep on the job? He was working too Hyrule!
4. Why doesn’t Ganondorf ever run out of gas? He has a full Triforce tank.
5. What do you call Zelda’s home cleaning service? The Hyrule Maid Service!
6. Why does Link like archery so much? It’s his arrow-dynamic hobby!
7. Did you hear about the new LinkedIn app? It connects you with all the Zoras, Gorons and Hylians in your network.
8. What do you call an eco-friendly Kokiri? A green Link!
9. Why did Princess Zelda make a great software developer? She was skilled in Zelda programming language!
10. Why was Link depressed about his boomerang? It kept giving him the cold shoulder!
11. What do you call Link’s favorite drink? Lon Lon Milkshakes!
Zelda One-Liners
12. I guess you could say Ganondorf was…Triforcing his way into Hyrule.
13. Link really BOTW’ed me away with his latest adventure.
14. That last temple was so hard, I’mpretty much a Zelda dungeon master now.
15. Forget Super Smash Bros, Link wins this battle Hyrule!
16. I heard Zelda’s favorite band is Led Zeppelin.
17. Link was having a bad hair day, so I told him to use some Bombs to fix it.
18. Ganondorf’s favorite sport is definitely tennis, because he loves hitting aces.
19. I bet Link brings all the boys to the yard with his Master Sword.
20. Zelda really triforced her way into my heart.
21. Link was looking pretty sharp in his new tunic.
Best Zelda Jokes
22. Link walked into a bar and ordered a drink. “What’ll you have?” asked the bartender. “Just give me something with a little kick,” Link replied. So the bartender handed him a cucoo!
23. Zelda: Hey Link, how do you organize a space party?
Link: You planet!
Zelda: No silly, you just planet!
24. Link and Zelda were out on a romantic picnic. After a while, Link said “I’m thirsty, I’m going to get some Lon Lon Milk from the farm nearby.” He walked over to the farm and saw Talon sleeping near the cow pen as usual.
Link tapped him gently with his foot to wake him up. “Hey Talon, can I get some Lon Lon Milk please?” Talon slowly opened his eyes and glanced at Link. “Can’t you see I’m a little occupied MOO-ving some cows around?” Talon chuckled and went back to napping.
25. One day, Link brought Zelda a bouquet of flowers. “Oh Link, they’re beautiful!” said Zelda. “But you know, you don’t have to get me flowers every time you rescue me from Ganon.”
Link replied, “Rescue you? I just came by to change out of my work clothes.”
26. Link was struggling to defeat a Stone Talus. He tried shooting it with arrows, smacking it with his sword, but nothing worked. Just when he was about to give up, the Talus spoke: “Link, if you really want to defeat me, you’ll have to use Bombs.”
Link was shocked that the Talus could talk! He asked “How are you able to speak?”
The Talus replied “It’s simple…I downloaded Duolingo.”
27. One day Zelda invited Link over for dinner. She had cooked a huge feast – roasted meat, vegetable skewers, hydromelon pie for dessert. Link’s eyes widened as he saw all the delicious food laid out.
“Wow Princess, this looks amazing! You really went all out tonight, what’s the special occasion?” Link asked.
Zelda smiled and said “Well Link, I just appreciate everything you do for Hyrule…and for me. My hero deserves a nice home cooked meal every now and then!”
Link blushed and smiled back. “Aww shucks, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble just for me.”
“Nonsense!” Zelda replied. “After everything we’ve been through, a nice quiet dinner together is the least I could do. Now dig in before it gets cold!”
Link happily obliged and they both enjoyed a wonderful meal together.
