Yoda Puns
1. What do you call a snack made by Yoda? Yodibles.
2. Why was Yoda afraid of the number seven? Because six, seven ate!
3. What did Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4K? HDMI, I look.
4. How does Yoda like his sandwiches? On Dagobread with Hamayonnaise.
5. What does Yoda use to pay for things? Midichlorian Express.
6. Why does Yoda make a great carpenter? He nails everything perfectly first try.
7. What did Yoda say when asked about new student enrollment? Many applicants there are.
8. Why was Yoda upset about his hotel room? Because it was not the suite he was looking for.
9. What’s Yoda’s favorite activity while camping? Yodeling.
10. Why did Yoda make a good lifeguard? Because size matters not when saving lives.
11. What did Yoda say when he first tried truffle oil? Fungi delicacy, this is.
12. What is Yoda’s favorite sport? Jediqball.
Yoda One-Liners
13. Yoda’s so short you can see his feet on his ID.
14. Yoda is so old, his birth certificate expired.
15. Yoda is so green he makes the Hulk look tan.
16. Yoda’s so wrinkly his face looks like a relief map.
17. Yoda’s ears are so big he gets HD radio.
18. Yoda is so tiny you can mail him for three stamps.
19. Yoda’s teeth are so yellow traffic slows when he smiles.
20. Yoda’s so short he poses for trophies.
21. Yoda’s so old his first Christmas was the first Christmas.
22. Yoda is so wise Facebook had to change from “It’s complicated” to “Ask Yoda”.
Best Yoda Jokes
23. One day a man ran into Yoda at a bar and asked, “Master Yoda, what advice do you have for me?” Yoda responded sagely, “Trust in the Force you must, for guide you it will.” The man looked puzzled and said, “But Master Yoda, what does that really mean?” Yoda stared at him intensely and replied, “Buy me a beer you should, if listen to me you will not.”
24. Luke Skywalker came to Dagobah searching for the great Jedi master Yoda. When he met Yoda, he didn’t believe it was really him because of how small and wrinkly he was. “But Master Yoda, you’re so tiny and old,” exclaimed Luke. Yoda’s eyes narrowed as he replied, “Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not, for my ally is the Force. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter!” Luke stood amazed as Yoda continued, “Reckless is he who…” Suddenly Yoda stopped and snapped, “Wait, did you just call me old? How rude! Respect your elders, young one!”
25. One day Yoda was teaching his students about mindfulness when suddenly he paused and said, “Hmm sense a disturbance in the Force I do.” He closed his eyes and focused for a moment before suddenly exclaiming, “Feel great pain I do. Run over my foot with his speeder, young Skywalker just did!”
26. Yoda was growing concerned about Luke Skywalker’s progress in his Jedi training. During one lesson, he decided to test Luke’s abilities. “A ship in the distance I see,” said Yoda. “Tell me about it, you will.” Luke concentrated deeply, reaching out with the Force. After a moment his eyes opened wide. “It’s the Millennium Falcon! Han and Chewie are on board!” Yoda shook his head. “Names and details focus on, you do. Missed the point of the exercise, you have. Try again you must.” Looking chastened, Luke closed his eyes to focus once more. “A small ship it is. Two beings aboard there are. Friendly they seem, their purpose unknown.” Yoda nodded approvingly. “Good, good. Learning you are.” Luke smiled, pleased to have finally passed his teacher’s test.
27. One day Yoda and Luke Skywalker went to a diner for some lunch. When the waitress came to take their order, Luke said, “I’ll have a bantha burger with fries.” The waitress turned to Yoda and asked, “And what can I get for you, sir?” Yoda replied, “The special of the day, I wish to eat. Surprise me, you will.” The waitress smiled and said, “You got it!” She returned shortly with their meals. Luke dug into his burger while Yoda eyed his plate uncertainly. It was covered in a pile of green, slimy tentacles. Luke frowned and said, “Uh, are you sure this is what he ordered?” The waitress laughed and said, “Yep! He told me to surprise him, so voila!” Yoda simply shrugged and began using the Force to levitate the tentacles into his mouth. When they had finished eating, Luke asked, “So Master Yoda, how did you like your surprise meal?” Yoda answered, “Always full of surprises is the Force. Eat what life gives you, a Jedi must!”
28. Luke Skywalker was struggling with his Jedi training under Master Yoda. No matter how hard he tried, he just could not seem to master the skill of levitation using the Force. After weeks of failure, Luke became frustrated and complained to Yoda, “Master, I’ve been practicing for so long – why can’t I get this right?” Yoda responded, “Patience you must have, young one. Difficult levitation is. Watch this.” Yoda then used the Force to levitate and spin Luke’s X-Wing fighter hundreds of feet in the air. Luke’s mouth hung open in amazement. Yoda chuckled and said, “Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you? In the Force, anything is possible!” Luke nodded sheepishly and resolved to keep practicing.
29. One day Luke Skywalker came to Dagobah for his Jedi training with Master Yoda, but could not find him anywhere. He searched high and low through the swamps and finally discovered Yoda sitting quietly atop his hut. “Master Yoda, I’m here for my lesson,” called Luke. Yoda opened one eye and said, “No lesson today there will be. Sick I am.” Luke was surprised. “You’re sick? But you’re a powerful Jedi Master!” Yoda nodded sagely. “Strong am I with the Force, but colds against me it has no effect.” He then let out a huge sneeze that blew Luke backwards into the swamp.
30. One day, Luke Skywalker went to see Yoda for more Jedi training. As he walked up, Yoda had his eyes closed and was sitting very still. Luke waited a few moments, then asked, “Master Yoda, are you okay?” Without opening his eyes, Yoda responded, “Silence, young padawan. Meditating, I am.” Luke frowned and said, “Sorry to disturb you Master, but we have training scheduled for today.” Yoda slowly opened his eyes and looked at Luke. “Schedule training we did not. Assumed it, you did. Expectations lead to impatience and frustration. Let go of expectations you must.” Luke nodded and sat down beside Yoda. After several minutes of meditating together in silence, Luke realized they were actually having a very profound training session about patience and mindfulness.
31. One day, Obi-Wan decided to play a little joke on Yoda. He used the Force to lift Yoda’s hut several feet off the ground while he was inside meditating. After an hour, Obi-Wan carefully set the hut back down. He then knocked on the door and asked, “Master Yoda, did you notice anything unusual during your meditation today?” Yoda responded, “Yes, a great disturbance in the Force I felt. Lift my hut into the air someone did.” Obi-Wan laughed and explained it was just a harmless prank. Yoda replied, “A Jedi craves not these things. Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. However, funny it was!” And they both laughed heartily.
32. Luke Skywalker was training with Yoda on Dagobah when he saw a snake slithering through the swamp. “Look Master, a snake!” said Luke. “Should I use the Force to stop it?” Yoda shook his head. “Let nature take its course we must. Attack you the snake will not unless provoke it you do.” But Luke ignored Yoda’s advice. When the snake came close, Luke concentrated and levitated the startled serpent high into the air. Losing his focus, he accidentally flung it far away into the forest. Yoda sighed. “Reckless is he who disturbs the balance of nature. Listen you must, if a Jedi you wish to become!”
33. One day, Luke Skywalker came to train with Master Yoda on Dagobah. Yoda decided to teach Luke about trusting his instincts. A blindfold was placed on Luke, and Yoda instructed him to use his lightsaber to deflect lasers being shot at him. However, unknown to Luke, Yoda was just throwing small pebbles at him instead. Luke successfully blocked every pebble, thinking they were lasers. Afterward, Luke removed the blindfold, saw the pebbles and realized what Yoda had done. “But Master,” protested Luke, “you told me there were lasers!” Yoda chuckled. “Told you, I did not. Assumed that, you did. Trust in the Force, you must!”
34. One day, Luke Skywalker went to see Yoda for Jedi training. “Master Yoda, I keep having troubling visions about the future. How do I know if they’re real or just dreams?” he asked. Yoda responded, “The future, always in motion it is. Visions, just one possible path they show. Fear leads to anger, anger to hate, hate to suffering. At ease you must be, if see clearly you wish.” Later, Luke had a vision of himself falling to the dark side. Alarmed, he returned to Yoda and described what he saw. Yoda closed his eyes for a long moment before speaking. “Careful you must be when sensing the future. But trust yourself, you should. If into darkness you go, only you can choose to return to the light.”
35. One day, Luke Skywalker came to Dagobah for training with Yoda and saw him looking up at the sky. “What are you doing, Master Yoda?” asked Luke. “Cloud watching, I am,” replied Yoda. Luke looked up but only saw a clear blue sky. “But Master, there are no clouds today,” he said, confused. “Precisely,” said Yoda with a smile. “Open your mind you must, young one. For the imagination, a clear sky is a perfect canvas.” Luke sat down and gazed upward. After relaxing his mind, he began to see majestic castles, soaring bird flocks, and distant starship battles emerge in the empty sky. Luke then understood the lesson – with the power of the Force and his imagination, anything was possible.
36. One day during training, Luke Skywalker grew frustrated and said to Yoda, “Master, I feel like I’m wasting my time here. My friends are fighting the Empire while I’m stuck in a swamp!” Yoda nodded thoughtfully. “Adventure and excitement, you seek. Understand this, I do. But grasp the deeper meaning of the Force, you still do not.” Luke sighed. “I want to become a Jedi, but I feel restless.” Yoda responded, “A Jedi craves not excitement or adventure. Focus on the journey, you must! Here to learn patience and wisdom, you are. If ignore the present, success you will never find.” Luke considered his words. “You’re right, Master. I need to be mindful and trust the process.” From then on, Luke worked hard without complaint, knowing it was a crucial step on his greater path.
37. Luke Skywalker came running to Yoda in a panic one day. “Master Yoda, I just had a vision of my friends Han, Leia and Chewbacca in danger on Cloud City!” Luke said. “What should I do?” Yoda closed his eyes and was silent for a long moment. Finally he spoke: “Danger I sense as well. But fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Calm your mind you must.” Luke took a deep breath but seemed conflicted. “Let go of attachment you must,” advised Yoda. Luke protested, “But I have to save them!” Yoda shook his head. “No. Their path, this is. Yours, here is. Trust in the Force, you must.” Luke wanted to argue further, but gradually realized Yoda was right. Wherever the Force led him, there he would follow.
38. One day, Luke was practicing levitating objects with the Force for Yoda. He started with small rocks and gradually worked his way up to larger objects. Feeling confident, Luke said, “Watch this, Master!” He proceeded to concentrate intensely on lifting Yoda’s entire hut into the air. The little hut shuddered and lifted a few feet up. Luke grinned, but suddenly a disturbance in the Force overwhelmed him and the hut came crashing back down. Yoda leaned out the door and whacked Luke with his gimer stick. “Reckless and impatient you are!” scolded Yoda. “Respect a Jedi must have for all lifeforms. Lift my house again, you will not!” Luke apologized and promised to only use his skills responsibly from then on.
39. One day, Luke Skywalker approached Yoda looking very somber. “Master Yoda, I have some grave news. I’ve become quite ill and the doctors say I only have two weeks left to live.” Yoda nodded slowly. “A great challenge, facing death is. But fear not, young one. For the Force eternal is. When gone you are, join it you will.” Luke nodded sadly. Yoda smiled and tapped him with his stick. “Fooled you, I did! Joke it was. Now, laugh you must not at death. Instead, cherish life!” Luke couldn’t help but laugh, realizing Yoda had taught him a valuable lesson about having reverence for life.
40. Luke Skywalker came running excitedly to Yoda one day during his training. “Master Yoda, look! I finally managed to use the Force to lift my entire X-Wing fighter out of the swamp!” Luke said proudly. Yoda looked up at where the fighter hovered unsteadily in the air, dripping swamp muck and vines. After a moment, the X-Wing came crashing back into the swamp with a huge splash. Luke looked down, deflated. Yoda shook his head and said, “Young Skywalker, joy in success a Jedi must not revel. Achievement, a long road it is. Much training ahead, you still have!” Luke nodded, acknowledging that skill requires patience and practice, not just fleeting accomplishments.
41. One day during training, Luke Skywalker sensed a threat and ignited his lightsaber. But Master Yoda held up his hand and said, “Put away your weapon, you will not need it.” From the forest, Darth Vader emerged! “The Force is with you, young Skywalker. But you are not a Jedi yet,” boomed Vader. Luke trembled, but Yoda calmly said, “An illusion, this is. No danger here, there is.” Luke reached out with his feelings and realized Yoda was right – the “Vader” disappeared. Yoda then said, “Trust your instincts, you must. But let the Force guide you always.” Luke understood – he needed to conquer fear and not be deceived by mere appearances.
42. Luke sought Yoda out for advice one day. “Master Yoda, I don’t know which path is the right one for me moving forward. How do I choose?” Yoda responded, “The Force flows through all living things. Clear your mind, listen to its will.” But Luke felt conflicted. “I understand Master, but sometimes I can’t hear the Force’s guidance clearly. What should I do?” Yoda thought carefully before responding. “Trust yourself, you should. Risk being wrong at times, you must. From mistakes, wisdom grows.” Luke considered this. He knew following the Force required faith in himself and accepting imperfect progress. With Yoda’s help, the way would reveal itself.
43. One day, Luke Skywalker was struggling to master Jedi mind control techniques with Yoda. Growing frustrated, Luke said, “Master Yoda, how am I supposed to influence others’ thoughts? Their minds are too strong-willed!” Yoda closed his eyes, pondering the question deeply. After a few moments, he looked at Luke and said, “The greatest power, belief is. Think it impossible, others do. But doubt not yourself. Focus…believe…” Suddenly, Luke heard Yoda’s voice inside his head: “Hear me, can you?” Luke’s eyes widened in shock. Yoda had used the Force to project his thoughts directly into Luke’s mind! From then on